Traumatic Experiences Community Check In - Monday April 23rd 2018
This is the week the trauma sub community turns one. In many ways, its a tragedy that such a support group is needed, but in reality its very much needed. Life can throw us some real curve balls, at any stage of our life. So to me its wonderful that this community exists, to be there for one another, to know were not alone, to understand its okay not to be okay.
However, trauma may have shaped me, but it certainly doesnt define me. And whilst its okay not to be okay, its also okay to be okay 🤔
So in the spirit of that idea, I ask you to consider reasons to celebrate. And here are just a few. How many could apply to you? Do you have more to add?
1. Youll never be as young as you are right now.
2. Celebrate your health.
3. No amount of worrying will change a situation. Surrendering = freedom.
4. Celebrate your relationships. Celebrate the ones that support you and the ones that have failed you because you have learned from them.
5. Celebrate the fact that it is never too late to change.
6. Every chapter in life is special and challenging in its own way. Celebrate each season.
7. You can change a persons life with something as simple as a smile or a hello.
8. You are LIVING and breathing. Celebrate the weather and the seasons that come with it.
9. Your body is literally made to make you live. It functions and supports you without you being conscious of it.
10. Celebrate your disappointments and failures, for they have made you stronger and shaped you into the person you are today.
11. You have the freedom to choose your thoughts and experiences.
12. Your struggle is part of your story.
13. If an opportunity doesnt open that you want, you know that you were made for a better one.
14. You can laugh, smile, dance and move your body.
15. Your life is short and you dont know how long you will be on earth - you have the ability to choose the kind of life you want to live.
16. You only get one precious life and you dont want to regret not living in the moment and living life to the fullest.
17. There are millions of people that you can connect and build relationships with that can support you if you are open and willing to it.
18. You are complete without another person or another thing. You have the ability to grow into who you truly are more every day.
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@DeborahUK
Hi I choose to celebrate the amazing people here who have stuck by my side and have had my back. I was so ready to throw it in but the amazing friends I have made here are fast becoming like the family I never had. So I choose to celebrate having them here with me. And to celebrate the trauma family and all the hard work the mods and leaders here do. You are all amazing and I am so so so grateful to be part of here and be cared for by this amazing family 
@calmLake1999
Thats such a positive statement, and so validates the purpose of this community. Its our birthday eve today, one year old tomorrow. So do feel free to head over to our events section on the forum, to celebrate us being one. Were baking cakes today! Hmm, if I was organised, Id post a link wouldnt I?
Haha, the joys of editing rights! Heres the link to the cake fest:
@DeborahUK
lol,, ill head on over,, im still unsure of posting again at moment, but this community really has helped 
@DeborahUK
Yes thank you for working so hard, yourself and others.
@singercrystalspirit
Thank you Singer, but no thanks needed. I can promise you I get so much more from this community than I give. Much as Id love to claim sainthood! But it genuinely is rewarding to meet the people who pass through this community, and to spend time with those who stay. And I continue to learn each and every day, from the wisdom, the strength, and the lessons of others.
@DeborahUK
Hehe 
Okay.
@calmLake1999
Youre such an amazing and resilient person and I admire you for so many reasons: for having the courage to speak on the speakers corner, for being able to share your story (which is heartbreaking but also so full of courage and strength), for being able to accept support and also seeing how much you are cared for! <3
Thanks for this! These are important messages and I cant wait for this week! :P I am so excited.
@Hope3729
You sound like you love a party Hope, so please do join in as much as you wish. All contributions from you are very welcome :)
Hi!
It's been a very long time since I've come on here so I thought I'd check in and say I'm doing well! I started a literature club plan for next year so I've been extremely happy about becoming the club president and I'm doing great in my classes! I've missed a lot of people here and it makes me happy to see some of the same faces even after all of this time
I hope all is well in the trauma family. Sending all my love, always :)
@TheHoneyDoll
Great to hear from you again Honey, and just in time for the party! Loving the cake pic youre wearing too 😉
So good to hear lifes treating you well, and youre treating you well too.
