Learning from Challenging Situations - Info & Your Feedback Welcome
Over the past week, the community team has been working hard behind the scenes to manage a series of situations that have been incredibly challenging. We want to be 100% clear with you all that we are dedicated to making 7 Cups as safe as possible. We know we have work to do here, but we are also managing a variety of existing processes and protocols proactively daily that you may not even realize. You can read about some of them here. You can also read about Teen Safety here.
There are some situations where we will "red flag" some behaviors. Broadly these behaviors include:
- Sexual messaging or flirting
- Repeatedly not improving as a listener after getting feedback
- Harassing, stalking or using graphic language
When this happens, we work hard to be kind and compassionate. We want to hear your voice so we can learn as much as possible and draw from your ideas. It has an impact on the community management team and other users.
We're auditing our teen safety protocols as a result of this and please reach out if you're interested in sharing your ideas.
@CuriousKate @Jill7Cups @Heather225
@Laura What is meant by a red flag? Some of the offenses listed as a red flag only get 1 behaviour point based on what's still linked to the community guidelines.
@wonderfulMagic99
thanks for mentioning, let me tweak so they match!
Hey Laura, first of all thank you so much for taking action on this, it's really appreciated.
As for other steps that could be taken, I've been thinking about a teen safety team run by teens. Obviously they can't check the review forms and would have to be careful to make sure details of the incident aren't scared etc but they could be someone to go to in that moment of panic when you realise that you should report someone, but aren't sure if you would damage your relationship with them and your reputation because of it. It can be scary reaching out to an admin or an ambassador (trust me, the first time I had a conversation with an admin I was shaking the whole time :P) because we don't know you like we know the people we see around the rooms. These people could also be used as a liaison if necessary if a teen is feeling unheard or overpowered by admin, again being careful about confidentiality but making sure teens feel like they have the power to do something if they've been wronged.
Other things could include safety discussions (honestly not sure if we still have them, I've been away for a while!) and keeping up with forum posts making sure people know what they can do - but I have to stress that just having that knowledge isn't necessarily enough when it comes down to actually having to report a friend.
@PhoenixAsh
This is a good idea!
@Laura
thank-you for working so hard to make all these recent posts so clear and showing that 7Cups is open to finding new ways to improve.
@PhoenixAsh
I love your ideas! And yes, we do have safety discussions, I usually hold one or two a week.
@Erato
I really like the idea of a team, I already suggested this in another thread, and it's not just applicable to teens, over 18's need one too.
We need continuity with a point of contact and also I would add that it would be great to have 24/7 CM coverage. It can be hard to get admin support sometimes if one is in the UK or Eastern timezones. For any new team having people from different timezones would be a great boost to having coverage, especially as making contact/reporting can be a very difficult decision to make, but to then have to wait for another timezone to wake up etc can prolong the scariness and that is when self-doubt and second guessing comes in.
Listening .... One Step At A Time
@Laura Thank you for this! I'm glad that you're very open to feedback and are taking actions to work on teen safety.
In line with @PhoenixAsh's suggestion, I'm thinking if it'd be a great idea to bring back the Teen CM of the Day (click here for more info) by our former Teen Community Manager, @Iara. Obviously, I didn't see this running so I really have no idea how it worked but based from the old threads I've come cross regarding this, I think it's a great opportunity for the teens to know how the Teen Community Manager works and have a chance to be a leader themselves to represent the teen community. They'd be trained by the Teen Community Manager directly about what they need to know like conflict resolution, professionalism, confidentiality, providing feedback, de-escalation of conflicts and other skills that they'll utilize during their time as Teen CM. Moreover, they'll be communicating directly with the Teen Community Manager and Teen Ambassadors to brainstorm ideas.
However, this shouldn't burden or interrupt the teen's offline life and responsibilities. We still want them to prioritize their personal life and this shouldn't serve as a chore for them or push them to overwork themselves since this is just a volunteerism. The admin, Teen Community Manager, will not be replaced by the Teen CM and is still expected to do what they're intended to do.
