Trauma Support Community Check-in: Wednesday-Thursday 1-2 April 2021
Hello community ❤️
How are you all? Today, we'll be talking about comfort. As usual, the check-in is optional, so feel free to simply tell us about how you've been ❤️
The comfort zone has a bad reputation for being a place we retreat to for solace. People are always being encouraged to step out of it, and daringly face our challenges and difficulties. But sometimes, it can be more helpful to lean into the familiar and comforting when we are struggling.
Comfort is more than just resting, it's allowing yourself to enjoy the rest. It's easy to feel as though we've already lost too much time, and we should be working hard to fix that. In reality, comfort paves the path towards a more peaceful recovery. It might not speed up the process, but it can certainly help make things less painful and more bearable. Rest doesn't need to be stressful or make you feel guilty. Rest can be something you look forward to, and allow yourself to appreciate.
Here are some ideas you can try for your comfort:
1. Do something you enjoy. (even if you don't think you'll enjoy it)
2. Give yourself permission to have good days. Sometimes it feels like having a good day means we need to only have good days and not bad days, or we've slid backwards, but that's not true. Having good and bad days is part of recovery, and it's okay to have a bad day after a good day
3. Keep up with your routine. Resting and comfort doesn't mean you should throw away all the healthy habits you've been building for a day. Stick to the habits that you know are helpful
Questions:
1. How are you? ❤️
2. Is rest something that is difficult for you? What makes it difficult and what are some things that have helped?
3. What is one way you can have some comfort this week?
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1. How are you? ❤️ That is a trucky question. Physically, I think I am doing okay. My coffee clicked in, which is good. However since Sunday (Full moon), I have been feeling very sad and off. . . like dread and something bad is going to happen. I have had people tell me to think positive, because you an manifest bad thing by thinking about them. However I cannot shake this bad feeling. I feel like I am going to lose something or get into trouble. However I do NOT do anything wrong.
2. Is rest something that is difficult for you? Yes, mix my sleep apnea, insomnia, and worry it's truly hard to feel geniunely rested. When I do feel rested, my brain is always going a mile a minute, which can drain me fast.
What makes it difficult and what are some things that have helped? My brain does not stop. . . I think and overthink, worry, and blow my thoughts out of portion. My brain just does not go back to a basic mode, and the worst part is I have had writer's block and cant verbally/creatively express it.
3. What is one way you can have some comfort this week? Music, cooking, venting on this site, coloring, walking, shopping, chatting and laughing with a friend
@Rebekahwriter13
hugs sorry to hear that i really hope all turn out well and I understand what you mean having that gut feeling about impending doom hope you can shake it soon
your not alone I too have apnea n insomnia both suck don't they
love what you put as your comfort ideas
@CaringBrit Hugs.
1. How are you? ❤️
I’m not doing so well. I’m currently living in a triggering environment and I don’t feel safe. I never feel safe anymore. My routines are shot through hell, it seems like everything I worked so hard to build is falling in on itself. I know I need to get out of this house, but I feel like I’m not allowed. I’m so scared of taking control of my life once again, of disappointing those I genuinely care about, and I feel so guilty all the time... I know I’m not doing myself any favors, acting like this, allowing myself to be drag with the current, but I feel terrified of stepping a toe out of line. I feel like the right thing to do would be to take that final step into independence and darn all the consequences, but I can’t bear with it. I know I need to, I know I can’t stay here, but I’m paralyzed...
What’s worse, I’m pretty sure I dissociated very badly yesterday night. I’ve found convos in my phone I don’t remember writing. I don’t know what I did. I have a hazy memory of logging in here while in a floaty state and trying to express myself, of trying to contact my father, but then it just. Blacks out. No memory, no Anything. I’m scared. I’m regressing. I feel paralyzed.
2. Is rest something that is difficult for you?
Sometimes. The problem is that when I dot rest, everything else gets thrown out of whack.
What makes it difficult and what are some things that have helped?
Unstability and restlessness are the main causes of my sleepless nights, discounting nightmares. A stable routine, light exercise, balanced food, small and early dinners, a sense of safety and fresh air help. My current situation does not.
3. What is one way you can have some comfort this week?
I don’t know. Lately it seems like everything I do is wrong, or goes wrong, or is not enough somehow. I just don’t know right now. Lately my only comfort has been coming from music, brushing my teeth and my soft blanket.
