I blocked my best friend for subconcious reasons
Hi everyone:
After getting together with my best friend last Friday and Saturday, I decided it was time to end things with her on Sunday. At the time, I felt that while she is a lovely person, we just were not going to be compatible. However, I didn't know what to say so I blocked her.
Then a few days later, while talking about it on 7Cups, I realized that I had looked at her and last Friday and Saturday with rose colored glasses. Then it dawned on me that she that she was not the lovely person that I thought she was. During her last visit, for instance, I saw a whole new side of her.
- She managed to invite herself over to my home
- She had concept of my boundaries and did several things without my permission
- She was rude, bossy, and demanding
- She did not really provide me a set time that she was leaving.
@Summershy
It's hard to see such a negative side of someone you believe is a lovely person. I am sorry you had to experience this.
@amiablePeace77
I am really sad that I had to block her because I love her. However, I felt like her behavior this last time was really bizarre and controlling. For instance, she kept wearing a pair of slides around my house while we were home. Then she also asked me for a pair of my socks because she supposedly had a hole in her own.
I also saw some other toxic patterns that reminded me of another close relationship that fell apart.
@amiablePeace77
By the way, I have update about her on another recent post. Not only was she was wrong friend but she also just showed me that she's fake as well.
@Summershy
It's a hard lesson to find out your friend is fake, but you did right in distancing yourself from her!
@amiablePeace77
Thanks because I am learning that she's not only fake but vindictive as well.
@Summershy sometimes blocking people is hard but sometimes its also necessary, we will not be everyone's cup of tea and that's fine 💜🥰
@Amanda84
Thanks for your support because I just learned that she is a fake friend who also have the tendency to be vindictive.
@Summershy you are more than welcome 💜🥰
@Summershy I've blocked a lot of people. Because they're bossy to the point of making you feel harassed. Don't be guilty. You have to protect your energy.
@Creamyyy
Blocking isn't a right thing people are already silently struggling in their lives:(
@ivoryNectarine6904 some are the cause of others suffering as well!
@ivoryNectarine6904 you make an important point here, no one wants to isolate people or make them feel worse but when you give them a chance and they are still disrespectful then sometimes blocking them needs to be done for your peace of mind. For example on here, listeners don't like to block members, but they have no choice when they are rude, harassing or abusive and sadly this is quite common behaviour on here 💜
Have you tried to tell her your boundaries and talk to her and set the house rules or your rules for your room.
@Jayswifey
No I never did. Honestly, I did not think I had to because I thought she was mature enough to realize that I had boundaries. Even so, I decided to cut her off for other reasons feeling that we just were not compatible
@Summershy. Sounds like this has been a pretty eye-opening and emotionally layered experience for you. It's ok to need some space and clarity after something like this, especially when you realize a person you cared about may not have been showing up in the way you needed or expected.
Blocking someone can come from a place of self-protection, even if it feels abrupt.
For now, I hope you can be gentle with yourself. You did what you needed to regain peace.
@cwhite191
You hit the eye opening part right on the head because I did not realize that she had a problem with boundaries. After doing so much thinking, I do recall her stepping over my boundaries other times by getting hold of my salsa and eating it up without acknowleding that I paid for it.
She was also very controlling where she kept hinting together as roommates. However, I don't think that would have worked out.
@Summershy
Blocking is not a solution, people are already struggling a lot in their lives, hiding silent pain that world can't understand
@ivoryNectarine6904
What do you suggest then? This person doesn't respect my boundaries
