Mistake or Lesson?

@soulsings

To never do it again😊

@soulsings

• What did you learn from your biggest mistakes?

I think the most important thing I learned is that I can get myself through most challenges but that it's okay to ask for help sometimes what can make it much easier.

@soulsings

Never trust Anyone and never share your whole life story with anyone.

Ok so I just posted about 2nd husband and I do not consider him a mistake.

He was my rock bottom. I had been raised severe childhood abuse and when you are raised being abused, you do not know how to choose people and situations that are actually good for you.

You accept the unacceptable as normal. And so my first marriage lasted many years; it eventually collapsed as he was "married" to his parents they came first always.

I learned afterwards to start choosing things I wanted. My legal mother treated me as a live dress up doll; I was not allowed even personal expression in clothing, and shamed if I got "out of line" did, said, or even wore anything they disapproved of.

I ended up marrying 2nd husband and hit rock bottom in terms of what I was willing to put up with and allowing people to use and abuse me.

I then camped out at a sobriety club for about three months which in actual fact saved my life.

My sobriety wasn't from drugs and alcohol; it was from allowing people and situations to use and abuse me. I proudly took a one year chip at a local Celebrate Recovery this last December.

I continued to ruthlessly pursue life in MY best interests, screw what other people wanted or thought. I am not talking selfishness/self-centeredness. I am talking: NO people pleasing, allowing someone else to run my life, make bad personal decisions so someone else would be happy, or put up with *** treatment to be accepted.

"NO" to bad living situations. Fix mess of past; do not make any further crap business/financial decisions. Do not "trust someone" to do any essential task and then have nowhere to live when they fail it.

Eventually good decisions piled up. I have a home, a husband, a bank account and have painfully rebuilt utterly destroyed credit.

I have plugged into many different community groups and contributed where able, so am reaping the fruits of these wise investments.

Ruthlessly pursuing life in MY best interests means, today:

• Rent and utilities get paid in full, on time.
• Bills keep current as able
• Budget and buy so home is supplied with food, toilet paper, cleaning supplies, trash bags, other life necessities.
• Home is clean stays clean I am too sick to recover it from allowing it to fall into disaster!!
• Good relationships with neighbors.

Relationshipwise:

• Father, Son, Holy Spirit FIRST
• Husband SECOND
• Believers/Neighbors/Teammates THIRD
• Love others share what's given. Say please when you ask and thank you when you receive.

Too sick to work but I do little volunteer tasks as I am able.

THAT is ruthlessly living life in MY best interests!!!

@soulsings. I recently forgave my Father for his transgression against me and have forgiven myself for all the Wrongs I done I learned that even though My Father was abusing me it’s the only thing he knew I finally see some light at the End of the tunnel. Besides stuff can’t get much worse . ps He says with crossed fingers and While knocking on Wood. 🤭😉

What did you learn from your biggest mistakes?

This answer is a probably a little different than what was expected here. I hope the way I explain it is understandable. I also hope someone can read this and look at their mistakes and maybe get a different perspective on it and help them move forward past it....

I learned that time changes how you look those mistakes......and with reflection and healing, if you need it, they may not be mistakes at all.....They may be doors opening or closing for you in life to lead you to better things.....I believe everything happens for a reason....Life leads us in a certain direction with "happenings" based on the choices we make.... how you perceive those happenings at the time of the event vs. all the years afterward is what makes the difference....its all in the perspective....

Example: In 2004 I was divorced from my first wife(we were married for about 10 years or so)...for a long time I considered it the biggest mistake of my life.... While I considered my first marriage a horrible failure at that time...here I am 19 years later and I came out of it with two great kids and now have 4 awesome grandchildren. Yes, it was my biggest mistake when I was going through my divorce way back then....now...after time and reflection and some healing, I don't consider it my biggest mistake anymore....I still hold feelings against her for how I was treated and what she did to me, but I learned long ago not to let that eat me up, and by letting go, what I thought was my biggest mistake turned out be one of the best mistakes of my life.....

I am currently working through another "worst mistake" at my place of employment.....I'm confident that as I work through this, with time, my perspective on this will also change and a different "biggest mistake" will take its place....(hopefully not).....but for me and my perspective, the cycle goes on....

If you sense a pattern going on you are likely to come across the same set of problems if you keep going in the same direction

@soulsings um 🤔🤔🤔🤔 this is a difficult one for me🤔🤔🤔 I don't make misteaksss I'm practically perfect in every way 😁

@soulsings I learn that I must always trust myself within the process.

@soulsings

to turn something ugly/scary into an opportunity to learn and grow.