Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in: Monday October 22nd
Good Morning Trauma Community!
I hope you had a restful weekend full of self-care.
Today, let's talk about ground rules. This article is talking about ground rules for working with those who have been through traumatic expreriences, but I think it can be applied to all of us here as we interact with and respond to one another as well.
1. Respect
2. Say what you mean. Mean what you say.
3. Be Intentional
4. Show up and be present.
5. Listen, acknowledge and validate.
6. When someone opens up and confides in you, thank them.
7. Never share someone's story without their permission.
8. Don't assume or compare.
9. Ask before giving advice.
10. Survivors are more than their trauma.
- What do you think about these ground rules?
- Are there any you would add that others should know before talking with someone who has been through traumatic experiences?
- How can we use these to improve our interactions here in the 7 Cups Community?
Share your thoughts, share how your weekend went, or just say hi. 
@InvaderStitch @redmark @Avaray @Shadeshack @BeeLeigh @Faeryschild @Lavendermoonlight @KLM3278 @jr50 @PhoenixPatronus @Morfo66 @raychascotch @KatieMoon1 @Tamba @Jenna0903 @melliotm @PanamaBanana @inventiveOrange1 @HearingYourHeart @TreesandWine @guyb @Sharkradio @MKjart @Lilyflower0817 @caterpillargirl @Survivetoalive @exuberantTriangle2562 @coraline23 @Ivorycat5573 @fearlessPear8268 @SemicolonSurvivor @weare1 @weareall1 @Annaka1 @moonchild95 @summernight69 @sheaintgotnoshoes @rationalWillow8882 @AMusicalSilence @catsith @energeticPenny8 @Rebekahwriter13 @behindhazeleyes @sensitiveShade5337 @singercrystalspirit @wittyTree8219 @Ocendade @Rpjrx @Brooke12 @Axeman53 @kkSp3nc3 @Softforesthsp77 @AriannaPink @sereneSoul23 @promisemehope @IPreferWinter @Zombii @Godborned @Jessica86 @resourcefulPond1641 @Lilibuth12 @Tir @Michelle0608 @The_Final_Chapter @Halogen @BubblegumPuppy68 @ScarletPear1945 @CaloenasNicobarica @Hoxenos @Christine1980 @TheresaWilliams @Compassionatelistener108 @LovelyChantel @unassumingSummer6022 @Reedrainshimmer @resourcefulPond1642 @Kuma0187 @NonHoPaura @courageousNorth9872 @NacienteLuz @Helpfulsoul64 @TheHoneyDoll @Saif1for1Resilience @butters45 @purpleWest8143 @silverIceCream21 @Dandelionmoon @Bumblebee16 @consciousawakening @Shaiya365 @archerzvy @JJi @CopingwithTrauma @musicheals61 @disneynerd23 @Longday08 @sittinginahoneymoon @Quietbeach @loyalYard9488 @thatdramaticsoprano @understandingJackfruit9057 @amiableZebra3993 @Waterstreams057 @placidFriend3007 @AndreT @orchard9786 @sociableSailboat9634 @Calmlake1999 @emotionalMaple9419 @calmballoon3183 @disneynerd23 @MomRNFNP @Pdanziger @easymap6620 @MoreThanAConqueror18 @candyhaunt @namelessgirl99 @plumLake851 @streamoftears @quixoticRaven @Redhawk6547 @Sk1ttles @Shayc1 @Samdoc99 @Mikathewolfdog @Tacomytaco @stella17 @blinkk @PaperCrane1123 @Equalnotabove @felicia96 @CartoonDarling @Tayboi @Compassion21 @lilblackcat89 @ashes @selfdisciplinedTriangle5384 @amiableSummer3420 @FangsInsanity @Anj0806 @Spoonog @rissadawn @brokenflutterby @g00dwitch @No715 @SpruceRaven @tidyMoon3222 @helpfulHuman4992 @Djs3 @dynamicHemlock1736 @Hope3729 @hardworkingStrawberries3477 @courageousCake401 @humorousBeing8966 @NancySV1 @mysticPhoenix883 @oceanmom @gymnast9460 @Nonbinarywaffle7706 @Tbeth @felixfriend @Chels @8883ef @DaisyLion @forcefulSkies @spotthedot @Alcynically @ArianaMay @SB @J12g34 @FloweringBunny @loyalDrum2337 @nolongerafraid @CaringBrit @Ambrosia @practicalIdeal2007 @incompl @Raveninthelabrynth
@Kate
Ill just pop in and say hi!