@TheHoneyDoll
Nice to see you around! Thank you for giving us such positive news from you! So glad to hear you
I
@DeborahUK
I'm trying to make sense of my senseless life, trying to understand what I should be doing with it, what I can do, what I want to do. So many questions I have no answers for and yet I sit here wasting away and getting increasingly more anxious and restless as the days go by.
On another note, Happy Birthday Trauma Family
You guys are awesome and I'm sorry if I don't always show just how much I appreciate and love you all as I truly do.
@WaterLily16
I feel kind of similarly to you. *Hugs* if you want them.
@singercrystalspirit
Sorry you're feeling the same! Hugs back to you Singer. We'll figure this out together somehow <3
@WaterLily16
I don
@singercrystalspirit
Here *hands over some hope*. You have to hold onto that as Im sharing some of mine with you. We are in this together, you are going to be okay.
PS: you dont have to do anything to be loved, other than just be. Youre enough. We love you <3
@WaterLily16
Ok I wont let it go, but thats because it belongs to you.
I just cried hard again.
@singercrystalspirit
Awww hugs Singer. Its okay to cry if you need to. Its gonna be okay! Youre not alone in the way you feel. We re gone be okay! <3
@WaterLily16
Im not so sure about that business regarding its all going to be okay, but since Im holding on to some of your hope right now...
@singercrystalspirit
Yes just hold onto that for now <3
@WaterLily16
*holds Lily
@WaterLily16
Making sense of a senseless life - those are words that sadden me so much Lily. Would your son have life were it not for you? Would he be fed, clean, nurtured, loved? Where would Bee and Singer be today without your kind and understanding words to them? You make an impact every day of your life, but you just dont see it. Please Lily, try very hard to see your worth, and to value yourself the way others value you. You may not feel youve been valued by all the people in your life, but it doesnt mean youre not valued at all. Far from it.
@DeborahUK
Just leaving my thoughts.... around on 7cups as I woke up early and was feeling tortured and useless. I know they're depressing. It's just how I am seeing things right now.
1. Youll never be as young as you are right now. -- this makes me feel pressured
2. Celebrate your health. -- this is hard when I don't feel happy, and don't feel that my health does me any good, because I don't have money or pursue things that make me very happy in life, I feel like I live like I am in poorer health than I am
3. No amount of worrying will change a situation. Surrendering = freedom. -- that is true.
4. Celebrate your relationships. Celebrate the ones that support you and the ones that have failed you because you have learned from them. -- I have a hard time feeling like my relationships are real, and like they are here to stay. I still find myself constantly pulling away and disconnecting in preparation for the other person doing so eventually.
5. Celebrate the fact that it is never too late to change. -- Will I ever change? I have been trying for so long. Half my life...
6. Every chapter in life is special and challenging in its own way. Celebrate each season. -- This season doesn't feel like it's turning into anything new. It feels like I'm dying.
7. You can change a persons life with something as simple as a smile or a hello. -- this is true...
8. You are LIVING and breathing. Celebrate the weather and the seasons that come with it. -- this is hard. i feel like everything around me is designed to make me feel as though where I am now is not where I want to be.
9. Your body is literally made to make you live. It functions and supports you without you being conscious of it. -- for what end, though? I can not seem to find happiness. i seem to keep doing something wrong.
10. Celebrate your disappointments and failures, for they have made you stronger and shaped you into the person you are today. -- someone who keeps failing and keeps encountering disappointments....
11. You have the freedom to choose your thoughts and experiences. -- i do. so it's all my fault what I'm going through, because i refuse to leave. i refuse to leave SC. i don't want to be here experiencing this anymore, and i'm not leaving, so i must be refusing to leave. i don't have any money, so that must be my choice. i have depression, so that must be my choice.
12. Your struggle is part of your story. -- is my whole story a struggle? do i ever win? or am i a loser?
13. If an opportunity doesnt open that you want, you know that you were made for a better one. -- yes....
14. You can laugh, smile, dance and move your body. -- yes.....
15. Your life is short and you dont know how long you will be on earth - you have the ability to choose the kind of life you want to live. -- this makes me feel immense guilt that i am where i am, doing what i am doing... instead of being somewhere else... i PLANNED on being somewhere else, but money fell through.... it isn't my fault that money fell through... i don't understand why i have failed, i don't understand why the universe didn't provide me with more money.... what am i supposed to do when money doesn't work out?
