Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Thursday 5th October 2017
Greetings to you all!
How is your Thursday going for you? I've been thinking about this for a while now. There are circumstances in my life that are not going to change.....been struggling with this and getting a bit worn down and out of sorts over it. Then it dawned on me. What if I looked at these circumstances through a different lens? what difference would this make? And sure enough it does.The circumstances are still the same,but my perspective is different, so I can live more easily and positively with them..
Looking through a different lens offers a different perspective.Even a slightly different lens. And we have the power to change our perception.Instead of seeing a situation through the lens of fear, change to the lens of love, instead of frustration try the lens of patience. Instead of resistance change to the lens of acceptance.If we are unable to change the circumstances,we do have the option to change the lens through which we view and experience this.Simple and effective!
What are your reflections on this? How have you found looking through a different lens to be? Can you see a situation/circumstances where it could be helpful? Do you need support today.. just let us know.Love to hear from you. This is your space and a safe place. x
@rozie i try to look at things threw a differnt lens. im on these meds which i know is suppose to help me but i feel like by being on them i couldnt help myself its like im so dependent and i feel helpless cause i get tired and not function properly, i know people have my back and i love them for it i just need to feel like im not a burden on people.
@Jesse9675
I'm glad you try to look at things through a different lens.Sounds like the meds are affecting you so its not an easy time. Could you change the lens from" being a burden" to the "getting well" lens. Good to hear that you have great support around you.We're here with you too. x
@rozie im trying its not working :(
@Jesse9675
I'm praying for you. I understand that feeling like a burden is hard. I don't know, but I reall think no one who loves you thinks you are a burden. Please keep trying!!! And here is a HUG!!!!!!
@Jesse9675
I know that feeling but just keep in mind bat a lot of how you feel is just that, how you feel. And though your feelings feel very real, they are not always right. So you may feel like a burden but that doesnt mean that you are and Im sure the people that care about you dont feel that way about you and just want to see you are okay.
Also well done for taking the meds. Sounds like youre doing everything you need to do to make yourself better. You are stronger than you realize!
@WaterLily16
Thanks Lily! That is so true ... alot of how you feel is just that, how you feel. Hope your day is going well. x
@WaterLily16 have to for them so dont do bad stuff anymore
@Jesse9675
What are you saying here Jesse.. how can we help you?
@rozie sumthin happen last nite n im tryn to look at it threw a positive lens, it could of been worse so i get on with my day and just chill,
@Jesse9675
Good for you Jesse! x
@rozie sumthin happen last nite n im tryn to look at it threw a positive lens, it could of been worse so i get on with my day and just chill,
Okay - just throwing it out there that I am not doing well today at all.
I have not slept and its 330 am.
Horrible flashbacks that just shatter and change everything.
Lil me does know what to do - ( lil child part).
I am all alone.
I don't know what to do with these memories -
I can't get rid of them...
They change everything.
And so I just sit here with them flooding my brain as I stare at my screen all night, talking to no one, just putzing around on 7 cups, lonley and confused and lost.
I try to sleep and I can't.
Not to trigger, i'll say took " lots" of prescrition anxiety meds to sleep - and I still can't.
I don't know what to do...
I feel shattered.
@blissedNblessed
I'm sorry you're struggling. I wish I could make it better. I can't I know, but here is a HUG!!!! I will also pray for you. I understand what you're going through. Not sleeping is so hard & frustrating. Okay - one more - this time even BIGGER HUG!!!!
@KLM3278
ty
@blissedNblessed ❤️⛺ I'm sorry that you were having what sounds like an overwhelming time managing difficult emotions last night, bNb. Can empathize with how helpless one can feel when having flashbacks that corner you in the middle of the night and seemingly shatter you into a million shards. How are you doing today?
@melliotm
lil better.
talked it out.
still very ashsmed and embaressed and caotic.
sp tired with no sleepall i wanna do is hold teddy bears
but aunt yeliing atme to clean house.
might break
@blissedNblessed
Sorry you
@WaterLily16
Thanks, yes, i need to give msyelf more credidt <3
@blissedNblessed
Make sure you get to hold teddy bears today. Hug. x
@rozie
Hvse not had a chance to ey - but holding ALL THE TEDDY BEARS TONIGHT <3
@blissedNblessed
Good for you!
@rozie
thanks <3
@rozie
I really love this and I try, as much as possible, to always look at things through the right kind of lens. I feel its often easy (for me) to dramatise, Im always sort of on the edge of my seat, just sort of waiting for something bad to happen. Ive always been like this because of what Ive been through, its always been better to be prepared, aware and alert, but I realize that this state doesnt serve me anymore so Im learning (with time) to sort of relax a bit more and stop thinking worst case scenarios. Unfortunately its so much easier said than done, hence why I am the most anxious and panicked person I know... and the worst is that bad stuff will evidently happen, and when they do and I have been working on trying to be more relaxed about stuff, its a massive blow...
