Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Thursday 23rd August 2018

@rozie

I don't always feel like it but yes, I agree on excercise. I cycle everywhere if I can reach it within an hour.

I play tabletennis. It does not sound very intensive but it is.

I love water so I like swimming and canoeing and kayaking.

But I can be lazy too

I haven

@rozie

Hello!

I miss exercising so much, but every Thursday there's a group of people in my hometown, where through Facebook invite everyone to join their bike rides with loud music around the city. It's an awesome activity and great for something relaxing to do but also have a glimpse of exercise. So I'm gonna be going today too with a friend!

Im overall doing okay l, been on some free trial online therapy so I'm working on few things and I'm working on something else which excites me!

My mom went into surgery for a hernia on Tuesday, and it went well, I stayed with her since then, but I keep getting stomach pain. I am barely sleeping and I feel I am more in the nurses way than helping.

I got a ride to go home, but now I'm in a full out panic attack that I'm abandoning my mom. If i stay, health, i feel i am going to get worst as i have health issues of my own, but i know that my mom needs me.

I have no friend that I can simply talk to about this. Can someone tell I'm ok for trying to take care of myself?

@rozie

Exercise is a hard one for me. I loved playing sports when I was a kid and teenager but I got so out of shape that it's hard for me to get back into anything. Walking, jogging, or solo exercise activities don't do it for me. But when I was in the hospital recently I kicked a soccer ball back and forth with another patient and we had a blast. We were kicking to each other, but also making eachother work for it too. Then one of the rec therapists had us play chair volleyball. There was a net and a beach ball and we could not get out of our chairs. But by the third round another patient and myself were the only two left so we could get up if we had to, but the competition and the focus on something else was so much fun. I would love to do something like yoga or even just be able to enjoy going for a walk, but I have to have plenty of distractions because I either start beating myself up about how I'm not flexible and how out of shape I am, or I start to notice all of the pain I have in my body (I dissociate from my body so much that I don't feel pain unless I have no way to escape being present with my own body. I hate body scans and progressive muscle relaxations because I don't like being aware of what my body feels--I've been told it's part of my PTSD.

I will be moving soon and I can't wait because I'm needing a fresh start, but one thing I am really hoping to do is take up kick boxing. I also have been thinking about going to a batting cage becausse I used to play softball. I am needing to get more active and it would be nice if I had other people to be more active with, but hopefully when I move I am not as depressed and I woun't have as many PTSD triggers and I can get back to my old self again.

I don't really want to talk about exercising or eating or anything like that

But things are so stressful here. I just want my mom and sister to be safe and with me I don't care where we live

Also I'm learning more and more how much my mom gave up for us. We really wouldn't have survived without her.

My job keeps me pretty active, but i do miss working out. Im a swimmer at heart, nothing better than laps in the pool, cant hear anything, nothing to look at. I also really like lifting. I work with athletes so theres some pressure to look the part i guess. But really like 6 months ago i was doing so well, taking a yoga class, lifting a few times a week, swimming once a week. It all kind of went down the toilet when i hurt my hip (or reinjured it i guess). I tried to keep lifting, but i pretty much had to limp around the gym. I ended up stopping so i could heal. I miss it. But now im not really eating enough to be working out. So thats why i havent been. It takes away a huge release for me, which is probably part of the reason ive been turning to other, non healthy ways of coping. It makes me sad to talk about, because it was really one of the only things i ever really did just for me, ya know? Anyways, health, fitness, and nutrition are pretty much what i do for a living ironically so if i can ever help anyone who has questions let me know.

*groaning* *rolls over in bed*

In all seriousness though, I'm hoping very soon, when I'm not in a place that suffocates me, I can be more active. For my health. I'll have to do something that I enjoy and like. Blah blah blah I'm not paying any money tyvm, and it's difficult to do stuff when you're working 12+ hours a day and/or being annoyed by people constantly judging you to your face and/or being pushed across the street when you're going for a run because your running partner you didn't ask for/Manchild doesn't like that you dare to be ahead of him.

I would have loved to be able to do more in terms of active stuff with my dog, that would have been nice, but reasons. Also, unfortunately, my dog developed leg/joint problems at a relatively early age.

I'd like to challenge myself with hiking. I wouldn't say I'm scared of heights exactly...

Hi. I used to go for walks around a pond near me. I thought being around nature would help. It seemed like I just had more time to think. I probably need to get back into it. I'm in a different place now so maybe it would be more helpful this time around.

Hello everyone:

Just sitting here reading all the post. As I read the post my mind began to reflect on past memories. As I myself have been in some type of weird mental state. I saw my reflection a lot of the same thoughts. I am not a pretty woman, yet I am who God created. Despite how people see me r what they think or say, I by far am my own worst critic.

The Bible tells me that I am made wonderfully. My head tells me that is a lie. I recall many days I would not leave out the door because people were outside and I was afraid they would make fun of me and call me names. So I would stand peeping out the little hold to see if and when the people were gone so I could make a dash to my car. When people saw me they would make statements like: Are you hungry and suffering from malnutrition, or who will take the lady with the skinny legs. My mom would say I looked like Olivoil off of Popeye She would feed me Weight On. My dad would tell me he knew what I was going to be and when I asked what? He would say A school teacher because you already have your pencils. Someone else said I look like a Broomstick with clothes on.

So I have struggled with self-esteem issues all my life. I can not change what I look like but I can change how I allow those things to affect me. I began to bring my thoughts into CAPTIVITY silencing the noise in my head. I began to learn to accept me for who and what I am the good and the bad. Yes, I still have my setbacks at times and I gently steer myself back. Recognizing that Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. When my mindset changed I noticed a sway in the way other people perceived me. My beauty is not outward but my beauty lies within. When people can't see my beauty, I don't want nor need them in my life. Our lives are all so short that we don't have time to keep being imprisoned by what other people think or see. It's their loss, their issue

It took me a very long time to realize this, But ScarletPear is on her way. LOOK OUT WORLD