16. You only get one precious life and you dont want to regret not living in the moment and living life to the fullest. -- i do regret it immensely already. i don't want to be here, living this life... i want to be somewhere else, living a different life.... but money.... being responsible.... money holds me back, and fear of no money, and fear of no resources.... fear....
17. There are millions of people that you can connect and build relationships with that can support you if you are open and willing to it. -- are there? .... if i don't keep disconnecting..... both disconnecting with myself and disconnecting with others..... it is all my fault
18. You are complete without another person or another thing. You have the ability to grow into who you truly are more every day. -- yes.... and i am not growing that direction, i don't think.... i am doing something wrong.... i feel tortured
@singercrystalspirit
They werent all great reasons to celebrate were they? Not for you at least, but they were just one persons take after all. I notice there are some you agree with. Would you add any of your own?
You know, its okay not to skip through life. Even those people we think have the most charmed lives doubtless have their struggles. So please resist comparing yourself against what you think others have. I think the author of this list was finding her own positives, but they dont have to be yours. Of course they dont, youre your own person, an individual. Each of us finds our own way. I hope the route youre taking becomes easier for you in time.
@DeborahUK
I can celebrate because I have experienced some true love and connection today here. And that little bit was worth it
I can celebrate because there are a few people out there who are, I think, cheering me on
I can celebrate because I got a job working as a photographer.... it pays very little, but, it is a job doing something I enjoy doing and find satisfaction in doing
@singercrystalspirit
All great reasons to celebrate Singer :)
Right, need to get back to my cheering.... 📣
I just wanted to say I am sorry for not being more connected or involved. I feel disconnected and I just am not sure whether to allow myself to feel the way that I feel or whether to push myself to try to feel something different. I don't know if I will ever heal. Thank you for still letting me call this part of my home even though I am probably not a very desirable family member. I hope everyone is doing and feeling well.
@singercrystalspirit
Oh wow, this is so something I could have written. I also dont feel like a very desirable family member, and it's not because of what people have done or said, but because of what I do and say to myself. So I'll tell you what I wish people would tell me: we are glad you are here and you're very much a desirable family member. We love and care about you and even when you're not around here, you are thought of and cared about <3
@WaterLily16
That made me cry hard.
@singercrystalspirit
I hope happy tears though! 🙄 <3
@WaterLily16
Yes :)
@DeborahUK
idk I am so confused about spirituality
and scared God would leave me
wonder why so scared...
I can't axept my failers and regrets...a bit perfectionist...
and idk why think need to be perfect
can't handle pain and wonder am I too much free
wish never went this road...
@conscientiousPineapple1782
You are perfect in your impactions. Perfectly you! There is nobody more perfect at being you then you are yourself! :)
Hope you have a good week <3
@conscientiousPineapple1782
Oh Pineapple, I think if you put your faith in God, Hell not leave you. Are you familiar with ‘footprints. Its an oft quoted story, and I think it sums up what strength your faith can bring.
@DeborahUK
I like some of these celebration reasonings. It gives a whole new perspective on the things you feel you should never really dwell on because you feel there's no reason to celebrate those things.
@FangsInsanity
It certainly highlights that even those small things in life, that we just take for granted, can actually be precious to others and something to treasure for ourselves. I live in a wealthy country, Im free from persecution, I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, food in my belly, and as much clean water as I could ever want. I was born lucky.
mmm...4 and 9 kind of make me uncomfortable from a chronically ill standpoint but hhhh yeah i won't whine about that haha
today is...kind of uncomfortable. i'm not sure how i feel. i may be getting in contact with the person who sexually assaulted me when i was a kid. i need to know the truth from him. i'm also scared of knowing the truth, too. am i really ready to hear what he did to me? i don't know. i don't think i'll ever find peace unless i'm told though. i don't think i'm remembering everything that happened. i wish i did.
@Moonberrycat
This sounds like a huge day for you indeed. I wish you all the strength, fortitude and mental energy in the world. Stand strong, dont be cowed, you deserve to be heard, to be respected, and to have some sort of explanation for this persons actions. And whatever comes out of today, remember this - what he did was not your fault.