Im going back to hiding in the warm cave I have found
@sensitiveShade5337
*Waves* heya!
@summertimeSamness
Hi Samantha
@Kate
hello beauty my weekend was awful mostly... i just saw my therapist and she really didnt say much about what i did ... i just shut down ...
@Hope7879 Good morning! I'm glad to see you here. Hoping this week goes better for you.
@Kate
me too
@Kate
Thanks for sharing the ground rules! I never heard of those before but I think they go good with active listening skills and would be helpful for everyone. I will try to use them in my interactions on 7cups
I don't understand what Be Intentional means though. I tried to read it but I don't get it
@summertimeSamness I think being intentional means like making sure we are aware of the consequences of our words before we say them. Making sure we mean what we are saying and knowing if it may get taken out of context. That's what I'm thinking about it at least, but think it's open to interpretation.
@Kate I really like rules. Rules create boundaries and boundaries can create safety. I read the article and I agree with these rules. Thank you for sharing this with us.
@practicalIdeal2007 Thanks for checking in today!
@Kate
- Are there any you would add that others should know before talking with someone who has been through traumatic experiences?
Hm to be compasionate know person been true difficult time..
- How can we use these to improve our interactions here in the 7 Cups Community?
I think ppl here are polite
Share your thoughts, share how your weekend went, or just say hi.
I bit was more just imposlive and let go
@conscientiousPineapple1782 Being compassionate is definitely important! Thanks for saying hi today. Hope your week is a good one!
@Kate
Something scary happened to me on Saturday and I'm not sure how to move forward :(
@incompl Oh no! Let us know if we can help. Sending you a hug if you want one.
@Kate
I was hanging out with friends but I had a migraine so I wasn't all there. This guy got really close to me and at first it didn't bother me (we have all been friends for a while and I don't really have a personal bubble) but I started to pick up on his intentions and it made me really comfortable. He ended up taking me home and tried to come inside with me and commented that I don't lock my door (my roommate was home) so I just kind of blurted my roommate was home and went inside and locked the door. My friends were messaging me in a panic asking if I was ok and everything and they told me a lot of things they observed that I hadn't noticed and then next day he kept messaging me to hang out with him alone. I said no and I feel like I should talk to him about it but I'm also scared.
@incompl It sounds like he is crossing your boundaries and coming into your non-physical 'bubble space.' Saying no that you don't want to hang out with him should be enough and he should accept that.
@Kate
Thank you. I am working through it. It can be difficult to regain trust once a boundary has been crossed :(
I havent posted in a while. Not really sure why. Felt depressed pretty much for weeks. I hope everyone is doing okay and Ill try to get back to posting more often!
I had my first trauma counselling today and it went well! We didnt talk much about the actual trauma, were going to build up to it. She challenged some of the negative beliefs I have about myself which was really helpful. I needed that.
@asheroo92 Nice to see you here! Great to hear that counseling went well today!
@Kate
thanks Kate! I had a walk along the beach back into town afterwards which was calming and helped clear my head
@Kate
I like those ground rules...they all seem appropriate. Maybe one more would be to not push on topics that the survivor doesn't want to/feel able to talk about. I am sure that most people know this already...I know that trying to get me to talk when I feel I can't will cause me to switch and that can leave me unstable for awhile.
I hope everyone had a great weekend.
@TeenyTinyAppy
Oh that's a good one to add!
@TeenyTinyAppy
That's a really good one to add
1. Respect (If you can't understand or may be rude just being there can be support enough, instead of saying the wrong thing #4)
2. Say what you mean. Mean what you say. (Be patient because my traumas can be really overwhelming and confusing.)
3. Be Intentional
4. Show up and be present.
5. Listen, acknowledge and validate.
6. When someone opens up and confides in you, thank them.
7. Never share someone's story without their permission.
8. Don't assume or compare.
9. Ask before giving advice.
10. Survivors are more than their trauma.
- What do you think about these ground rules? (They are a start, some days are good and some have issues.)
- Are there any you would add that others should know before talking with someone who has been through traumatic experiences? (Remember it takes time, repeat comforting and encouraging)
- How can we use these to improve our interactions here in the 7 Cups Community? (More encouragement)
@Rebekahwriter13 Patience is a great one to add! Hope you found the article interesting!
@Kate
Thank you.
