Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check In - Saturday July 8th 2017
It's the weekend! I know some of you may work the weekend, but it's often thought of as a time when we can take a break, let loose, relax and enjoy ourselves. So how about a game? Pass the parcel was always a party game favourite of mine.
I wonder how good your visualisation is? Can you take an empty box, pour into it all that worries you, hurts you, or holds you back. Wrap it up in several layers, start the music, and pass it on. Just let it go, however briefly. Visualise yourself as free. A new beginning. Does it feel nice to be free of that burden? Is there someone you could give that burden to more long term. Perhaps someone who deserves it more than you? Or who can share the load? Will you join me in my pass the parcel game?
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@agreeablekite4304
I'm inviting you to my party. Time for pass the parcel. Choose your music, load your parcel with all the rubbish you need to let go of, and pass it to me. I have it, don't worry.
Now you're free to be the funny, caring, thoughtful soul we all know. But today you're free of the hurt and pain. Now you can invite someone else to the party. Who will that be?
I would invite @agreeableKite4304, but you've done that already, so I'll invite @themainjane :)
@BeeLeigh
Great choice. Jane is so good at articulating herself. And I detect something of a party animal :)
So Bee, are you joining in? I have a box for you to fill, tracks to play. Can you shed the load today?
How would it feel to be free of that burden? Are there ways you can leave it permanently behind, or perhaps for you give that burden back to those who deserve it. Which isn't you by the way!
@DeborahUK
yes, I've had my share of parties. But part of what I'm sending up in my balloon (which is red in honor of the short film: The Red Balloon) is some of my old way of doing things. I wrote it on my feed today and will add it here:
I will not revel in my weakness. The time for vice is over.
I will cry when something is sad and I will smile when something is good. I will laugh when something is funny.
I will learn to speak the truth and see the truth in myself.
I will not be given to artificial strong emotions or sensationalism because the time for vice is over. The time for vice is coming to an end.
I will find my true self and honor it.
@themainjane
@DeborahUK
❤🎈❤
@DeborahUK
Honestly....I've been working on freeing myself for a while...but I always kinda withdraw back into myself and pull everything back in as soon as anything is let out.
But...this last week or so I've been pushed a lot more than normal and...I think I've actually let some things stay out instead of pulling everything back in.
It feels really good. I have "homework" that I have to do three times a day. I've been trying to push myself more too, and I just...I feel like...well...I want to say "I don't know", but I'm not supposed to say that...soooo...I feel...more positive? Less negative? Are those the same thing? I feel like I can actually do this.
@BeeLeigh
Oh wow Bee, that is great to hear. Tentative maybe, but definitely progress.
And great credit to you for pushing yourself. I read there are three C's in life - choice, chance and change. Personally I thought they were chocolate, cider and chips! But no, you must make a choice to take a chance, if you wish to see a change. It sounds like you're doing just that, and it's starting to pay off. Well done!
@BeeLeigh
Thanks, Bee.
I would like to invite @Avaray
@themainjane
And Jane, how about packing all your burdens up into that box, wrapping them up tightly, and leaving them in my safe keeping. How would life be different? What would your freedom from carrying that weight look like?
@DeborahUK
I don't know. But I have hope that I'm working towards releasing them and hopefully no person- or at least no one person- will shoulder them all.
Wow I really like this exercise. I am going to save it and practice it again later. I was able to let it go, for a little while!
@singercrystalspirit
Even a little respite is better than none at all. So often people who have experienced trauma will shoulder the blame for it themselves. That's wrong in itself, as so often the blame lies elsewhere. But even in the unlikely event you had a part to play, how long must you shoulder that burden for? Even the very worst offenders in our society seldom serve sentences longer than 25 years. Yet people affected by trauma carry that burden for year, after year, after year, after year.
Well here's the thing. It's wrong to serve a life sentence for someone else's actions. So when do you let it go? When do you claim your freedom?
@DeborahUK
I love your response. It is so hard to let go of the burden I feel when I do not even know what to attribute it to; when I am unclear what my trauma was; .... it's much easier to default to there being something "wrong" with me, or things being "my fault", when I don't know what the wrong was or why or what happened that hurt me and whether it was a wrong.
@singercrystalspirit
How about if you don't know what caused you to hurt, just letting go of the hurt instead? A new start for yourself, of positive thinking, positive affirmation, self compassion and self belief. Something to set your sights on?
@DeborahUK
Thank you :) I can try that.
You don't need a special invite to join in you know. For any person reading this, not knowing what to say or how to say it; Who has a story they find too overwhelming to talk about; Who feels weighed down and doesn't know how to escape the burden they carry - You're all welcome here.
You can share as much or as little as you wish. But understand this. Often the things we least want to talk about are the things we most need to offload.
DeborahUK: "Even the very worst offenders in our society seldom serve sentences longer than 25 years."
" Yet people affected by trauma carry that burden for year, after year, after year, after year.
Well here's the thing. It's wrong to serve a life sentence for someone else's actions. So when do you let it go? When do you claim your freedom?"
Thank you for this. Truly something to consider. It's logical, makes sense. I feel a hint of freedom in this?
@themainjane
I won't claim those words as my own Jane, but they certainly helped me enormously. I hope they help you too ❤️
We won't have internet for another 48 to 72 hours because the company is upgrading cables. I'll be back as soon as I can.
Mary
It's getting late here in the UK. The day is drawing to a close. For all of you who have put those burdens in a box for today, it'll soon be time to think about opening that box again. Picking up those burdens, trudging onwards with them. But do you have to do that?
What in that box can you let go of right now? Guilt that doesn't belong to you, shame that should be felt by others, feelings that you've carried for years and you deserve some respite from, worries about stuff that may never happen, regrets that won't change by carrying them around.
Really look hard at the contents of that box, look at its contents with wide open eyes, take your blinkers off, view it from another perspective, show yourself some of the compassion and care you reserve for others. Only pick back up the burdens that you feel unable to let go of right now. The rest of it, leave it behind.
@KLM3278 @BeeLeigh @agreeableKite4304 @themainjane @singercrystalspirit @TreesandWine @melliotm
@DeborahUK
No, I don't want it back. Throw it away. I can't give things back to their proper owners cuz there's too many of them and they live all over the place. It'd take me forever to give everyone back all the pain and shame they've given me over the years. And I'm going on vacation in a week, so that's just not happening. Burn it for all I care. Burn the box with all of them in it. I've got to keep cleaning my apartment so I'm not coming home to a mess when we get back 😎
@BeeLeigh
@DeborahUK
I don't know...there's a lot of people that need to fit in there. Maybe more like a whole building? 
Not ready to let go yet. I need to own that it's my experience. I've spent the last 20 years fighting what I knew was true. That I am an abuse survivor and belong in the trauma/PTSD community. Before this morning, I literally couldn't fit myself into that narrative, into those labels. I knew but I didn't accept it.
Not ready to let go yet. I need to own that it's my experience. I've spent the last 20 years fighting what I knew was true. That I am an abuse survivor and belong in the trauma/PTSD community. Before this morning, I literally couldn't fit myself into that narrative, into those labels. I knew but I didn't accept it.
@Mellybelly
HUG!!!!!! I'm glad you're here. It's been helping me a lot! And it can help you to!! HUG!!
