Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-In Monday the 15th of January 2018
Hi everyone!!
I feel like sometimes in recovery we get so focused on the illness and negatives that we forget who we are a bit. We forget who we are outside of our trauma. Today I want us to remember the other parts of ourselves. I want to know what hobbies you enjoy, what gets you lost in time and you realize 4 hours have passed. I want to know what you love doing, what your passions are. What are your interests? Do you make sure to prioritize these things that make you happy? Or do you let them slip away too often? I find that I don't let myself do things I enjoy if I don't feel like I can... justify them I suppose? But the justification is that it makes me happy. And I assure you, that is a good enough reason.
To start off: I love videogames! They are the majority of my social interaction. I feel skilled at the game which makes me feel pride which is nice, and I socialize with my friends through gaming. I also love reading but after college I was very tired of reading. Now a few years later I am finaly getting back into it, it has especially helped my sleep problems by reading right before bed as a routine and it calms me enough to let me drift off. I also love to sing. Whenever I'm on my computer I have music playing and I'm always singing. It often helps me deal with my emotions and I always feel at least a little better after singing.
I want to know you guys better. ^^ And as always, how is your day going?
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I can lose a whole day to watching Gordon Ramsay shows (Ive been watching Hotel Hell all day while cleaning 😁). I love Netflix. It lets me lose time intentionally (Gordon Ramsay stuff is on YouTube though). I also love sudoku, coloring, and stuff like connect the dots, knitting (but I havent in a while), doing puzzles (I hope to be able to get back to doing puzzles when Ive cleared out all my excess stuff and built my new furniture thats still sitting in its boxes), and reading (but Im *in* school, so its really not my favorite hobby right now lol).
Today my focus is to stop missing the forest for the trees and focus on the bigger things that need to be taken care of instead of just doing all the smaller detailed cleaning things. I cleaned my bathroom floor on Friday, which was very much needed!, but it wasnt necessary to deal with that while there are much larger and more visible things that need to be dealt with. I need to keep clearing things out so I can reorganize and theeeen I can worry about the more detailed cleaning! 😊
@BeeLeigh Well I said in my post that I totally understand that reading part haha. I also love puzzles!! So for a while for Christmas people only knew I liked puzzles apparently and it's all I got for years. I ahve like 20. It's actually pretty silly because I haven't made half of them. I'm thinking about perhaps packaging them in a smaller way and taking pictures of their boxes or something. I feel like they take up so much space!
Netflix is awesome. Obviously it can be dangerous for like falling into it a bit too much, but I like that you can do other things while watching, especially if you're watching something you've already seen because you enjoy it, but then you don't need to watch every single second and can be industrious in other ways while watching. What other shows do you like?
I love reprioritizing my goals. It helps keep it fresh and I'm assuming that with a task like cleaning, keeping it new could be a really good strategy for completing all that you want to do. It looks like you're doing a really good job with it! I need to focus on some cleaning, myself and you have inspired me!
@Hoxenos
Oooo! For puzzles, my mom
@BeeLeigh SAMEEE so much same!! I love procedural crime shows. I've just started rewatching the original CSI from the beginning! As a criminologist, I can say that most of Criminal Minds is very well researched and based on true stories (sort of) up until about season 4, then they ran out of real stories to use and got a bit silly. But they obviously have consultants who understand criminal theory so generally it's a well written show, which I appreciate.
As for background noise, I prefer How I Met your Mother and things like that. I'm not sure there's an episode of that I don't like!
I'm going to take your advice on packing the puzzles. Seems like a great idea!
I am currently trying to stop/prevent a political battle on Facebook between my dad
Laying in bed like
@BeeLeigh Oh gosh. I don't have any family on facebook, and frankly I basically stopped using it anyway. I don't really like it as a platform xD
I have a lot of hobbies and interests. I like to draw and paint, although I'm not super good at it. It's really fun! 
I like to write poetry occasionally, and I am a huge fan of music (I enjoy a variety of genres) whether it's listening, dancing, singing, or making the music myself (I play the piano). One of my newest hobbies is trying calligraphy. I also love baking (especially desserts!), reading, spending time with family and friends, and watching youtube videos.
