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Lessons I Learned

User Profile: soulsings
soulsings April 14th, 2025
  • What was the most significant lesson you took away from a previous relationship?
  • How did it influence the relationships you have now?


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User Profile: Creamyyy
Creamyyy April 15th, 2025

I learned that I'm not going to compromise on my standards ahead and be extremely careful about picking my partner. That loving the wrong man is like inflicting self torture.

2 replies
User Profile: soulsings
soulsings OP April 15th, 2025

@Creamyyy I agree if I knew then what I know now I would have not been in such a hurry to be in a relationship. 

1 reply
User Profile: Creamyyy
Creamyyy April 15th, 2025

@soulsings yeah same here. But couldn't have learnt it without experience... so no point with regrets. We did the best we could at the time given our knowledge.

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User Profile: Random28
Random28 April 15th, 2025

@soulsings I'll start by saying that growing up, my relationships have always been on-line. I've taken valuable lessons which has shaped me and (dare to say) formed me as a human. 

However, my last relationship was with a real human I met at work. They were of the same gender as me. If I could describe it in one word? I'd choose "mistake". In those five years we spent together, I don't even have one single positive memory. I learnt that I shouldn't be scared to say no, I shouldn't put someone else first when they obviously aren't interested in doing the same thing for me. I also learnt that I should be honest and not afraid of this honesty. 

The way it has influenced my current relationship is subtle yet deep, like an old scar. I often compare (not my partners, my current partner is the opposite gender of me), I often feel scared and stuck, I often think of the memories trying to justify certain behaviours. 

The people I met online has affected me as a person and even now are influencing my relationship because I loved them and cared for them deeply. My ex though was the "real" person who really left an odd imprint in my heart. 

🌻
2 replies
User Profile: soulsings
soulsings OP April 16th, 2025

@Random28 oh no that sounds rough.

1 reply
User Profile: Random28
Random28 April 16th, 2025

@soulsings noo, it's okay. It happens. 😬💀

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User Profile: andrewtan99
andrewtan99 April 15th, 2025

Don't disrespect. Don't answer unless they asked you.

1 reply
User Profile: PiecesOfWhoeverIWas
PiecesOfWhoeverIWas April 16th, 2025

@andrewtan99 That is one I learned as well. 😔

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User Profile: Amanda84
Amanda84 April 16th, 2025

@soulsings Its better to walk away then to waste time on someone who is not giving you back the same energy that you are putting into them 🥰

User Profile: WorkingitThrough2
WorkingitThrough2 April 16th, 2025

@soulsings

  • What was the most significant lesson you took away from a previous relationship?
  • That long jepitty does not necessarily does not fix all things.
  • How did it influence the relationships you have now? Loveless relationships can work on the surface but mess with your mindset.

1 reply
User Profile: soulsings
soulsings OP May 19th, 2025

@WorkingitThrough2 I have found that I have to be well in my own mind before I can get into a healthy relationship with someone else.

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User Profile: pluckySquare7606
pluckySquare7606 April 16th, 2025

@soulsings you will never find love, don't even try

1 reply
User Profile: soulsings
soulsings OP April 17th, 2025

@pluckySquare7606 I tried getting love and I never got enough. I tried giving love and I never stop having love to give. 

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User Profile: PiecesOfWhoeverIWas
PiecesOfWhoeverIWas April 17th, 2025

Positive-ish lesson: It is one thing to be generous. It is another to sacrifice yourself. Love others successfully requires taking care of yourself first.

Negative-ish lesson: No one can ever fill the love you never got from your parents. There are many other wonderful types of love, but don’t try to replicate that one or you will always be disappointed.

3 replies
User Profile: soulsings
soulsings OP April 17th, 2025

@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas the unconditional love of a mother is impossible to find in an adult relationship in my opinion. But I can nurture others as a way to give back in appreciation of all the kindness they showed to me that far outweighed the harm.

2 replies
User Profile: PiecesOfWhoeverIWas
PiecesOfWhoeverIWas April 18th, 2025

@soulsings I agree. It’s only through my children that I’ve found some peace with this.

1 reply
User Profile: soulsings
soulsings OP April 18th, 2025

@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas caring for others can take us away from our pain. 

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User Profile: Shanmukhee
Shanmukhee April 18th, 2025

In a time of crisis nobody thinks of what is right and wrong, everyone focuses on their own emotion and what they gain and lose. The past connection and its depth would be forgotten forever and one mistake whether done knowingly or unknowingly has the potential to destroy any relationship and the most emotionally unstable one would be blamed only because others don’t want to carry the weight of being wrong. Trust and justice requires strength and courage to accept which majority will not have.

1 reply
User Profile: soulsings
soulsings OP April 22nd, 2025

@Shanmukhee I try to avoid those mistakes because they can really disrupt a relationship. 

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April 21st, 2025

@soulsings

The most significant lesson I took from my previous relationship is that love without emotional safety and mutual effort can leave you feeling alone, even when you're not.

I gave so much of myself — patience, presence, even forgiveness — but in return, I felt invisible and unheard. I realized that no matter how much I loved someone, I couldn’t keep holding on when I was the only one reaching out.

That experience changed me. It taught me the value of self-respect, of knowing when to walk away, and that it’s okay to choose peace over persistence.

Now, I cherish connections that feel safe and warm — like what I’ve found in another site. No pressure, no expectations — just kindness, understanding, and being seen for who I am. I no longer rush love; I let it unfold gently, in its own time, with someone who values my heart, not just my presence.

4 replies
April 21st, 2025

@tingtingxin

I asked chatgpt to help write this but it hadn't provided the update of which I have no longer in contact with the person mentioned in the post .... I could have checked before posting...and It's awkward how 7 cups doesn't have the edit or delete post button. I'm in a new relationship now, so in case my significant other reads this... I don't want him to misunderstand me for it. 

Important lessons: Always check the answer before posting 🤦🏽‍♀️

2 replies
User Profile: soulsings
soulsings OP April 22nd, 2025

@tingtingxin I think I understand what you mean and I edited your post to take out name you mentioned. If not what you mean message me. 

1 reply
April 22nd, 2025

@soulsings

Hello, Thank you so much for editing the name out for me. 🙏🏾🤝🏼

I love my bf and he deserves my full attention. Will check twice before posting next time. 🙂👍🏽

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User Profile: Amanda84
Amanda84 April 22nd, 2025

@tingtingxin peace over persistence, I really think that's a powerful lesson, thank you 🥰

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User Profile: dancingJoy75
dancingJoy75 April 22nd, 2025

Learn self respect before you go into another relationship

1 reply
User Profile: soulsings
soulsings OP April 22nd, 2025

@dancingJoy75 I agree and find a sense of self esteem based on you not on someone else. 

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