Some changes I'd like to suggest with this project:
>Update the requirements (make them higher) and application form
>Instead of Teen CM of the Day, I think it'd be nice to have Teen CM of the Month to be consistent with the point of contact
>Make strong boundaries especially with the time
>Tweak the definition or the title of the role and make changes with the tasks that the Teen CM will do to cater the needs of the teen community
@Laura how is it determined that a listener is " repeatedly not improving after getting feedback " what does that mean exactly? i think everyone would appreciate if all these red flag offenses were explained examples for each one what stalking is what might look like stalking but does not rise to the standard of being labeled as stalking (for example someone who is clingy and just wants attention) and exceptions and furthur explanation for all of these red flag offenses so everyone can have a clear understanding maybe start a thread about red flag offenses what they are and are not with examples
@jennysunrise8 For example, Listener A is repeteadly reported for sharing or requesting offsite contact information and they're requested by Admin to stop. Yet, Listener A keeps sharing or requesting offsite contact information, and doesn't change their behaviour.
@Blaze i understand that someone who is doing something wrong and continues to do it even after being warned should face consequences but my main question is how is it being decided that the person did something wrong at that they are continuing to do something wrong in other words how are they reaching the conclusion that someone is doing something wrong repeatedly how are they ruling out that the multiple reports coming in are not coming from the same person who has multiple accounts here or coming from people who are not in a stable place mentally or emotionally or that they are a series of troll reports so i was just curious how they come to the conclusion that the person did do something wrong and that they are continuing doing something wrong
@jennysunrise8
Speaking for myself here- Admin looks into every report and I am sure they have ways of verifying. As for stable place emotionally or mentally, we come back to my theory that every report is subjective because it has to be. You don't have to be unstable to submit a fake report, just as an unstable person isn't necessarily submitting a fake report. For example, someone can submit a report, not be in an emotionally well place, and still have it be true. If someone tries to get someones contact information, that doesn't make the unstable person wrong even if they did submit a report saying that person did.
I'm sure you know all this and you just want to know how can they distinguish. I don't know honestly as I'm not admin, but there's probably a process just like every online site that has a report button. Whether they can share that process is another story- most sites don't share those types of things for security purposes. Gives people more wiggle room to work around.
@EvelyneRose a persons mental/emotional state is only relevant when the report is based on the reporters feelings/personal interpretation of what happened and since you cannot screenshot the reporters mind the only thing you can do is talk to the person (or look at some recording of the interaction) and ask questions to find out why they believe that way or why they were offended so if its a report based on thoughts and feelings and is completely subjective yes the persons mental and emotional state of course matters but things like reporting contact information being given out thats not a matter of someones opinion or interpretation so its not a subjective report when dealing with subjective reports based on opinions and not facts itll take longer to get to the truth there needs to be a longer investigation because more questions need to be asked oand more context needed to be taken into consideration to determine if the person actually did something wrong
like i said what needs to be decided before action is taken against someone is that the person did something wrong not that the person reporting thinks that they did (do other people looking at what happened come to the same conclusion as the person making the report and agree ?) i hope thats what theyre doing but i can see how it would just be easier to process every subjective report iinstead of taking the time to determine if its true and that the person did do something wrong thats true that we dont really know just giving my thoughts on it ;)
@jennysunrise8 I don't know the exact protocol but I'm sure there's something like a 3 strike system. It's arbitrary, the line is drawn somewhere and protocols are followed from there. Like with every single rule and law anywhere and everywhere.
@Laura
Thanks so much for this post. I know safety in the teen community has been on everyone's minds and issues have arisen recently which need to be looked into. Having safety policies and protocols in place is an important first step so thank you for providing that information. When safety issues arise, it can be terrifying for the person affected to submit a report and take that first step. Believe me, the first time I had to message an admin and write a report I was shaking the whole time. As @PhoenixAsh said, we dont know you as well as the people we are familiar with in the rooms and around the site. Often its the fear that we will be punished or because of speaking up we will be looked down upon in the community. We dont want to be wronged for doing whats right. Sometimes we feel ashamed about telling someone because we dont want to hurt the user who hurt us (especially if they're a friend) so we stay quiet, take a deep breath and try to keep being strong. But unless people speak up, how is anything going to change? Listeners and members should know and trust the admins/CM so when they come across a safety issue, they know their experiences will be validated and they will be supported in a way where their reports of harassment, bullying, abuse will all be taken seriously.
