Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-In Sunday June 3rd 2018
Good Morning Alle, I hope everyone is doing well.
I awoke this morning silent and still. As I recited my vows and put my tork on it began to rain. I geared up and headed outside to sing my prayers and greet the sun. It was so quiet except for the rain. Alle were silent and so I too sat and watched. As first light came in I could see 3 deer in the middle pasture. Birds sat high in the trees awaiting their werm. I melted into the earth and became part of it. The deer passed right by me as they left, so close yet they didn't see nor smell me. I couldn't resist barking out a good "BOO" lol. They jumped high in the aer an took off. My laughter broke the silence for alle and the birds began chirping, the dogs barking, and our horse Sif started demanding her morning hay (such a greedy one she is lol). As I came back in I reflected on the stillness. I thought there is always some chaotic factor that creates change. A pebble makes a ripple on still water, a spark ignites the hearth, heat makes the icecream cones melt. Today I was the chaos in the stillness, Loki if you will lol. Perhaps I broke the silence of the morning, but Sif got her hay early, I taught some deer a lession in paying attention, and I made it ok for the birds to sing. An interesting beginning to the day.
How are you and how is your world today? This space is yours, drop us a phost an tell us of your world. 
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I suddenly began to feel very lonely. My mind is sick and I havent figured out how to find the right help. Theres a lot I do on my own but I really need support from other humans. I was seeing a therapist but it didnt feel right so I stopped going. I felt like I was being judged and misunderstood and like I was an annoyance to her. Im pushing away all my friends because I cant trust them. My illness tells me Ill never be safe with them or anyone and that Im no good to anyone. Its hard the nights I work because Im up all night alone with my thoughts. I cant wait to go home and escape into my dreams
@Venuxlove Hugs my friend. Way I see it, everyone has both a sick mind and a healthy mind. We can't fight with our sick mind. We can't argue with it, we can't teach it nor convince it of anything. Alle we can do with our sick mind is learn from it, and comfort it some, then divert ourselves back to our healthy mind and carry on. I do know well the long lonely hours, and the sick part that causes me to be suspicious and hate everyone. When I see I am falling into this mode, I put on some loud thumping musik an jump about like a lunachick shaking my bummie. Don't give your sick mind so much power hon, it's there an we alle have one but it's not to be the one in command. Hugs my friend, may you find peace and comfort. 
@Venuxlove
Oh I'm so sorry you're going through this. Pleaee believe the truth, you're not alone. I think lies get whispered into our ears and heads, that we are worthless or alone, etc. But it isn't true! You deserve to be heard and have support. I hope you can try again with a counselor. Because you are worth that effort! ❤️ There is no rush on healing!! Go at your pace and know that we are here to support you with each step you take! Praying for you tonight. ❤️
@Raveninthelabrynth
hi
How are you and how is your world today? This space is yours, drop us a phost an tell us of your world. 
a phost ?what that means ? o_o
enyway I feel fine get conected with all my feels..
than when felt a bit uncomfy choose to do things with love...
a bit insecure but that's just me
...but doing otherwise great..birds singininf hot outside..hardly wait summer


https://bdfjade.com/wp/5793511.html
@Raveninthelabrynth this post gives me an image of Snow white singing and all of the birds and animals flocking around her *giggle*
I sort of echo the feeling of creating chaos in a way as well. I long for a feeling of peace but am sort of dreding up old wounds. I have somewhat been procrastinating on going in to the courthouse and starting some legal applications to make some orders enforceable with my ex husband.
I am supposed to be returning to work in July now and I have just contacted the police and spoke about going in to report something from 25 years ago. I have decided to finally do this and get it out of the way before I return to work. This in a way feels a bit chaotic but necessary in my healing process to move on. I do not know what exactly it might unleash though. It could possibly bring forth an actual trial for all I know and could potentially end up being extremely stressful.... or it might not. I don't know. But, I do feel like I have to do it at some point so it may as well be now.
@purpleWest8143 Hej West, iffin ye wish animals to flock you and follow you like the babi raptors in jurassic park, just carry some feed out there lol.
M sorry you must walk this path hon, this is a difficult one indeed but it is what will set you free. We alle have to walk through some harsh stuff every now an then. Face it boldly hon you will survive this and be done with it. Always around if you need or wish. 
@Raveninthelabrynth thank you raven ❤️
@purpleWest8143
I don't know the situation but I do know you sound strong enough to do whatever needs to me done!! Thank you for sharing your journey - remember you're not alone!!!! ❤️❤️
@KLM3278 thank you for your support- I need to keep telling myself Im strong enough to do this 😉
@purpleWest8143
I have to keep telling myself this same thing everyday!!! But WE ARE strong enough to do what needs to be done!!! ❤️❤️ I hope you have a good day today and that things begin to feel lighter for you. ❤️
@KLM3278 yes we are 😉 hope you have a good day too!