Rumors and Gossip: How to protect our community from such behavior.

Hi there everyone! Recently there has been some concerns being raised and lots of murmurs going around that spread negativity into our community so I wanted to talk to you all about rumors and how they impact our community and ourselves in a bad light.

What are rumors/gossip?

Rumors and gossip are in many ways natural parts of human interaction, yet when we allow negative comments to float around our community we are polluting our home and making it less amazing. For the context of this post we will define what gossip and rumors mean:

Gossipâ idle talk especially about the personal or private affairs of others.

Rumorâ a currently circulating story or report of uncertain or doubtful truth.

How are Rumors and Gossip hurtful to us as a community?

Rumors and gossip are hurtful because they are bias information being spread around without the consent of those involved. They damage trust, bring negativity and cause many hurt feelings. This is not what our community stand for, and I (nor any of you) should tolerate these interaction in a place where support, empathy and compassion is the focus.

Sometimes it's hard to imagine the lasting impact a few words (not even said to someones face) could cause. So join me in this little analogy to help you visualize what rumor and gossip can feel like:

Once there was a foolish woman in a small village, who spread some gossip about another woman in the village. Before long the foolish woman began to feel remorse about what she had done, so she went to the wise man of the village to ask him what she could do to make things right. The wise man listened carefully to her story, thought for a moment, and then told her to go to the market and buy a chicken. On the way home from the market she was to pluck that chicken letting the feathers fall along the path. The next day she was to come back and see the wise man again. The foolish woman did as the wise man suggested. She bought a chicken and plucked it on the way home. When she came to him the next day she told him that she had done what he asked her to do. The wise man said to her, Now, I want you to go home today by the same road you took yesterday, and pick up every single feather you dropped along the path. The woman was distraught, and protested that there was absolutely no way she could find and pick up all those feathers. The wind would have surely blown them everywhere! The wise man quietly responded, You are correct...and you see, just as you can never retrieve all those feathers, there is no way you can ever restore the reputation of the woman whom you harmed with your words. The Chicken Story â A Tale of Regret (found here) Originally attributed to Levi Yitzhak of Berditchev

What things to do when you want to handle gossip and rumors in a healthy way?

Before we go into the things you can do, let's talk about what you shouldnt do:

âDont react aggressively towards it, or the person telling you the rumor

âDont spread rumors and gossip yourself or to get back on someone

âDont encourage it, you might have not started it but by being passive to it you are also contributing to the problem.

If it's about you, you can:

âStay calmed and take a step back before reacting

âConfront the source and use conflict resolution skills

âUse the reporting tools (learn more about those here)

âBe willing to clean the air and move forward after it has been addressed.

If you hear a rumor not related to you:

âRemind the person that told you this rumor or gossip about our guidelines (Specifically #2)

âUse the reporting tools (link to more information here)

âReach out to our community managers: @Heather225 @Hope and @ASilentObserver about them

âLead by example: Be honest, open and transparent in your interactions.