Managing difficult people during the holiday season
It can be tough to deal with people who feel difficult to us, and many struggle to properly communicate, set limits, or control their emotions. Since it's not always possible to get out of the situation, it's critical to identify these difficulties and find strategies to handle them.
You can’t reason with an unreasonable person, but there are proven techniques to better manage dicey situations.
Here are some suggestions:
Listen carefully to what someone says and avoid adding any story to it
Speak softly, avoid any aggressive tones
Be mindful of your body language, avoid inappropriate smiling
Stay calm, use deep breathing techniques if you feel anger arising
Do not return anger with anger
Try your best to understand what the person is really trying to say
Do not mentally prepare a counterargument
Know when to disengage by leaving the conversation by saying something like “Let’s talk about this later when we’re calm,” * and move on.
Participation question:
What makes a person feel difficult or unreasonable to you?
Do you have any strategies to deal with them? What do they look like?
Helpful Videos:
Stoicism ▶ Dealing with Toxic People
Helpful Resources:
20 Expert Tactics for Dealing With Difficult People
* 5 Ways to deal with angry people
Seeking Help
Mental stress can cause us not to be able to see the good things in life and lead to excessive rumination or worries which can result in serious health problems. If you have serious, long-term problems with negative thinking and feeling depressed, see your doctor or talk to a therapist if they are related to any mental challenges.
Are you looking for a therapist? 7 Cups has online, certified therapists with a paid option. For more information on what happens in online therapy at 7 Cups, Read Lisa’s (a therapist and director of therapy) explanation
https://www.7cups.com/forum/therapy/General_2432/WeveLaunchedTalkTherapyon7Cups_319430/
To apply for 7 Cups online therapy, click on this link (must be logged into member account) https://www.7cups.com/online-therapy/?ob=1
Taglist to thread 7cups online therapy community Dec. 17, 2025
Taglist Updated 12-16-25 @3timesLeo @4Jasmine @abbylov3s @adrjust1 @Admirablerainbow2825 @adventureawaits777 @adventurousBranch3786 @Alaskanskies @AlexMbale @allen99 @allnaturalWillow7138 @alysianna @ambitiousGlobe3422 @ambitioushope1234 @ambitiousHickory9113 @amiablePeace77 @Ashy123 @Astralboy @augustine1304 @balderasdavid799 @BeamsOfHope00 @Beepyy @belongtothesun @bence2 @bestSugar5181 @bestThinker1986 @BipolarBear1983 @BlackyDragon @blissedNblessed @bluelemon6419 @bobw @bouncyFireworks3811 @blueAcai236 @BPDBadee @Brittanny17 @brightOcean1599 @candybubblegumsprinkles @calmcoral @calmWest327 @CaringSub @CatHanderOutNoah @Catunion @charmaeausty @charmingSky5972@charliebee1121 @ComfortablePeace2121 @courageouspanda2006 @courageousPomegranate766 @courteousKite6821 @creativeCar5713 @creatingHealthyOutcome @crimsonCoconut1711 @crimsonPapaya @crystalclearnow @cyanVase4070 @CyclingThroughLife @DarkWolfy04 @daydreammemories @deborahdebbie@Desmynn6789 @Determinedsquare9605 @DkIfINeedHelpOrSleep @dlynn88911221 @dysfunctionjunction1224 @Echoheart7236 @EllyMerelyn @EmbraceYourWings9340 @emotionalpal710 @emotionalPenguin4374 @empathicPresence9091 @EmpoweringSam @Empress02 @endure777 @energeticThinker6924 @enthusiasticAcai2032 @enthusiasticBeach8170 @enthusiasticTortoise6681 @eternalHero77 @exuberantStrawberries9544 @eyeofthetigerrr @FaithfulScout @FaithMagic @fearlessCup8704 @F1shD0g @FlowerEV777 @FracturedPurple @Fradiga @fruityPond7887 @gentleCandy7153 @Genlistener @geribear @Gettingbettertoday @Ghasaq997 @GlitteryHearts @glowingPresence86 @energeticThinker6924@GoldenNest2727 @GothamRam @gregariousField7151 @GreyorFelix @gva1audi @happyness @hardworkingBeechwood6063 @HealingEcho @heartstopper13 @helloPineapple2451 @helpfulDime0407 @Henry2000 @Hereforyouall144 @holdingspace85 @hopefaith2011 @imaginativepear6493 @ingeniousLove9924 @intuitivepixie1331 @Itzcharlotteg @JanMad87 @Jordan1872 @k87 @Kenn13chan @kevin3108 @kindcircle3085 @kateeew@Katty719 @Kaydeee @kindRiver6 @kohandlen @Kristian1 @kristynsmama @Lauren63 @Leahm9703 @linda19152 @LillyPad12345 @LisaMeighanMBPsS @listeningcariad @lostwithouther97 @lovelycoacoa @magneticDreamer6447 @mariah2009 @Marita7391 @meaningfulSilence @meeeeee @memyselfandmoth @meowcat1216 @mia4819 @Mich765 @mindtalk @miraculousTouch2949 @miresama @Mishka1599 @modestTangerine2193 @Moonlight52 @MoonMomm @MoreThanJustMe @Mscooper2789 @myloveee3 @mytwistedsoul @naturebeauty1234 @navyAcres6073 @neonKiwi9963 @nessa104 @NotAllHere713 @oa4me @oakley958 @Oceansky93 @oliveSquare2976 @OneErased @onkia122 @openocean @orangypie @pamharley003 @paperBird3348 @patientwater @peacefulRainbow05 @peachThinker662 @peachyOctopus9691 @PhilosophicalModel @PiecesOfWhoeverIWas @pinkpolkadots @PinkTriangle133 @pioneeringHuman7775 @polar @politeGrapefruit179 @pompom @PurpleHearts7 @purpletree4652 @Pvoigt @Qoqnus @QueerChaos259 @QuietLightning @rachelkb123 @raddogme @Rainboho @Randumuser1 @redirecting @reguna reservedOwl6476@fighton @reservedPark4029 @resilience2025 @RMaunil @Rod88 @RogueOne1983 @RowanRawrs0512 @Ry @Salvatore123 @sandie @Scarletpear1945 @ShapeshiftSystem @SilverSeastar @SleepingFoxAkari @slothgurl17 @SnaryPoppins07 @softParadise1540 @soulsings @SparklyFly @sorrowedbunny1256 @SpongeBob2021 @Squidward @StarGaze10o01 @StarryCandy6123 @stephbrent @SugareeIsMe091121 @summerkay2024 @sunnywaters6321 @tallWalker4850 @TealPhotog @ThadSterling @theroadisbright @thesoda @thoughtsbubbleexpress @ThoughtfulMomma @tifecandy @tinywhisper11 @tiredbubble00 @tjitalia @toughLand5970 @tranquilEnergy77 @treefrog1234 @trueconfidant123@tryinglittleaudrey @txrmentedSxul @UniversalSmile @UrsaMayor @warmheart0890 @WentToBruv @waves @WorriedMagpie @WorkingitThrough2 @yellowNectarine9265 @YellowTiger5674 @yzzil @zeffa @Zeraphim @Zsazsa524
@amiablePeace77 Sometimes I wonder if I’ve been dealing with difficult people or I am the difficult person. I recognize many of these things in others, but also some in myself. I think I’m a kind and patient person, but there have been times I feel pushed too much/far and I’ve ended up blowing up on them, using bad language when I feel my normal words are meaningless. I recognize advice from this list as things that help me deal with others but also things that help with myself. It’s so shameful, I hope I can let go of my anger and resentment. This never used to be me.
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas
I'm glad that you find this post helpful and hope you can forgive yourself for what you feel needs forgiving. Something I try to remind myself of is that some people never know when to stop pushing but I can learn to stop listening to them.
@amiablePeace77
Alcohol can make it hard to be around people at this time.
So I like to just accept the invitations that make me happy and comfortable.
And limit my time when necessary 💚
And do what I can.
Not pressure myself to make everything perfect 💚
@Amanda84
Setting limits and not pressuring yourself sounds healthy!
Thank you for posting
@amiablePeace77
What makes a person feel difficult or unreasonable to you?
When our thought processes are afar and I'm made to feel uncomfortable through constant corrections in my approach.
Do you have any strategies to deal with them? What do they look like?
I usually keep my calm and try to be accomodating. I attempt to meet their expectations but if my approach is constantly criticised, I take a step back.
@trueconfidant123
When we try our very best and it does not resonate with others taking a step back can be a wise thing to do.
@amiablePeace77
It has to be pretty extreme before I have such feelings and if I know that person well, I might also know of their difficulties. The matter is also different if that person is an equal, a superior or a subordinate, and how often you have to deal with them.
If the situation is out of my control, there is little I can do. However, I have once gone to the police station to make a report (NOT a complaint) about someone who was giving me trouble, and was both difficult and unreasonable. It turned out that there was already reports about her behaviour, which was not surprising. I just wanted to give notice, in case there was an escalation.
Some people can't help thinking that if anything wrong happens, it has to be because someone else willed it so. They have the whole thing already figured out and will take justice in their own hands and take some sort of revenge on a very innocent (and surprised!) person. It is very difficult to discuss those situations with these people and if it is impossible to make them "see the light", one is better off minimizing any interaction and keeping any necessary conversations neutral.
What makes a person feel difficult or unreasonable to you?
Do you have any strategies to deal with them? What do they look like?
@Fradiga
Minimizing any interaction and keeping any necessary conversations neutral is a good way to go to prevent more challenges in the interaction.
Good idea to report with the police, just in case! 👍