Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check In - Monday February 5th 2018
Trauma has the ability to strip our sense of self worth away. So I was delighted to find this little tale on the internet, to highlight why we shouldnt allow that. I couldnt find a source to attribute it to - its pasted in numerous places, so apologies if Ive failed to credit anyone!
A speaker was presenting to an audience. He started off his presentation by holding up a 20 note and he asked, Who would like this 20 note? Hands started going up.
Then he said, I am going to give this 20 to one of you but first, let me do this. He proceeded to crumple the 20 note up. He then asked, Who still wants it? Still the hands were up in the air. Well, he replied, What if I do this? And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. Now who still wants it? Still the hands went into the air. My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson, he said, No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth 20.
Sometimes in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. Sometimes we may feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless.......
Welcome to Monday! Have you any words of wisdom to share? Hows your day going?
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@DeborahUK
But how do we make ourselves feel our value?
@Rebekahwriter13
That is indeed the 10 million dollar question! I think by intrinsically valuing your worth. So even if you have a bad day, you dont allow that to rock you. Just as you end that day with the same eye colour you entered it with, so you end it with the same worth. And thats about being able to value yourself isnt it? To be able to say ‘Im a decent person, and not being so fragile as to let the days events alter that fundamental belief.
@DeborahUK
My anger, depression, anxiety, and ptsd constant argue with me.
Who would want a pts on who is so broken? With so many flaws?
@Rebekahwriter13
You mentioned that you are battling with anger, depression, anxiety and PTSD. I hear that and I think to myself " what a strong, brave, resiliant woman you are!" You say "broken and flawed" I say "strong and resilliant". I suppose it's all about the power of perspective, how you view yourselves compared to how you are viewed by others.
At some point in our lives we may feel broken, but this should not diminish our value. We are human and we all struggle with something. Sometimes our struggles unveil strengths and gifts that we did not know we had. So you asked who would want a person who is so broken and flawed? I would ask who would not want to be with a person who struggles with so much, yet has amazing courage and strength to battle through each day?💗
@Amandisa16
This is beautifully put. Its so great to have you officially as part of the forum team.
And @Rebekahwriter13 - I really hope Amandas words sink in. And Kites too.
Dented and unique, courageous, resilient and strong. Be proud my love.
@DeborahUK
@DeborahUK
Thank you 💗
@DeborahUK
I guess i feel weak because those I want to love me, don't see my strength and unique beauty.
@Amandisa16
Thank you. I just do not feel so strong. However I may be too close to see it.
@Rebekahwriter13
Hi Rebekah, strength is not only measured by how we feel. Strength can be measured by our daily actions, for example the courage to get out of bed and face each day.
@Amandisa16
With my health issues, sometimes getting out of bed is a victory within itself.
@DeborahUK I'm okay I guess. That little passage helped me so much, I don't have any self - esteem or self - confidence so that did make me feel a little happier. Although it's so hard to feel happy these days - I'm in an abusive relationship where I finally gave up and gave him a warning. He says he's gonna try to change so let's see. This all has affected my life too muh in the negative.
Good morning everyone.
First of all I want to give *big hugs* to everyone here. And smiles.
Second of all, I want to share that I feel lost. As hard as I have fought to recover from the trauma I have been through, I'm still not on the other side. It's still affecting my life. And I still blame myself for it affecting my life. (I blame myself for not being over it yet).
Last night as I was watching the Super Bowl halftime show, my thoughts were still along the lines of "That should be me up there" (in regards to Justin Timberlake). I can't seem to forgive myself for not pursuing music. I am so brutally hard on myself. And I don't know whose voice it is... or whether it's a nasty conglomeration of two voices.
However, I also want to share that I am making progress. I am **not** in that mindspace all of the time. Sometimes I am out of it. And now, I hope to find ways to continue taking myself back out of that mindspace again, and into the mindspace where I am content with my life the way it is -- content to go slower, content to not push myself and be hard on myself. Basically just the mindspace where I am not hard on myself. If I could achieve that, somehow, I think life would comparatively speaking be heaven.
Also, because I feel rather useless in my current mindspace, I want to share a poem that someone shared with me, in hopes that it will inspire you. It didn't inspire me as much as I wish it had, because I refused to let it. I told myself that I was unable to abide by its message right now. So I feel obliged to try and make further use of it. Maybe one of you will be able to. See here:
https://inspirare.blog/2009/10/05/for-a-new-beginning-by-john-odonohue-share/
It is called, "For A New Beginning."
@singercrystalspirit
@singercrystalspirit
Good morning, sending big hugs your way💗. Sorry to hear that you are feeling lost at the moment. It does take time to recover from trauma, please do not feel guilty because you have not fully recovered. Recovery takes time at least you are on the road!
It is difficult when our hopes and dreams are not fulfilled. We can end up full of regret and guilt. Sometimes the inner critic will overwhelm us and condemn us. At times like these it is good to practice "self compassion", you don't deserve condemnation. It's great to hear that you feel that you are making progress 😀.