Even though all these report forms and information about who to contact exist (thanks to your hard work in coming up a plan), ultimately it's how these reports are going to be handled after they are submitted. Will they be seen and noticed but not followed through with? Will it take multiple reports from listeners and members of the community to get the attention of safety team members only to be denied? Or will appropriate action will be taken both to support the listener/member who has just gone through something scary and for the user who is responsible for the abuse?
In the every day chatrooms, forums and other parts of cups, I feel as though usually it's just a few of us who notice safety issues and are actively making reports only to later see the same person bully us again. So we submit another report. It feels like a cycle of being bullied, reaching out for help, not being heard and submitting again.
I agree with others thoughts on having a special team of dedicated teen/ATL leaders who could act as a safe space to reach out to in a moment of panic when you arent sure what to do or how to handle a situation. As someone who has been in that place, I think it would feel relieving to know that there is someone who I trust to provide a light and a guiding hand as to where to go next in the complete darkness we can experience when something happens onsite ♡ Could we also perhaps have a forum post on how to submit a L-L form? Something that outlines a mock report with information that explains what helpful information and context actually look like?
@MayaRoseBird5656 @laura
I totally agree with what maya is saying, being around 7cups since november so a good chunk of time I have noticed many of the same things, issues being adressed in the moment but then it continues to happend time after time. With some of us seeing safety issues but being too scared to speak up on them it is a common thing, with the average saying it is the internet in my opinion and it is going to happend but some of us are too scared and notice it and pick up on it alot more. It is modern day time but it has become more of an issue and not seeing changes being done. I don't normally add to these disscusions but it has become an increase worry and has driven a lot of teens away from 7cups, or us being scared to do support in some situations. Correct me if I am wrong please.
@KarrotCake
Hi! Honestly I think admin is doing their best to address safety, but with such a large community, having community help is really important. If you are scared to speak up, can I ask why? Are you worried about retaliation or someone finding out? The only people that see LL reports are admin, so the only way anyone would know it was you is if you told someone you were going to report, or that person you reported guessed it was you based on situational context, but even then they don't know for sure.
If you ever feel scared to report, don't be afraid to reach out to me! I will try to be there for you! Feel free to PM me if you are worried about replying here.
@EvelyneRose
Thanks Evelyne there are so many different reasons, I get that the LL reports are there and I do understand the admins are doing their best to make it safe. There are many factors that can make me be scared to speak up. There is always the fear of retaliation and the threats that could happen when you report which I have had happen, I know from experience on doing L-L reports that for some reason sometimes someone figures out that you did one when you have said nothing to them and have them blocked, they come to you in another way. There are so many means because most listeners have members accounts that they abuse to get to you after they are blocked on their listener account, to engage in conflict resulting in you having to block them again and again. The fear of reporting and getting hurt on your reputation on 7cups is one other issue. Because listeners do begin triagulation and do not realize it at the time.
@MayaRoseBird5656
I can probably answer a bit of that last question! An LL form or block report should have as much detail as possible so admin gets the full context of what happened. An example of a bad report is something like "X is annoying me they won't leave me alone". It doesn't give much context about what happened, what was annoying, etc. A good report would be something like "On X date around X time, Y listener said Z to me. I asked them to please not do so because it hurt my feelings. I tried to resolve using conflict resolution first as per the site rules. They said they were sorry, however the next day they did the same thing to me. I have asked them to respect my boundaries, but they have continued. Today on X, they again said Z. I have blocked them so as to avoid this type of conversation from continuing after letting them know that I've asked them to stop and they haven't so I had to block them. Please see attached screenshot."
This is just one way, there's plenty of different ways to write one, just make sure it has details that are relevant to the situation.
I hope this helps!
@EvelyneRose
Evelyne thanks! That really does clear things up a lot for me ♡ *gives gold star*
@MayaRoseBird5656
Yay I'm glad!