Depression, addictions and self harm
Not sure if someone will even care about this.. but lately I feel I can’t handle it anymore. I had a very difficult childhood and teenage where I was constantly bullied, depressed, abused… I started finding my copy mechanisms on the streets: weed, drugs, alcohol and abusive sex. I just wanted to feel loved and respected. When I entered my 20s I moved out my hometown and life started getting slightly better over the years. When I finished uni I started a business that lasted 2 years, but now it failed, I’m in my late 20s and I’m feeling worse than ever. I didn’t cultivate my relationships enough for the past 2 years because I was solely focused on my career and now I’m also lonely, addicted and depressed.
@Hedylamarr@Hedylamarr Hello Hedy, and welcome to the forums. I've just responded to your other post on addiction, but wanted to weigh in here as you've expanded on the difficulties you're facing right now. It sounds as though your childhood and adolescence were exceptionally tough, and you subsequently recreated those abusive patterns into adulthood. I've said on here previously: despite how stuck and entrenched you might be feeling, if you've made it as far as posting on 7cups, at some level you're aware things can be better. Reaching out is the first step. Speaking of reaching out, there's a saying "the opposite of addiction is connection". Are you able to reconnect with some former friends, with whom you lost contact as you set up your business? Have you looked into support groups? If you were able to build and maintain a successful business for two years (not an easy task, ever) can you harness some of that drive and focus into building a new support network and doing the necessary work on yourself? I've linked below to a number of resources that might help, Hedy: our self help guides cover addiction, depression and loneliness. There are also growth paths related to depression - which looks and self care and connection in more detail - and the transforming trauma growth path, which considers the impact of traumatic/abusive experiences and how to grow from these. Thank you again for joining us; I'm hoping you find the support and help you're looking for here. Sending you my best wishes, Demi.
https://www.7cups.com/self-help/
https://www.7cups.com/path/playlist/dealing-with-depression-on-a-day-to-day-basis/
https://www.7cups.com/path/playlist/transforming-trauma/
Hey Demi! Thanks a lot for your motivating reply. Today I’m feeling tired since yesterday I took 7 anxiety pills. So I wont extended myself too much as I can barely see the phone. Everyone is talking about these support grupes. I think that’d really help me, as I have no friends at the moment ans I tried to reach out but they have their lives now and o just don’t fit in there. How can I find these support grips you’re all talking about ? I’m based in Spain
@Hedylamarr Thanks for replying Hedy; the groups everyone has mentioned so far are:
https://www.aa.org/ (Their website is also available in spanish)
https://na.org/ (Narcotics anonymous. Both of the above will have meetings near you as well as online options.
For general connections/local interest groups - Meet up España:
https://www.meetup.com/es-ES/?msockid=1d1a07271b4b6d422fc314501a866c9c
Hope this helps to get you off the blocks Hedy.
@DemiMondaine the link below is for depression support groups in Spain:
https://fundacionhumanae.org/alianza-antidepresion/
@Hedylamarr I hope things will get better for you 🤍 And everything starts to feel lighter🍀 Sending lots of love towards you! 🐾❤️
Thank you 😭
If you’ve never tried going to one of those meetings where people get together and talk about their addictions and help each other find solutions, I highly recommend them. I’ve been in substance abuse recovery for most of the 21st century, and have managed to stay clean and sober (alcohol is my main, but not only addiction) for 17 years in a row. That’s made all the other stuff so much easier to handle and survive. They have religious-based groups, spiritual-but-not-religious groups, and atheist and agnostic groups out there. Check online. Even if you’ve tried before and had bad experiences, different groups and fellowships have way different results. In the mean time, keep reaching out for help any way you can, and don’t be so hard on yourself.
I’m checking online but can’t seem to find or apply for anything. Any keyword tips?
Congrats on you staying sober! That’s such an achievement and surely gives me some motivation to keep trying!! Thank you
@Hedylamarr Hey there, it sounds like you’ve been going through a really rough time. It makes total sense that you would be feeling down when you had a tough time growing up and that your business failed (kudos by the way for even starting a business, that takes guts and vision) and you feel you don’t have any close relationships. I want to thank you for sharing this and opening up about how you’re feeling. I also want to let you know that no matter how bad things have been, they can always get better. You’ve still got plenty of time left to live and any time is a great time to keep your head up and try again. I hope you can get some help to help you deal with your substance use and depression (if that is something you’re interested in), whether professionally or just from people around you. Have you considered going to any AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) or NA (Narcotics Anonymous) meetings, or any sort of support groups like those? Those might be helpful. Regardless of what you choose to do, I’m sending you lots of love and well wishes. 💓💓💓
Thanks! Yes, it’s tough, especially because I’m alone and because I feel thisb version of me who built a successful business has completely died and never will come back. I’m 28 now and I feel sad, old, ugly and wrinkly. I’m not even doing sports, which In used to love. Anyways. Everyone is talking of these supports grupos I had no idea about. Could you maybe share some if you know?
@Hedylamarr Here is a link to find AA groups near you: https://www.aa.org/find-aa. Just select the country you're in. On the next page, you can scroll down to the bottom to see a whole bunch of AA groups in that area. Here is also a link to find NA meetings near you: https://na.org/meetingsearch/. You could also try searching up "AA (or NA) meetings near me" or wherever you're located.
Also.. It's okay if you're feeling like you've lost some good parts of yourself. Even if it feels like the present is worse than the past, remember that the future could be better than the present. I'm sure you can find (or create) wonderful things in your life and in yourself that will make life worth living. I'd encourage you to practice some self-love or try some things that you have even the slightest interest in. You might come upon something that reminds you of the joy that can be found in living. Anyway, I'm glad you're here with us no matter what you're going through. Don't give up! 💕
Hey Hedy,
Though we may be strangers who may or may not have walked passed each other in person, we do care. Also, I agree with the suggestions other have made about finding group meetings to go to that can help. Of course those of use on 7cups will be here for ya too. Please remember you're not alone & many know exactly how you're feeling right now. You got this friend. I mean this with love, God Bless.
You are so sweet! Thanks a lot 𥹠I really appreciate your love and support! Means the world right now
I try. ð©µð©µð©µ
Though it feels like you did nothing but you survived you survived plenty of bad stuff before you will this time too just take the time to cherish that you made it till now despite all the hardships i wish you heal soon sending you lots of love and hugs 🤍🤍🤍🫂
@Hedylamarr I can understand how difficult it must be to deal with some days when you relive those memories. It is not wrong to focus on one's career so try not to blame yourself dear. I am sure part of you feels good that you gave it all for your career. With respect to personal relationships, it is never late for that. We all are on different timelines, some people find their soulmates at 16-17 while some people stay in unhappy relationships till 40-50-60 only to find true love in the later part of their lives..