Also thank you for sharing the "New beginnings poem", it clearly expresses how you have been feeling, and is a lovely poem.
Today I'm feeling very low, it's been a hard day. I'm thankful with @DeborahUK for the support she has gave me in forums. However, it makes me so frustrated that trying to change something hurtful online almost never works. And it makes me upset people being rude to me for wanting to change this kind of things. I feel drained but I don't want to give up.
@Imaginativa2930
Wow, we seem to be echoing one anothers thoughts and feelings here.
Standing tall together X
@DeborahUK Standing together^^ that pic is so beautiful!
@DeborahUK I feel I have no words of wisdom. The thing I've done these past few days since I joined this site is just trying to stay positive. Anyway, my day is pretty good.
@FangsInsanity
‘Try to stay positive
Heya everyone.
so my step forward today is that Im going on a field trip.. may sound really stupid. But its a bit different than normal trips; its going to be very late at night and dark when we get back home, and the only chaperone is a man. Hes very very kind and I trust him very much, and this is a kinda big step for me.. Im kind of excited. Were headed to a conference and Im hoping it all goes well. My question for whoever can respond, as this is my first experience where I would need it. As someone with PTSD, if Im to fall asleep on the bus and have a nightmare or we arrive home whilst Im sleeping, how should someone (like my teacher ) wake me, if at all?
Thanks- xx Ashes
@ashes04
Hey Ashes
I guess it may help to make the teacher aware you may have a nightmare, or may be upset if waking from a deep sleep. Can you have a friend of yours look out for you?
I hope the field trip is going, or has gone, well.
@DeborahUK
Deborah, I absolutely love this little story. It's so vivid and to the point. :)
I'm doing okay, trying my best to be an adult today and wear the big girl pants. XD I got my first check in the mail from some of my very part-time work. It's the first check I've gotten for work in...like over a decade because I quit due to my mental illness pretty much being at rock bottom. It's really refreshing. Even though it's a really small amount, it's mine. And I totally did the work for it. <3 It's absolutely empowering.
I still feel embarrassed for the past and being out of work for so long. For hiding in my mind and being in hibernation pretty much. But there's nothin' I can do about it now but go forward and awaken like the spring from the winter. Ah, the seasons of our lives...
Hope things are going good for you, Deborah and trauma peeps.
@CaloenasNicobarica
Hey, youre moving forward. Personally I dont believe you should carry any embarrassment for the past and being out of work. But those feelings are personal to you of course. Maybe its about focusing on the here and now. Your first pay slip in over a decade, hard worked for and hard earned. I hope youre feeling really proud of yourself for such a fantastic achievement.
@DeborahUK
Therapy consists of letting go of those limiting beliefs. I see other people than me doing amazing things and earning their own way. Sometimes it can get me pretty down and then I get cynical. XD Which is not good. Then I start going into this downward spiral of cynicism and such. It's really bad. Have learned to negate stuff and just live as I am- not comparing myself to others and simply focusing on the present. But I slip into it every so often. I think you're right about focusing on the here and now. I should be celebrating, damn it! lol Thanks again, Deborah! <3
@CaloenasNicobarica I imagine this feels like a bit of a milestone?! You should be proud of yourself 😉
@purpleWest8143
Thanks, Purple! <3
It totally is, at the same time it's like I want to keep pushing forward and ignore it. X_X; When it is totally a milestone. I gotta remember to celebrate these kinds of things, even the simple everyday stuff. Hope you're doing well today.
@CaloenasNicobarica I am! Thank you ❤️
Today was pretty much the Monday-est Monday ever! I stumbled my way through though and now it
@BeeLeigh
What a lovely upbeat post after your Mondayest Monday ever! What made it so Mondayey?
@DeborahUK
OHHHHHHMG!!!! Okay, so, yesterday...idek Deb, anything and everything that couldve gone wrong went wrong at work and it was one of those days you just laugh at everything cuz if you dont youll just explode 😂. Corporate finally sent our new fax machine that was supposed to be a fax/copier/printer....but it was just fax and copy 🙄🙃. That was corporate guy G. Corporate lady Rsent two phones with the same phone number for one of our CNAs, so now we have THREE phones for that CNA...and can do nothing with any of them until its figured out. Corporate lady T called over asking for paperwork she doesnt actually NEED for another almost two weeks, for a patient that was just admitted on Friday. I accidentally ordered two 24pks of Coke instead of two 12pks, and the person who orders accidentally ordered four instead of two...so...we have way more Coke than we could ever need hahaha! It was just soooo many things...and then it started snowing about an hour before we closed! 🙄🙃🤦🏼♀️
@BeeLeigh
Yep, that sounds like a very Mondayey Monday, if not the Mondayest of Mondays!
@DeborahUK
I know right?? It
I woke up early today, took a walk with my dog and took some time to wind down outside for once. I'm finding it hard to push myself to go to class today but who knows. I've got 3 more hours to get up the courage.
I just gotta remember it'll be ok.
@PerkyPossum
It will be okay. If not today, it will be okay another day. How was class?