how can i repent
ive lost myself as man and muslim, as person and as student
my grades exploded down
my parents think im failing and keep comparing me to 'failed' siblings which hurts me on behalf of my siblings and for me
dont pray, read quran or sunnah, or memorize hadith no longer--or when i do pray i delay it by a lot
ive let my health and body go, and i see myself unfit to lead a family later in life or to protect my household as im scared of cockroaches and lizards, and find it very very hard to stand up to people, i usually just apologize(not correct as i have no fault usually) or stay silent and let my anger explode into fits of swearing or doubt about religion(astaghfirullah)
@Mahd12
i want allah(swt) i want faith and peace
i want salam and blessing and just a family that would support my tawheed and tawakul
how do i repent at this dark, dark, deep, ocean of my sins?
@Mahd12 Dear brother,
You think you are lost; yet the one who is truly lost does not search for the way.
But you are searching… and that search is a beautiful proof that your heart is still alive.
At times, a person’s inner world becomes like a dark, stormy ocean. Sins seem to grow, hope seems to shrink, and one feels unable to carry oneself. But do not forget:
No matter how deep the ocean is, Allah’s mercy is deeper still.
Turning back to Allah does not mean becoming perfect all at once.
Sometimes the return begins with nothing more than a quiet desire in the heart.
And that desire within you is a light that has not gone out.
Know this well:
As you try to set yourself right, Allah will set your affairs right.
But this happens not all at once—rather, step by step, with patience.
You are a student.
To study is your responsibility. Neglecting it only makes your burden heavier. Make a simple plan, sit down, and work. Even if it feels difficult, continue—because effort rebuilds a person piece by piece.
As for worship, avoid extremes.
This religion is a path of balance.
It is not right to leave everything and turn only to worship,
nor to abandon worship and drown completely in worldly matters.
Hold on to your five daily prayers.
They take only a small portion of your day, yet they are a great anchor for your heart. At first, they may feel heavy… but with patience, that heaviness slowly turns into peace.
Know that prayer is not only for the moments when you feel strong;
it is a refuge for the moments when you feel most tired and broken.
And do not neglect reading.
Reading the Qur’an and works that explain its truths revives the heart. As you read, you begin to understand yourself and the meaning behind what you are going through. You realize you are not alone, even in the midst of everything.
You are not asked to be perfect.
You are only asked not to give up.
Take one small step today.
Then another tomorrow…
And one day, perhaps without even realizing it,
standing before Allah will become the most peaceful moment of your life.
@Mahd12
Allah us all merciful and I believe you will get through this.
Dear @Mahd12
I would be interested in asking, in the past, at your strongest and best, what were/are you like?
@Sharings
used to pray a lot, used to be happier, used to be more god-conscious
i used to partake in my hobbies more
@Mahd12
What's getting in the way these days?
@Sharings
severe academic stress as ive fallen behind mentally, ive lost a lot of my health and muscle, and my deen has been fading