Dealing with Unfairness
In life there are abundant opportunities to recognize injustice on many scales, both large and small, in our own lives and the lives of people we love.
Even though we were all taught about fairness as children, scientists have shown that we are inherently inclined toward it. Research has indicated that when we see fairness, even when it concerns another person, our reward centers become active.
Dwelling on injustice does not make it go away; on the contrary, it hinders our ability to do so because compulsive thinking depletes our energy, intensifies our feelings, and keeps us more preoccupied with issues than with solutions.
“Sometimes it is better to choose to be healthy instead of right.”
Participation question:
What helps you to find peace when you have been treated unfairly?
Helpful Videos:
How To Deal When Life Isn't Fair
How to Stop Getting TRIGGERED Forever
Helpful Resources:
The Neuroscience of Fairness and Injustice
Seeking Help
Mental stress can cause us not to be able to see the good things in life and lead to excessive rumination or worries which can result in serious health problems. If you have serious, long-term problems with negative thinking and feeling depressed, see your doctor or talk to a therapist if they are related to any mental challenges.
Are you looking for a therapist? 7 Cups has online, certified therapists with a paid option. For more information on what happens in online therapy at 7 Cups, Read Lisa’s (a therapist and director of therapy) explanation
https://www.7cups.com/forum/therapy/General_2432/WeveLaunchedTalkTherapyon7Cups_319430/
To apply for 7 Cups online therapy, click on this link (must be logged into member account) https://www.7cups.com/online-therapy/?ob=1
Taglist Updated 6-10-25 @3timesLeo @4Jasmine @adrjust1 @Admirablerainbow2825 @adventureawaits777 @adventurousBranch3786 @Alaskanskies @AlexMbale @allen99 @allnaturalWillow7138 @alysianna @ambitiousGlobe3422 @ambitioushope1234 @ambitiousHickory9113 @amiablePeace77 @Ashy123 @Astralboy @augustine1304 @balderasdavid799 @BeamsOfHope00 @Beepyy @bence2 @bestThinker1986 @BipolarBear1983 @BlackyDragon @blissedNblessed @bluelemon6419 @bobw @bouncyFireworks3811 @blueAcai236 @BPDBadee @Brittanny17 @brightOcean1599 @candybubblegumsprinkles @calmcoral @calmWest327 @CaringSub @CatHanderOutNoah @Catunion @charmaeausty @charliebee1121 @ComfortablePeace2121 @courageouspanda2006 @courageousPomegranate766 @courteousKite6821 @creativeCar5713 @creatingHealthyOutcome @crimsonCoconut1711 @crimsonPapaya @crystalclearnow @cyanVase4070 @CyclingThroughLife @daydreammemories @deborahdebbie @Desmynn6789 @Determinedsquare9605 @DkIfINeedHelpOrSleep @dlynn88911221 @dysfunctionjunction1224 @Echoheart7236 @EllyMerelyn @EmbraceYourWings9340 @emotionalpal710 @emotionalPenguin4374 @empathicPresence9091 @EmpoweringSam @endure777 @energeticThinker6924 @enthusiasticAcai2032 @enthusiasticBeach8170 @enthusiasticTortoise6681 @exuberantStrawberries9544 @FaithMagic @fearlessCup8704 @F1shD0g @FlowerEV777 @FracturedPurple @Fradiga @fruityPond7887 @Genlistener @geribear @Gettingbettertoday @Ghasaq997 @GlitteryHearts @glowingPresence86 @energeticThinker6924@GoldenNest2727 @GothamRam @gregariousField7151 @GreyorFelix @gva1audi @happyness @hardworkingBeechwood6063 @HealingEcho @heartstopper13 @helloPineapple2451 @helpfulDime0407 @Henry2000 @Hereforyouall144 @hopefaith2011 @imaginativepear6493 @ingeniousLove9924 @intuitivepixie1331 @Itzcharlotteg @JanMad87 @Jordan1872 @k87 @Kenn13chan @kevin3108 @kindcircle3085 @kateeew @Kaydeee @kindRiver6 @kohandlen @Kristian1 @kristynsmama @Lauren63 @Leahm9703 @linda19152 @LillyPad12345 @LisaMeighanMBPsS @lostwithouther97 @lovelycoacoa @magneticDreamer6447 @mariah2009 @Marita7391 @meaningfulSilence @meeeeee @meowcat1216 @mia4819 @Mich765 @mindtalk @miraculousTouch2949 @miresama @modestTangerine2193 @MoonMomm @MoreThanJustMe @Mscooper2789 @myloveee3 @mytwistedsoul @navyAcres6073 @neonKiwi9963 @nessa104 @NotAllHere713 @oa4me @oakley958 @Oceansky93 @OneErased @onkia122 @orangypie @pamharley003 @paperBird3348 @patientwater @peacefulRainbow05 @peachyOctopus9691 @PhilosophicalModel @PiecesOfWhoeverIWas @pinkpolkadots @PinkTriangle133 @pioneeringHuman7775 @politeGrapefruit179 @pompom @PurpleHearts7 @purpletree4652 @Pvoigt @Qoqnus @QueerChaos259 @rachelkb123 @raddogme @Rainboho @Randumuser1 @redirecting @reguna reservedOwl6476@fighton @reservedPark4029 @resilience2025 @RMaunil @Rod88 @RogueOne1983 @RowanRawrs0512 @Salvatore123 @sandie @Scarletpear1945 @ShapeshiftSystem @SilverSeastar @SleepingFoxAkari @slothgurl17 @SnaryPoppins07 @softParadise1540 @soulsings @SparklyFly @sorrowedbunny1256 @SpongeBob2021 @Squidward @StarGaze10o01 @StarryCandy6123 @stephbrent @SugareeIsMe091121 @summerkay2024 @tallWalker4850 @TealPhotog @ThadSterling @theroadisbright @thesoda @thoughtsbubbleexpress @ThoughtfulMomma @tifecandy @tinywhisper11 @tiredbubble00 @tjitalia @toughLand5970 @treefrog1234 @trueconfidant123 @txrmentedSxul @UniversalSmile @UrsaMayor @warmheart0890 @WentToBruv @waves @WorriedMagpie @WorkingitThrough2 @yellowNectarine9265 @YellowTiger5674 @yzzil @zeffa @Zeraphim @Zsazsa524
It seems that what causes unnatural anger is the feeling of unfairness. But focusing on the unfairness doesn’t help and we just feel like a victim and this makes us feel angry. It seems that we need to be aware of our own value and do things that make us feel like we are living a meaningful life. Good rest also helps because we feel better physically and mentally and are able to see a situation with more clarity and stay calmer and be more deliberate and not so impulsive. Taking deep breaths and meditation can help to stay calm and regulated. Feeling connected to others can also help us to feel happier and more relaxed.
@azureAcres1605
Good point about victimizing ourselves when focusing on unfairness. I love the breathing exercises, it really helps to calm and regulate!
@amiablePeace77
I walk away and let it go.
@purpleTree4652
Sometimes the best we can do!
@amiablePeace77
Well straight up, firstly I plot my revenge 😁 and after a couple of hours of allowing myself to simmer down, I acknowledge my feelings, I acknowledge the unfairness, I don't dismiss my feelings but work through them, stand up if I need to or walk away, depending on the outcome that facilitates me moving on quicker 💜🥰
@Amanda84
Seems you're dealing with unfairness in a healthy manner. Glad you're not putting your revenge into action! 😉