@MoreThanAConqueror18 Oh man that is such a good list of fun things! I also play the piano, though since I moved away from home I have not had access :( I think that in the future I'd really like to take up one kind of dance, and one kind of martial art. Just feel like those would be two more good ways of both exercising and processing emotions healthily. Plus I like doing things as precisely as possible and both those activities are really good for that.
How are you finding calligraphy? I think that's such a neat hobby because you can use it to make people happy with like cards and stuff. Super neat. What do you like to bake? I'm pretty terrible at cooking and baking but I think it's amazing when people like it and are good at it!
@Hoxenos
I've found calligraphy to be really fun so far! I'd like to get more into it when I have time. I've always liked doing pretty handwriting, so yeah it's a lot of fun for me!
As far as baking goes, I like making things like baklava, apple strudel, different kinds of pies and cakes, waffles (using a waffle-maker), pizza, and baked macaroni and cheese. 
hello
just came back from taking my dog max to get his nails done
@scarletPear1945 Are his nails pretty now?? :D How are you doing today, Pear?
@Hoxenos
I am pretty
good and thanks for asking
@Hoxenos
Max's nails are cut and filed. Sure feels better to the legs when he jumps on me.
@scarletPear1945 Awww! ❤️🐕🐶
@Hoxenos
I don't really find enjoyment in anything anymore. I used to enjoy art, particularly painting but I have not been able to get myself to do much lately. No inspiration. Though last week I did a drawing that helped me express how I was feeling. My great grandma passed and ive been told I have to rehome my dog. So I made a picture that says "appreciate what you have" and drew a tombstone with my great grandmas birthday and date of death and my dog standing next to the tombstone. I also used to write to express myself. I can get my thoughts and feelings down in paper better than when I speak them, but when I dont speak my feelings I end up being stuck inside of my own head and feel alone. And it just sucks. Ive been having a hard time finding motivation to do anything lately. Life is just not my friend right now.
@beautifuldisasterx0 I'm sorry to hear this, disaster. That's a lot to have on your plate at one time and I think it's normal for things that were once enjoyable to be less so now, when the hard times hit. I'm glad that despite it being hard, you still drew something. Do you feel that it helped in some way?
Perhaps it's time to try some new activities? Or maybe breathe life into old ones? Really connect with the original reason you started loving drawing? Or perhaps trying a new medium? Of course if this is all too much to think about, don't worry about it. I know that sometimes... things need time to fix, not necessarily action.
@Hoxenos
The drawing was very cathartic. I felt good about it. And when I was writing at the hospital I felt like I was finally able to put words to and process what I was feeling. Im hoping I can p Idk these hobbies back up.
Funny you mention the breathing new life into them. My cousin has a 2 year old and i live with them. I bought some finger paint and some canvas and I am excited to have a finger paint adventure with the little one. :) My mom recently gave me one of my first painting projects. When I was little (before age 7) I painted a plaque with my great grandma because she loved doing ceramics. So now I have a little piece of her and my first experience with painting.
@beautifuldisasterx0
Beauti, I am so sorry to hear you that you have to regime your dog 😢 I have lost 3 dogs in less than 3 years, & because I don't have any family, or close friends...being without my constant companions has been hard. What type of dog do you have, and what is your dog's name? Is there any chance you could temporarily rehome your dog, and then later get your dog back if your living situation changes? Years ago when I sold my house and moved hundreds of miles away to go to grad school, I advertised for a "foster family," near the school the schoo I was attending, stating that I'd assume responsibility for my dogs care (providing for her food, vet/health needs, & daily walks), & that worked out great for the short-term (6-9 months) until I could afford/get settled in an apt that was pet-friendly. Beauti, you would be surprised at how generous, understanding, and caring other pet/dog-lovers can be!!! Is there any way you might be able to move somewhere that allows dogs? I have been very fortunate to find landlords who are dog fans, because I can't imagine trying to get by day-to-day without my faithful comrades, & loyal companions. My therapy dog, who I had for 17 and a half years, died this past Nov., and I miss her so much. I sure hope there is someway you can keep your dog, or rehome her with someone you know &/or with someone who will let you come visit your dog. Let me know how things work out. Know I am keeping you in thought at this difficult time & I very much understand what it's like to lose interest in everything. I had the day off work & barely had the motivation to eat a meal, brush my hair, or change my clothes. My enduring depression has slowly dissolved my interest in everything except sleeping. Hang in there with me, though, because I know from my own experience, that depression bouts do lift, & interests do return. You can get thru this 💜
@caterpillargirl
Don"t mean to intrude on this conversation, But would like to give you something that maybe helpful.