———
Sorry for the downer :)
@adequatelyInadequate
Hey there ❤️ I'm really sorry to hear that you've been feeling so trapped and afraid right now. This sounds like a really complicated situation to be in ❤️ Even though it's easy for you to blame yourself for not doing what you feel is best, I feel it is incredibly courageous and strong of you to stay in an environment that hurts you. I know making the choice to leave is tough for you, and I want you to know that I'm so proud of you for continuing to hold on in the midst of all of this. It's okay for you to take things at your own pace, and you don't have to force yourself to do it before you feel that you're ready ❤️ You are strong, and I believe in you. I believe that if you set your heart on the right choice, you will have the courage to go through with what you think is best for you.
It must have been a very confusing experience to find conversations that you don't remember having. It's okay, some regression is normal and a part of the process. The stress of this all is clearly affecting you, and it does not necessarily mean that you are weak or that your condition is worsening. If you can, it woud be good if you can talk to a professional, but if you can't, know that there are many people in this community who have experienced something similar. All you have to do is reach out ❤️ You can ask them for suggestions to cope or for their personal experiences, if you both feel it would help.
I see ❤️ It sounds like resting can be very tiring for you afterwards. Ultimately, you know yourself best, and you can choose for yourself how you want to rest. Even though your current circumstances make things difficult for you to take care of your mental and emotional health, you can still choose to focus on the things you can chance. We do what we can with what we have.
It's okay to feel as though everything has just not been going the way you really want it to. Things don't have to work out immediately, and you can give yourself permission to work through this at your own pace. The steps you take don't have to be big, as long as they take you in the right direction. Don't worry about posting a response that is filled with negativity, because that's what we're here for. This is a safe place for you to talk about what's really going on in your life and how you're really feeling.
Thank you for checking in with us today ❤️ Take care, and I hope you'll have a good day
@hopebeyondpain, Hi!
1. How are you? ❤️
I have been trying new situations for the past few days. Everything feels so exciting and interesting!
2. Is rest something that is difficult for you? What makes it difficult and what are some things that have helped?
Physical rest is easy. Taking pleasure in entertainment like a video game and taking a nap is natural for me. However, mental rest is a bit difficult. Being optimistic can be challenging especially when something in life goes wrong.
If you don't mind me asking, how do you deal with a situation that seems hopeless? Giving up is quite tempting.
3. What is one way you can have some comfort this week?
Using the Internet or spending time with my brother is comforting.
Have a nice day!
@SnippyHam
Hey there! ❤️ Wow, I'm so happy for you! This past week seems to have been going so well for you, and I'm glad you've been able to enjoy yourself ❤️
I agree ❤️ Physical rest is usually simple enough, but mental rest can take more work. Of course, you don't need to be optimistic to rest. The bad things are still there, and it usually doens't help if we only push them aside for the time being. It's important to resognise the negative things, but this doesn't stop you from choosing to allow yourself time and space to rest.
I personally would give myself the permission to give up for a bit of time, just so I can rest and take a break before I decide on my next steps. Once I've had some rest and I can think think clearly, I apply the skills I've learnt in staying hopeful. Over the years, I've come to learn the hope is a skill you can learn and practice, so I've been working on that. You can learn about how to do that here: https://www.7cups.com/hope-training/ The key is to have a good toolbox ready for when troubles come, so you're more prepared to deal with them ❤️
Thank you for checking in with us today ❤️ Take care, and I hope you'll have a good day ❤️
1. How are you? I'm feeling a bit tired today
2. Is rest something that is difficult for you? What makes it difficult and what are some things that have helped? I feel like i haven't gotten good sleep this week, the mind becomes restless when I'm trying to sleep. In the past doing meditation helped but I haven't had as much time to do that lately.
3. What is one way you can have some comfort this week? Take a break to relax and not think too much.
@purpleWheel873
Hey there ❤️ I'm sending some hugs if you'd like them ❤️
It sounds you've really been struggling with sleeping lately, I'm sorry to hear it ❤️ I understand struggle and how frustration it can be. What I found helpful was noticing that if something helped me sleep, it was usually better to take the extra time to do it rather than try to sleep without it. Perhaps it is different for you, so draw on your knowledge of yourself and try the things that you feel wou;d help best ❤️
Here's the self-help guide for sleeping well for your reference: https://www.7cups.com/sleeping-well/
Taking a break and not thinking too much is a great idea ❤️ Self care breaks are incredibly important for us to rest and renew our strength for a new day. Choosing to let the negative and complicated thoughts is also a good way to let your mind rest from worry and stress ❤️
Thank you for checking in with us today ❤️ Take care, and I hope you'll have a good day ahead
@hopebeyondpain
I feel like all this overcomes me. All of this is way too much for me. I don't know how long I can keep going on but I feel, deep in me, that I'm slowly giving up.
