Silence your inner critics

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@amiablePeace77

My inner critic is not active all the time. It waits until moments of weakness to attack.

What makes you feel good about yourself?

Accomplishments. Not just things like putting away my socks. For something to be an accomplishment there needs to be a challenge to overcome and the results must be intentional. 

@amiablePeace77

What makes you feel good about yourself? tech

@amiablePeace77  how you feel with inner voices. Well like this😁.....

@amiablePeace77 I am not sure I can silence my inner critic but I can let them stay in the reading room and hopefully I can ignore them and they will educate themselves by reading good books. 

@amiablePeace77

What kind of questions can you ask yourself if your inner critic is hostile towards you? Example “Which inner critic is speaking to me right now? What narrative are they pushing?”

Truth is I’ve had and still have so many critics and people who judge me and are hostile towards me that I’ve never had an inner critic. That’s bc I’ve worked hard to be best friends with my inner self rather than let “him” be critical and hostile of me as a result of never having any friends. Not outside places like this anyway. It all paid off bc not only am I my best friend but it’s allowed me to accept myself as I am even if no one else does. My inner self has always told me how proud he is of me. He’s always pushed the positive narrative and everything associated with positivity like peace, kindness, happiness, and everything else that’s positive. 

What makes you feel good about yourself?

@amiablePeace77 I feel most of the damaging thoughts or ideas are the ones we've heard from some not so kind people, so it helps to seperate our own thoughts from those of others that feels like our own cause of how much we have ruminated over them. 

@amiablePeace77

Hi Ami! 😊 ❤️ 

Many thanks for your amazing forum post! It certainly did cause me pause and it feels good to spend time here with all of you today! 

One of the things that I have asked my own inner critic/self in the past has been...."Self, who is this big scary boss that you are working for? Who is it that is requiring you to rush through life, through tasks, to work faster, to work harder and not allowing you to hold space for yourself while you hold it for others? Who is this that is requiring perfection of you"? 

Well, interestingly enough, in the end, the big scary boss turned out to be me all along! For me it was a break through moment to come to that level of self awareness. *high fives* 😊 to self! I truly earned that one! 

Life has been so much better after "silencing" that inner critic/big scary boss a bit. While I'm still highly agreeable and highly conscientious (know thy self), I take things at a much slower pace.

I employ mindfulness practices now with things that I do. I have really enjoyed slowing it down and being in the moment of all things. Things still get done, but just at my pace and things feel much more rewarding this way, even the most (what others would consider to be) mundane of tasks. 

While I still have certain expectations of myself, I also give myself a break. I'm much more kind to myself and in the way that I am to others. I deserve kindness too! 😊

I laugh much more at myself. I don't take myself too seriously, I know my limitations, I try hard and I care. For me, it needs to be good enough. It's all that I require of others so why wouldn't the same rules apply to me? If I know that I'm doing my personal best then I sleep well at night. 

One of my favorite things that I tell myself and often is that even Einstein only had 24 hours in a day to work with. He still left many of his works unfinished and I truly am no Einstein! 

Also in my journey in life, I came to the realization that the voice of the inner critic many times wasn't my voice at all. It's not mine, just some remnant of the past, the voice of another. The voice of another that never had my best interests at heart.

We can remove those types of incredibly toxic and abusive people from our lives geographically (which is a feat in and of itself) only to figure out that where they left off, we picked it all back up and started to do their "dirty work" for them, on their behalf. That truly is allowing them to live "rent free in our minds". Foolish to reach for some level of perfection when the one that planted that seed, that voice in us is so incredibly sub par. 

It's great to move on, give another the mental "eviction notice", to heal, to grow and to find joy in life, even in the small things. ❤️

*high fives* 😊 and *hugs* ❤️

@amiablePeace77 

There was a time that I didn't have an inner critic. A time when I did what I wanted to just to prove the critics around me wrong. I'm not sure when my inner critic appeared, but it never leaves me alone. My inner critic is most active when I remember the past and when a person close to me denigrates me, which is frequently. My inner critic blocks me from looking for a new job by giving me anxiety regarding my experience or lack thereof. I have a therapist and we are trying to work on my self-esteem, but its a long process. 

@amiablePeace77

What kind of questions can you ask yourself if your inner critic is hostile towards you? Example “Which inner critic is speaking to me right now? What narrative are they pushing?”

The narratives they are pushing are:

I can't do this.(pessimistic)

I need to get things done the right way. And they need to be perfect.( the perfectionist)

These are some of the negative thoughts that come to mind. 

These thought can be replaced be positive ones. Such as the following:

It's okay not to be okay.

It's okay if things don't the way I had planned. It's not the end of the world. I still have a second chance.

I can do this. 

What makes you feel good about yourself?

-Completing my daily tasks. It makes me think that I am capable of doing things. As a result it makes me feel good about myself.

- Journaling- It helps me relieve myself from stressful thoughts. I also like to say some positive affirmations over myself. These techniques help me think clearly.

- Planning my day ahead keeps me focused and on track.