I was told to go to the Mental Health office and request an appointment with one of the doctors.. I explained how important my dog was in my life. He wrote me a prescription to take to my landlord that allowed my dog to live anywhere I did. Like a Service Dog. You can also apply for a Service Dog certificate and your dog will be allowed anywhere you go.You can go on the web and look up Service Dod qualifications and an application is there online.
Today's questions and entry really surprised me in a pleasant way, well done and thanks for this crucial reminder!It really is very beneficial to do things that we love, enjoy doing and get some breather from all that's going on.
I love to go for walks on my own, especially to the beach.Painting and journaling with my glitter pains, brainstorming, writing is something I find very needed and helpful as well.Thing I started to do daily is to have a me time.I sit down, put everything else on pause and spend some quality time with myself whilst having some drink, favorite songs playing and let all that's going on to soak in.It's very crucial for me to reflect so that's also time for that.Traveling is a huge passion of my own, going somewhere new and exploring no matter whether it's very near or far.Writing a gratitude journal daily is also something I love doing...It helps with perspective and helps me to remember that despite things being very bad in the past, today is better and each day brings so much positivity and happiness-even hardest days have some silver lining.Oh...and watching movies, reading books.:) Lots and lots to enjoy and do overall.Really happy that am able to live my life like this, experience it very deeply and richly emotionally.
Wholehearted living.I love this definition of it by Brene Brown:
@Morfo66 Wow those are all realy lovely activities. I'm most interested in the gratitude journal, I think I may try starting to do that as well. Ending each day thinking about the positives, that sounds really nice!! And what a good quote, great reminder ^^
@Hoxenos
Very happy to hear that you found this quote useful!^^ Starting a gratitude journal is indeed very worth it imo, give it a try and see how it goes, good luck and have fun with it!For me it's almost 170 days in a row now and it has become a habit, daily must do.:D :)
@Hoxenos
Hello Hoxenos and all.
Language learning, programming, and shodo can get me pretty lost for time. And yeah, video games for sure. My most prominent entertainment! I used to play FF14 awhile back, was pretty good at healing. Tried to go back into it but I just wasn't feeling it. Felt really troubling. Hard to socialize. Even moved to the most populated server to start again, but nah. Ended up getting pretty worn out by my socialization, some of them were really good writing sessions, but it felt exhausting trying to write a whole ton of stuff and being bound by the lore of the game. So I ended up hanging out in the casino and playing card games by myself. XD That also happened to me in PSO2. Kinda miss it! Stuff like that's fun when you have your own posse or at least one friend to hang with and bear the burden of the daily dungeon runs and such. Oh! Just remembered, I also do some beta testing on games when I get the chance to sign up.
I play mostly offline gains now, except for Onmyoji and Animal Crossing Pocket Camp. Big RPG fan. A lot of good titles are coming over from the PS4 to the Switch. Yay!
....mn, but sometimes it's easy to get lost in those things and I get all disassociative or depressed and end up finishing a game in like a week or two because of playing it nonstop. X_X; Gotten better about this. Still...
@CaloenasNicobarica I love duolingooooooo! It's helped me so much with my spanish and french! I've also been learning a type of programming, but web development not software. I love how much free help there is online for learning these skills ^^
I lose track of time when I play Stardew Valley. By the end of the night I'm thinking about the next morning but you can only save overnight. "Just one more day I suppose" and before I know it, 20 hours have passed!!
