Traumatic Experiences Check In - Saturday August 26th 2017
I've been on a break from 7 cups recently. And it became an opportunity to reflect on perfectionism. You know that sense of comparing yourselves to others but falling short? Of wanting to say something so hugely significant it changes people's lives. Of never wanting to put a foot wrong. Striving for perfectionism is pretty hard work, because in turn it creates anxiety and self doubt. Do we really want those as by products? Yet still we often set ourselves up with the goal to be perfect. To have a perfect life, perfect job, perfect relationship. Anything else is a failure right? Wrong!
There's a lovely quote I heard, I don't know the source. I can't even quote it perfectly 😉. But something about perfectionism is a huge shield we carry around with us, which is so heavy it prevents us from flying and being free.
So in other words, as I'm discovering, perfectionism isn't something to aspire to. It's our imperfections that make us who we are. So embrace those imperfections, be proud of what makes you different, stop giving yourself a hard time for being you, free yourself!
You're all welcome here, all equally valued. Whatever you want to say, just say it. What feels inadequate for you may just resonate for someone else. So free yourself, be heard, it's time to fly.
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@DeborahUK
Hi! Welcome back!!!!!
@KLM3278
Thank you ☺️
@DeborahUK
Hey welcome back! :)
Ah dear. Having a bit of a mare here as trying to post using my mobile.....unsuccessfully! But I'm sat in a beautiful park, and have just enjoyed a picnic, so it was worth the effort to come out and face the day.
Thanks for the welcome back @TreesandWine @melliotm @sensitiveShade5337
How are you passing your day? What's new? What have I missed?
@DeborahUK
i know how hard can be to post from mobile and sometimes it seems really frustrating
Im not up to something, I've been really down the last few days and yesterday I had a panic attack at night after 2 months or so.. but felt better waking up today
@sensitiveShade5337
Well although your panic attack doesn't sound the best of news, sounds like they're infrequent. And to have woken up feeling well is also a great outcome. Sadly recovery is never linear, but hopefully the ups and downs are less peaks and troughs and more gently rolling.
@DeborahUK
Things are as hard as they were I just feel like I have learn some things to cope and help me sometimes cause it aint just trauma it a mix of 3 different things and I know that other people have it worse than me but It still is a struggle
Welcome back, Deb ❤️
@melliotm
How are you doing mellio? I noticed you pop up a few times yesterday, but you were less than your usual eloquent self. Just know however you express yourself, don't be afraid to do so. Even when the words are hard to find.
@DeborahUK Had a rough few days (including last night, which had me especially triggered this morning -- doing better now) and am trying my best to focus on the basics and ride it out. Words are indeed difficult at the moment, but I will ask for everyone's support (which is hard to do at the moment, because battling inner critic, feeling like a broken record, yadda yadda inner critic stuff and things). I'm still here, taking it a baby step at a time with as much compassion as I can muster.
@melliotm
You have our support mellio. And if ever you need anyone to hold you up as you take those baby steps, know that there's many in this community who'd be privileged to be there for you. Myself included.
@DeborahUK ❤️❤️ thanks, Deb 🐢
Tonight was rough. I got triggered at church and it's hard to talk about. I'm a survivor of ritual abuse on multiple occasions and it triggered that, the same unsafe feeling, same church setup. It was like I was back at my family church when anything I said I would be punished for and then at rehab where the same happened.
Today was hard.
@Tenacity37
I'm really sorry to hear you've had such a tough experience. Is this the first time you've experienced such a trigger? Have you tried grounding techniques to pull you back into the present and reassure you you're safe? Because you are safe now. Those memories are of the past, and horrific as they are, you got through it. Just like you got through being triggered today. Because you're a survivor, and for that you should be so proud.
@DeborahUK
I'm used to being triggered, but right now it's a bit complicated because I'm away from home and a lot of factors intensified the feeling
@Tenacity37
If you're currently away from familiarity, do you have something you could do tonight to settle you before bed? If you try to sleep with your mind racing, the odds aren't in your favour to have a settled night are they? Whether it's reading some favourite verse, chatting to a pal, having a few stretches, plaiting your hair, anything that just brings you back to that safe place for you. Look after yourself.
Welcome back Deb! ❤️
Today was pretty good! I got a couple assignments done and submitted, and then we went to my aunt's house for my cousin's birthday party! Now I'm super tired and ready for bed, but it's too early to sleep (it's just after 7pm here!) cuz I'll just end up waking up in the middle of the night if I go to bed now 😜
@BeeLeigh
Haha! That's just what I did. Asleep at 8pm, awake at 2.15am!
Nice to hear your day was a good one :)
@DeborahUK
Omg I've done it a few times recently!! I keep waking up in the 1am hour and then dying by the end of the day!! 🙄🤦🏼♀️ not gonna let it happen today! 🙃
@DeborahUK
lots good things to think about in that picture, tend to think more on the grey side but going make it a goal to try for more on the colorful side. thanks for sharing this
@Autismaunt14
Small changes I think, and the coloured side is achievable. And a kinder, less stressful place to be I'm sure :)
@DeborahUK
Practice makes perfect... I sometimes myb even make things worse by trying to much.. Most worries me to lose magic moments or won't be good enough for others...
@conscientiousPineapple1782
It's certainly easy to lose out on special moments because your mind is elsewhere isn't it Pineapple? And if you think too much about how to be special for other people, you forget to be you! Don't forget, friends you've made over the years were drawn to you, and even if you've lost belief in yourself as a person, those friends won't have done.