Is there such a rule that 'illegal relationship can't be discussed in 7 Cups'?
I'm a new member. Last night while I was chatting with a listener about a complicate/forbidden relationship I'm in, he suddenly told me that he had to close the chat because speaking about an illegal relationship would make him become partaking in something illegal, and recommended me to seek legal resources. I was shocked, as I'd never known there was such a rule here, but I just said 'OK' and ended it.
After the chat ended, I cried a lot (well, I was already very moody and anxious before the chat started), overwhlemed by tremondous guilt and shame, because his reaction was exactly why I had kept it as a secret during the past 4 years till 4 days ago when I found 7 Cups by accident and started to talk about it with some listeners here. Yes, it is an illeagal relationship, that's why I couldn't talk about it with my mental health support system or anyone in real life, afraid that they will take legal action against the so called 'perportrator if they know about it'. If his talking/listening to me talking about this 'illegal relationship' is partaking something illegal, what does it say about me who choose to remain in this relationship? A criminal??? Have I been violateing the rule here by talking about it with other listeners in the past few days? Thus, my first thought was to leave 7 Cups quietly (my habit of being a turtle) and never talked about it with others again, as I didn't want to violate the policy here.
I took a couple hours of break, came back after I was calmer, and started to reflect on this incident. Something doesn't feel right. Yes, this is an illegal relationship, but base on the law, I'm the victim in this relationship. If the victims of the abuse are not allowed to talk about it at all, how can we expect them to generate the courage to take further actions to change their situations??? To me, that doesn't make sense at all to have such policy in place here. Therefore, I write this post, hopeing someone let me know if there is such a rule here. If so, I appologize for violating the rule without knowing, and promise that I'll not talk about that issue in here again.
On a side note, here is my plea to all the wonderful, warm-hearted listeners: I truly appreciate and admire you for volunteering your time, heart and energy to reach out to members in need. It is not an easy task to share the burden others are carrying, and at times it can be very emotional draining or even triggering. Thank you for taking the risk to do this meaningful work. I understand that there may be time that listeners need to end the conversation prematurely, whether it is because they are not comfortable with the topics or it is against their personal beliefs or for whatever reasons. That's completely understandable and acceptable, even necessary. But please, when you end it, end it with empathy and compassion, put yourself in the member's shoes and think about how the other person may feel by the way you end it, because you never know what the other person has been/is going through, and how much courage needed for them to open up to you on a difficult issue. While members may not/should not be suicidal here, they are still vunerable, or they wouldn't be here seeking support. The way you end the chat can have very different results.
I would like to quote a listener's words here, [I'm not sure if this is considered as a violation of sharing a chat detail, if so, please remove it from the post. I include it because this is exactly what I meant by ending it with empathy and compassion; and that I feel the listener deserves the credit and the praise for being such a wonderful and compassionate listener!!!]
"I can refer you to another listener that I trust if it is ok with you. I don't want you to feel that I don't care or don't want to help you. I just want you to get the best support you can get at this point. And unfortunately I don't think I can provide that right now."
Thank you for being such an angel with a gentle spirit, and for letting me know that you ended the conversation because you truly care about me!!!
Edited by Eunoia to remove username
It sounds like that listener ended the chat because of their interpretation of the law. In that case 7 Cups' own rules are not the issue. It's impossible to comment on their interpretation of the law because the listener could be in any legal jurisdiction worldwide. If the listener suddenly became frightened by the legal implications, that might explain why the chat ended so abruptly. I agree with you that it was not a helpful or professional way to end the chat, and I hope listeners who read your post will understand that.
I'm in England, and my interpretation of the law here does not make me feel frightened to chat about any kind of relationship.
@Turtle2016
@RarelyCharlie
well, I'm in the same country with this listener, so I can kind of understand why he might not want to partake in the conversation... because in our country, all medical and counselling professionals and maybe some other kind of professionals are bound by the professional code of mandertory reporting if they learn about the practictioner violation like my case and if they know the perportrator's identity. And that's why there's no way for me to talk about it with my mental health support system in real life without getting the person I'm involved with into trouble.