I'm currently playing an MMO called Albion Online. I like healing in it as well!! It has both social aspects and solitary things. Like I haven't felt super social the last few days so I've just been gathering (a la runescape), and perusing global chat if I feel like it. It's guild heavy, but I do like doing dungeon runs when I feel like it. There's a lot of options for things to do in that game, I enjoy it.
@Hoxenos
Hello!! !
I love reading, and singing, and one thing I really, REALLY love doing is writing lyrics or poems. I adore it. I just want to keep going, and keep writing until they're done. It's just so fun for me. I also really like to do things that are active outdoors. I like to do things with other people that are fun like camping and hiking and cooking meals together. Ummm.... I am not really sure what else.... I mean, I love rapping! And speaking - I love speaking about things I am passionate about, or writing them, or singing them except my skills at singing I always wanted to be better enough to express the way I'd like.
Anyways, I like writing! Lyrics/poetry.
Cheers thanks for asking
@singercrystalspirit Writing and poetry Great choices! What is it about poetry that you find you like the best? Is it about the emotions, telling a story? Or is it more like a puzzle, finding the perfect word for each part? Or a little bit of collumn A, little of collumn B haha
Speaking about interests and passions is a criminally underrated passtime haha. I'm not sure anything really ENERGIZES me like talking about my favourite book series or about a period in history that I know a lot about! I'm a bit of a teacher at heart so I find I turn passionate speeches into lectures sometimes haha >.< But it makes me happy!! So it's ok :D
@Hoxenos
I like how I get into a rhythm and a flow, and the words just come, and they rhyme, and they go to a beat or a rhythm, and they just flow. It feels good. And finding the perfect word to fit, both in meaning and in sound, is just, ah it's so great! So yeah, it's both! They have to mean something, and they also have to flow, just right. It's just so... satisfying and perfect, like they were meant to be.
Lol!! There is NOOOOTHING better than talking with people about their interests and passions! And watching people light up! And getting to light up yourself!
What kind of book series do you like, and what are your favorite periods in history? I'm so intrigued!
@singercrystalspirit There have been a few times where I did actually really put myself into some poetry and so I think I've tasted some of the sweet elixer that you're talking about, but I think I lack confidence to get something rewarding out of it, like the perfectionist in me won't let me find my poetry perfect. Ever.
Oh gosh I don't want to assault you with a wall of text about my favourite things, so I'll just talk about the Night Angel books. I fell in love with them after high school. I used to skip school a lot and go to the library to read, all day every day. I was reading about one novel per day and probably read more before I was 18 than most people will read in a lifetime. I found myself starting to get bored because I was predicting endings within the first few chapters... or my ending that I made up was better and I got really disappointed haha. There are just so many patterns in writing... and I've always been really good at predicting patterns. Anywho, these books blew me away. They are really nothing like anything I've read. So clever, so many twists and turns. They are unfortunately VERY dark and would have many triggers for trauma survivors. But I just found the characters to be so real. As opposed to many books where characters make decisions to further the plot... these characters have deep psychological reasons for everything they do. After the book there's a Q&A where he explains that his wife works with abuse survivors and it just seemed like he really understood people. They are about a master assassin and politics and war so there is a lot of brutal killing... but so many things are connected that you don't expect and he like never quite gives you enough information so that you can prepare yourself for what's coming. I could go on and on haha. I generally love fantasy but these are the best books I've read ^^
Do you have a favourite book series? Or perhaps a favourite poet?
@Hoxenos
Wow, you sound like you would be a great writer. You make me realize that I do not have the background to write novels.
I always loved T.S. Eliot very deeply. I wrote a parallax to his poem "The Wasteland" when I was in college, and took photography to go along with it. I named it "Flight." And for lyricists, Bob Dylan. And for songwriters, I always admired the personality of John Lennon.
I'd like to get some females in there, as I'm a female hahahaha.
