Lost

Bro, I’m in my 30s and I STILL don’t know what on earth I’m doing XD

I ABSOLUTELY know what I am doing. I understand that I created my own reality and experience from my choices of how I choose to feel and think. The universe always responds to how I feel and vibrate not what I say. I get everything I want because the universe is always on my side. Everything is always working out for me.

I’m in my late 20s and I can say for certain, I and a lot of people I’m friends with feel the same. In fact, people who are twice my age still say the same thing. In my opinion, life is a journey in which your path and interests and perception of your self is ever changing. There’s no checkpoint where you suddenly feel “truly happy”, or “completely content”, as the stressors of life will always be there. When one issue disappears, another arises. I think searching for happiness may be a flawed endeavour.. I think we should do our best to learn to manage adversity, embrace joy, peace, balance and pain on this journey. As the ancient proverb, which the famous Stoic Philosopher Seneca once reiterated, goes: “as long as you live, keep learning how to live”.

i realized at some point that people are just winging it. They are good at looking like they got it under control but I believe some people are just making themselves look like they know the process (for me at least) like deep down they don't know the process but they're not making it obvious

@wisteria28 mid 20s here, we are all just kids with existencial crisis and back pain in a trench coat, bsing our way through life. Most of us has absolutely no idea what are we even doing.

Honestly, I never had such a bad time as I do now, as the reality of time weights in. What you feel is completely valid. But you are not alone. 19 is still incredibly young and I would pay to be 19 again and have a little more time. It's okay to be confused and scared about your options.

What I would do differently if I travelled back in time to my 19s:

- not going to uni and just getting a job instead - some people need it, like lawyers, doctors, engineers, architects etc, but the truth is, for most of us it is a waste of time (and money if you have to pay for it). It just eats up your time, drains you, and spits you out all while people who didn't go to uni are happier, healthier and often have a major advantage in the workforce because they accumulated real experience while others just cried over assignments. So would say think about your options, if you have any dream career and if it really needs uni education. (Also beware of the trap I fell into of following an older dream, going to uni just because it's the next logical step, or going because you don't know what to do next) If it turns out you need the degree and you have to pay for it, make sure to make smart financial choices, if you get into debt now, you tie yourself down for ages. You can always get the degree later, but you can't get back the time you have to gain advantage

- assess what your needs are at the moment. If you are one of the burnt out gifted kids for example, or you have any mental or physical health issues, make sure to address that first. Slow down and take a recharge break, with just a small part time job for example if you can that is easy on you and meets your needs (for example if you are burnt out I recommend stuff that won't follow you home, like a small book store for example, where you finish your work and done)

- get real life skills and learn independence if you haven't yet. This includes anything from getting in the habit of doing basic chores to learning to make the hard family recipes

- INVEST. Immediately. Don't overthink it. Just grab 2 basic funds through your bank or however it is done where you are from (one high risk high reward, one mid risk mid reward, or whatever the said equivalent of it is in your country). Set up automatic investments to go out every month and then forget about it completely (except if you feel like putting in a bit more ocassionally). Don't get spooked by market crashes, time in the market beats timing, and as everything keeps getting more expensive, it will eventually get itself back together. So just ignore the lows and sit it out. The key thing is starting to invest early, because the interest will accumulate.

- if you live with your parents, save up as much as you can 

You got this!

I lost my brother ( right after hs ) I also was on bedrest for health reasons. Nothing prepared us for life's hardships and challenges. Your not alone if you feel like adulthood is jumping out of a buring building. Or even lost. Your not alone.

I have been in same situation in my teens too honestly just do what u want to do now I know it may sound like bad decision but once u join in workforce doing ur fav things are almost impossible.Deadlines,over times ,office politics ,crippling loneliness and also make some friends in ur still in clg they may or may not be much use atleast you will have someone to rely up on sometimes bcos once u r adult Real friendships are rare as diamonds .At the end of the day choose ur decisions carefully they can become ur destinyBest or luck

@wisteria28 You're definitely not alone in feeling this way.

When I was 19, I also thought adulthood meant having everything figured out, but the truth is most of us spend our 20s and even our 30s still trying to understand who we are and what we want.

That confusion doesn't mean you're on the wrong path. It just means you're human and still growing.

I'm older now, and I can tell you honestly that very few people "know what they're doing." Most of us are learning as we go, adjusting, stumbling, and trying again.

Happiness isn't something you suddenly arrive at; it's something you build slowly through small choices, small moments, and being kind to yourself along the way.

You don't need all the answers right now. You just need the courage to take the next small step and let yourself evolve.