Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

3 Tips For Creating a Self-Kindness Practice

User Profile: Laura
Laura August 28th, 2017

Hello all! In my free time, I enjoy writing about self-help topics. So I will share some of my writings in this forum. Enjoy :)

So often, self-sabotaging thoughts wonder our minds. Its quite rude, actually. Thoughts of inadequacy, doubt, self-loathing…. they find a buoy in our minds, latch on and hold on for dear life. These thoughts appear at just the right moments, a failed project at work, a fashion mishap, a bad grade…no matter the failure, these thoughts are on the ready to dive in to make the problem worse.

So here are some suggestions on how to keep those self-sabotaging thoughts at bay and welcome self-kindness into your routine:

Tip 1: Sometimes we need to just wallow and cry and be alone with our self-sabotaging thoughts. But we should only do so with recognition that we are doing that. If we let these thoughts roam free in our mind, we risk never feeling good about ourselves. Life is short, we simply dont have enough time to be filled with all these painful thoughts.

Tip 2: I call this the tennis racket technique. Its a little silly, but I think its effective. Imagine you are a professional tennis player with a crazy powerful forehand. Every time a self-sabotaging thought floats through, imagine yourself picking up your tennis racket and swinging at the thought with all you got. This thought is not welcome, please go away, whack whack!

Tip 3: When life is hard, maybe you are working on a tough project at work, or you are going through a break up — whatever it is, just decide be kind to yourself. Give yourself permission to treat yourself with kindness, empathy and love. You deserve it!

No matter what is going on in your life, you have the power to control how you experience lifes ups and downs. It wont always be easy, that is for sure, but if you can keep your self-sabotaging thoughts at bay and invite self-kindness into your life, stomaching the pain of everyday life will be more manageable and possibly even enjoyable. After all, life is just a series of ebbs and flows and ups and downs.

Question for the community - What is one thing YOU DO to practice self-kindness!? Share with us in this thread!

42
August 29th, 2017

I do not currently practice self-kindness. I just started saying daily affirmations, which I posted on my mirror. I also need to stop the negative dialogue in my head, directed at myself. For instance, I recently caught myself saying, "and I hate myself a little more each time I..." That is not being kind toward myself, so I know I need to eliminate that kind of talk that's inside my head.

I also need to accept that I'm only human and forgive myself for my flaws.

I have not been able to actually make progress yet, but I have acknowledged these are problems with me, and I have started saying my daily affirmations.

2 replies
User Profile: Laura
Laura OP August 29th, 2017

@SerenitySeeker1

you are just starting your journey. im glad you are here. i agree, flipping that language you say to yourself is a great start. there is no reason to use such harsh words about yourself.

you are stronger than you realize. finding ways to be kind to yourself is a great way to keep your healing journey moving in a postiive direction

User Profile: Jaeteuk
Jaeteuk September 1st, 2017

@SerenitySeeker1

Repeating affirmations and having them stuck on the mirror is a very good technique. I learned it when I went to a Psychodynamic Group Therapy. This was one of the techniques they suggested for us. This is another form of self-care, and it seems you're off to a great start!~

load more
User Profile: promisemehope
promisemehope August 29th, 2017

I color and I do self affirmations and work in my graditude journal every day.

1 reply
User Profile: Laura
Laura OP August 29th, 2017

@promisemehope

wow cool! coloring is fun! i keep a box of markers around too :P

keep up the great work!

load more
User Profile: EllieKB
EllieKB August 29th, 2017

i write in my journal and try to make time to do things i love away from the pressure of work or university

2 replies
User Profile: Laura
Laura OP August 29th, 2017

@EllieKB

jounral writing is a great release. so smart. I also love taking walks !

1 reply
User Profile: EllieKB
EllieKB August 30th, 2017

@Laura

yes! i love going for walks out of the city or in one of the big parks. it helps me feel grounded :)

load more
load more
User Profile: TimeToRise
TimeToRise August 29th, 2017

@Laura I create wood burning artwork. It makes me feel so calm and relaxed.

1 reply
User Profile: Laura
Laura OP August 29th, 2017

@TimeToRise

wow that is really cool! i have never heard of woodburning art work. can you share a picture?

load more
User Profile: rommebai000
rommebai000 March 23rd, 2022

I practice self kindness by noticing accepting and forgetting negative feelings. What do you think @fristo

1 reply
March 23rd, 2022

@rommebai000 I pray.

load more
User Profile: Sherlben
Sherlben November 1st, 2022

Çoloring is a good way to be kind to self