Thanks for making yourself available. 
Maybe we can find some time to chat later on. (need to work on a research paper these few days).
@Turtle2016
You're right, it's possible that some law on mandatory reporting was in that listener's thoughts. Or maybe some professional code.
@Turtle2016
Hello,
Welcome to 7 cups. I am very glad, you took a step towards caring for yourself, I understand how courageous that really is. However, I am very sorry to hear that your first experience here, far from helping, made you feel judged and guilty. That was NOT correct. No members should be turned away from 7 cups unless they are actively suicidal (This is for their own good, for them to receive the support they need) and people who are abusive or homicidal.
You can let the admin know about the listener by leaving them a review and a rating. Reviews help us know how each listener is, and especially when a situation like this happens, reviews contribute to our efforts of it not repeating again.
I am very glad to hear that you were able to reflect on the incident calmly, and you met other listeners, with whom you had a good time. I completely agree that the way we end a chat has a great effect on members.
I hope you have a great journey here. Thank you for coming out, and posting about this.
Ps: I edited your post to remove usernames. Information about chat, such as who talked with who, and any specific details, that can lead to identification of any listener or member are usually considered confidential.
@Eunoia
Thank you for the warm welcome and affirmation, and for editing the post. ^_^ as I'm not fully familar with some detailed guideline yet.
I wasn't planning to post a review on this listener as I thought that it was his right to decide with whom and on what topic he likes to participate in, and don't really feel comfortable to case a bad review on specific listeners for I don't want to get them into trouble, feeling bad for being critical while they are trying to help, so I usally post reviews for good chats, and overlook the not so positive ones. But I guess what you and @Cadence said are right, it's important to take stpes to prevent the similar incidents from happening to other members...
I think 7 Cups is a great community, as I've already encountered some kind-hearted listeners and encouragers, including all of you who take time to read and respond to my post! ^_^ Thanks for making the place available to all!
@Turtle2016,
I'm pretty much going to say what the other two lovely listeners in this thread said - your listener was in the wrong, for sure. Always make sure you write written reviews so the review team knows that this listener is doing this kind of thing.
As for illegality, we are allowed to speak to anyone about anything. Each listener may have their own personal preferences about what kinds of topics they listen about, but fundamentally we're not allowed to turn away anyone unless they're suicidal, as @Eunoia said. But even in circumstances like that, we're supposed to direct them to a place where they feel safe and welcome.
Do not feel as though you have to keep your life secret, little flower. This is one place where we promise confidentiality and safety.
@Cadence
Great! It's a relief to know that it's OK to just be me and share what's on my mind freely in the place without needing to worry about being judged or concern about confidentiality, This is truly a gift that hard to find in the real world. Thanks for being supportive and welcoming!
@Turtle2016 Just wanted to pop my head into the conversation and say, I totally agree with what everyone has said. There is no rule against talking about "taboo" subjects and it's unfortunate you had this experience here. Can't say I wasn't shaking my head at what you described, it sounds like a horrible experience.
If you are still interested in speaking with a listener, do not hesitate to message me 
@KindListening & @bookworm4
Thank you both for your compassionate and empathic words... it really made me felt being heard and accepted. Definitely would love to have a chance to chat with you. Thanks for reaching out to me and offer support at the time of need. Especially in the time that I can't access my mental health support system in real life, having a safety net here, a group of caring listeners I can turn to become even more crucial in helping me weather through the strorm....
Thank you for making yourself available!
@Turtle2016~ welcome to 7 cups Turtle ... thank you for reaching out here and i know how hard it can be to open up no matter how big or small the matter is.. to keep something in for such a long time as you've mentioned and then having the strength to let it out/open up i think thats very brave... we're here for you and if you want to talk about absolutely anything please feel free to message me and even if i cant help you i can listen to you