@Hoxenos
@Hoxenos
Hi Hox, I have been so stuck in a deep depression, & lived so socially isolated for the past several years that I don't know what I enjoy anymore. I grieve the loss of my interest in things (hobbies, enjoyable activities, social involvement of any kind) as if it were an eXtremely close friend who died a tragic death). I know from having treatment-resistant depression most of my life, that when the weight of my depression lifts, some of my interests gradually return. But it seems shortly after I begin to get back into a hobby, or sign up for a special interest class or group, a new, bigger, heavier, bout of depression comes crashing down on me out of nowhere, crushing every iota of interest I have in being alive. And then, most of my physical, mental, & emotional energy goes into getting up, going through the motions of minimal personal cares, and showing up (to work & doctor appts). I know what some of my interest use to be, but many of them seem long lost after I lost most everything I had 3+ years ago. No longer having a car to get to places I enjoyed going to, or having a job that pays enough to afford hobby related things (art, craft, & carpentry supplies, $ for special interest classes, & fun activities, outings, etc). There are things I can do at home, like read, watch local television programming (which is very limited, show-wise, but I cannot afford cable or other satellite TV packages), connect with others on 7Cups, and research stuff, via my phone, on the internet. There are two things that at even make those things challenging, though, and they are: poor/short attention span, and low to no motivation/interest in doing much of anything...all zapped by my depression. There are some shows I enjoy, & that help distract me when I'm depressed (The Good Doctor ~b/c totally identify w/the lead character who has Autism, Chicago Fire, Chicago Med, Law & Order SUV, Elementary, & Criminal Minds). My favorite show use to be Criminal Minds...until I started using Uber, because as a smallish/petite female who lives alone, jumping into cars with total strangers (most male) is scary/creepy enough without watching more Criminal Mind episodes & broadening my understanding of how twisted and perverse humans can be 😱. I did have a small "interest-reunion" of sorts over the weekend 😊 My antique bed frame broke a month ago & I had to rebuild the rail supports and saw some new bed slats for added support. Anyway, while fixing my bed this weekend I remembered how much I enjoy carpentry projects. I use to enjoy riding my bike & going for walks, but since losing my car, I no longer enjoy doing either activity because I " have to do these activities far more than I desire..just to get around. If I can afford to in the future, I'd like to buy & learn to play the Ukulele.
@caterpillargirl
Aw Cat. I kind fo know that feeling of not having access to activities you love. I used to be a very avid snowboarder. I spent more than 100 days on snow per year for about 8 years. I taught it and taught it well, loved my work loved everything. Not having a car and trying to snowboard is basically impossible. Unless you live in a ski town there's simply no shuttle service to hills and it's quite sad. One day when I get a license I will definitely get back into teaching. I also moved away from my piano, which I spent at least 2 horus a day practising until I was 18. I miss it bundles.
What I had to do was adjust my activities, find new ones that worked for my situation. I know it can be kind of draining, but perhaps googling something as simple as "list of activities" and trying one out. Youtube is really good for learning new skills from your house when you're not feeling social. I hope you find something that inspires you Cat :) I know you will ^^
I enjoyed singing, sewing, writing, creating and doing DIY projects. I also am trying to be an inventer, Have a couple of inventions that I am waiting for Pattens.
Lost my interest and motivation.
Sure things will change
Holy smokes that's a lot of questions to answer haha
1) Hobbies: Oh goodness. Martial arts, horseback riding, cake decorating and....needlepoint? haha
2) What makes time stop for me: Music, cake decorating certain books, and a select few tv shows
3) Things I Iove doing: Cake decorating, Horseback riding, listening to music, reading, writing, watching people, cooking, drinking coffee, making people happy etc.
4) Interests : People, Baking, cooking, horseback riding reading
5) Do I prioritize things that make me happy? The short answer is no. the longer answer is okayyyy, sometimes. I don't have a lot of routine in my life currently but the bits I do have... I guard with my life. You wanna have coffee early sunday afternoon? forget it. that is my time to go and have coffee with myself and it's the best part of my week so don't you dare come near it. (I'm way nicer about this in a face to face situation haha)
6) How is my day going? Some good some bad. I had decent coffee for working this morning for a change, I had to get up even earlier than I usually do to get it though. I went to work, but I'm still groaning from the 50% cut in hours I got for a new years present.