Anyway one thing that I find Im pretty good at is looking at things through a Love lens. Im a pretty loving person, in an ideal world Id like to be able to love everybody (but obviously this isnt an ideal world). But Im pretty forgiving and understanding and Im always wanting to give people second chances and believe in the good in people. I like to think that everyone is born good but life/circumstances/mental illnesses are what make people do bad/hurtful things.
Anyway thats a bit of my reflection on todays check in. :)
@WaterLily16
I think you make a very good point here when you say "this state is no longer serving me well." Suggest that this awareness may indicate that its time to change the lens.. to discard the old one... and learn to look through a new and different one..and as you say you're learning and in time... thats about being patient. We all need patience on this journey! x
Hi everyone,
I am happy that I will be able to speak with my mentor today. It has been a very long week. I really need a safe place to let these feelings just be present for a while.
I hope everyone is holding on and continuing to move forward. This is an amazing group of supportive individuals. You have definitely been a critical part of my healing process. 💛
@Compassionatelistener108
Glad you are getting to speak with your mentor today. Feel sure it will help to have this safe place after a long week. And thank you for your encouragement to us too. x
@rozie
Thank you soooo much. It was helpful to begin to sort out the feelings with a trusted individual in a safe place today. As usual, slowing down and taking time to heal seems to be difficult for me. Difficult not to feel like I have to fix everything or anything alone. One of those childhood lessons that I am working on. I am getting better at it. One step, one post and one supportive person at a time. It also helps knowing sharing my experience has some value to others. We are all different, but no longer alone.
@Compassionatelistener108
This is so true... We are all different , but no longer alone!
I'm only seeing through the lens of my ED today. It's strong. I don't even know why. I don't even feel like there's a trigger, except for just waking up this morning and putting on my clothing. There's no freedom from any of this, that's how I feel today - Meh!
@KatieMoon1
Youll be okay! Keep practicing self love, more and more every day. Keep being the loving, caring, compassionate, gentle person you wished others would be to you, but to yourself. And give yourself a break too. There is no need to be hard on yourself for things that are out of your control! <3
@WaterLily16
Thank you. <3
@rozie
Hello, Rozie and everyone.
Took a few days to do some self-care after that last check-in a few days ago. Feel a bit better. Today I go to my psych appointment and I'm not as worried or creeped out, but still pretty anxious. Just taking the day to study and relax with the kitties. Going pretty good so far.
Anyway, through another lens....
Y'know my therapy lately is pretty much this. As is my spirituality. Shifting the focus to empowerment and not focusing on the captivity of your situation. It can be really hard, I just wrote a line that was so negative and focused on being held in the situation that I felt sickened and erased it. Our words do affect us, so positive self-talk and negating the cruel inner bastard is important and a constant battle for me anyway. I've learned that reclaiming your power is first done by looking at your situation through the lens of a someone who has control and isn't that little kid anymore, by empowering yourself and kicking yourself out of those helpless habits. However, still remaining compassionate to yourself and not victim shaming or that kind of thing.
Personally, my struggle with self-help articles and therapy is the continual battle of almost blaming you for what's happened, and then essentially telling you to man/woman/person up to your situation and throttle it already. While I am happy for the vote of confidence, I think there needs to be a balance of forces here. Because some things WERE out of our control, some things ARE. But identifying what is ours and what is not ours is another thing that is a struggle after all these years.
Reframing and shifting one's perspective on situations has helped, but I think these things alone would not have. The child who has to struggle with these things and brings them to our adult or older minds is someone who we have to focus on as well. I have to let her know that I love her and that it's not her fault these things happened. Somewhere a balance must be found.
@CaloenasNicobarica
Glad you took a self care break. and sounds nice to have a relaxing day with kitties and some study. I agree that its about finding the balance.There is so much written and easily accessible,and knowledge and understanding is good. But we need to be discerning and take from it what fits for us. Love how you know to look after that little person. x
I GOT A CALL BACK!!!!! 😮🤗😃❤️❤️❤️
@KLM3278
Oh wow!
@rozie
Thank you!!!! I am SO happy & excited!!!!!!!
@KLM3278
Yayyyyyyy!!!!!! We knew you would KLM!!! 😁😁😁👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Having trouble staying grounded this morning. Difficult nights sleep, too much on my mind and have lots to do today. Am trying to break things down into manageable portions, but so far the effort is merely overloading my hard drive, spilling my stress cup. All that fun metaphorical stuff that basically means I'm struggling through a rough moment and feel scared and helpless. Feelings of anxiety making it hard to pause and reset (or find the right words, much less access my resources and coping strategies). I'm trying. 😢
