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Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Thursday 7th June 2018

User Profile: Softwhispers
Softwhispers June 6th, 2018

Hey all I hope you are all having a wonderful week just remember we are one day off from the weekend so not too long to push before rest! In today's post I want to focus on how PTSD can affect relationships, I was motivated to look into this topic because it just has a special place with my heart because this is somethign that I had and sometimes still do have major issues with.

An article I found one thign that really jumped out at me was when it talked about how the loved ones might react because as much as I know it's horrible to experience trauma it's still going to impact those around you when they find out and sometimes it is hard to keep that in mind.

Partners, friends, or family members may feel hurt, cut off, or down because the survivor has not been able to get over the trauma. Loved ones may become angry or distant toward the survivor. They may feel pressured, tense, and controlled. The survivor's symptoms can make a loved one feel like he or she is living in a war zone or in constant threat of danger. Living with someone who has PTSD can sometimes lead the partner to have some of the same feelings of having been through trauma.

In sum, a person who goes through a trauma may have certain common reactions. These reactions affect the people around the survivor. Family, friends, and others then react to how the survivor is behaving. This in turn comes back to affect the person who went through the trauma

that is the extract talking about how loved ones might react, you can read the full article by clicking here. I really do reccomned checking it out it's really interesting and it is better to do research on PTSD especially if you are dealign with it because understanding and having a wide knowledge on it could really help you when fighting it. PTSD does really put a strain on relationships and as hard as it is the one thing I learned with experience and talking to my therapist is being open about your feelings and thoughts even if it's admitting you do have trust issues to them and setting boundaries, it isn't being selfish it's just helping yourself get better and if your partner turns their back on you then I'm sorry to say they aren't the right one for you.

I did look for victims stories I just couldn't find any sorry

This is a safe space to share your thoughts you won't be judged for anything you say, *HUGE KASS HUGS FOR ALL*

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User Profile: Rebekahwriter13
Rebekahwriter13 June 7th, 2018

I've never been in war, but I was diagnosed Ptsd. I was told this is not just for soldiers, it can be any tramatic event.

I witnessed violence as a kid.

I was raped.

I was cheated on and walked in on it.

I watched my ex die.

8 replies
User Profile: KLM3278
KLM3278 June 7th, 2018

@Rebekahwriter1

That is a lot to go through. How are you doing? Thank you for sharing. If this helps, here is a safe Hug! ❤️

5 replies
User Profile: Rebekahwriter13
Rebekahwriter13 June 7th, 2018

@KLM3278

I've been better.

My current live-in situation feels like a prison and I have a doctor who doesn't want me to work or drive due sleep issues.

4 replies
User Profile: KLM3278
KLM3278 June 7th, 2018

@Rebekahwriter13

I'm sorry to hear you're not doing that great.

Living in a bad situation isn't fun. Can you move? Maybe that could help? ❤️

3 replies
User Profile: Rebekahwriter13
Rebekahwriter13 June 8th, 2018

@KLM3278

Im not work, and can't work . . . I have health issues.

2 replies
User Profile: KLM3278
KLM3278 June 8th, 2018

@Rebekahwriter13

I'm very sorry you have health issues. ❤️

I'm glad this site can be a safe place for you to reach out. That's important. I know everything you're going through is difficult. Know we are here for you whenever you need. ❤️

1 reply
User Profile: Rebekahwriter13
Rebekahwriter13 June 9th, 2018

@KLM3278

Thank you

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User Profile: purpleWest8143
purpleWest8143 June 7th, 2018

@Rebekahwriter13 I

1 reply
User Profile: Rebekahwriter13
Rebekahwriter13 June 8th, 2018

@purpleWest8143

Thank you. I do feel support. I just feel like in falling deeper and I'm not sure if i can get out.

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User Profile: nolongerafraid
nolongerafraid June 7th, 2018

@Softwhispers

I never really gave it much thought but I realize now that it was traumatic experiences that caused the break-up with my childrens dad. There is nothing I can do about that now. We did what we thought was best at the time.

He has been an amazing friend, he still is. When we met I was 18. We moved in together after one date. He was so loving and accepting. It was really healing to me. It was hard to let him go to work and it was great when he came home. It was hard on him but he did not give up on me. After 2 years he asked me if I wanted kids and I said yes. I got pregnant almost instant and had 2 girls.

But then I guess things changed. I could not have sex with him anymore. It was painful and it was really horrible every time. I felt so guilty too but I could not do it. I don't really know why but I cramped up.

We broke up because we wanted to save our friendship. He still is one of my best friends and he is an amazing dad too my kids. This was about 20 years ago.

I was able to sleep with other men but they were mostly one night stands. Until I felt grossed out and decided to be single and happy about that. That is now almost 17 years ago.

I am sad in a way that I did not know what I know now. We could have gotten help and maybe we could have saved our relationship.

He is with another woman now. He likes her. I don't, my kids don't (understatement) but it is not my choice to make.

User Profile: crimsonLime6525
crimsonLime6525 June 7th, 2018

Just a hi and a hug for you all ❤️

3 replies
User Profile: AveryLove
AveryLove June 7th, 2018

@crimsonLime6525 safe hugs back heart hope you are having a lovely thursday

User Profile: wontwakewontsleep
wontwakewontsleep June 7th, 2018

@crimsonLime6525 ❤

User Profile: rozie
rozie June 7th, 2018

@crimsonLime6525

Thanks.. and a hi and a hug to you too! x

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User Profile: NancySV1
NancySV1 June 7th, 2018

Hello all

I hope you all have a beautiful day

1 reply
User Profile: AveryLove
AveryLove June 7th, 2018

@NancySV1 aw thats so kind heart we really do hope that you are having a lovely day yourself!

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User Profile: honestLand773
honestLand773 June 7th, 2018

@Softwhispers

So not tellin family is the bast choice.

5 replies
User Profile: Softwhispers
Softwhispers OP June 7th, 2018

@honestLand773 that's the opposite to what I'm saying what I'm saying is be mindful and patient with your loved ones because they personally don't know what it's like to go through trauma

4 replies
User Profile: honestLand773
honestLand773 June 7th, 2018

@Softwhispers

But telling them will hurt them more.

Im kinda being forced to tell my family at minute by people. If im honest i dont want to at all. I see the pros to it but the cons are far worse.

2 replies
User Profile: wontwakewontsleep
wontwakewontsleep June 7th, 2018

@honestLand773 - Telling anyone is entirely up to you. I'm sorry you're feeling pressured to tell them before you feel ready. True, they may be pained to learn what you will say - but because they love you, not because youwould personally be hurting them. It's good to have people in our lives who carefor us enough to be affected by our history. Remember: I said may, such as: no one can predict the future! It's equally possible that they will shower you with support and compassion. You may be pleasantly surprised. But I hope you are able to tell whomever you feel comfortable telling in your own time. This is such a personal thing, it pains me when people are pressured to reveal their situations before they're ready. ❤

1 reply
User Profile: honestLand773
honestLand773 June 7th, 2018

@wontwakewontsleep

People just love being in control and i just hide and loose the ability of coping at all.

If they do wat they will do if i dont tell i dont wanna b their and im not able to tell not in the time limit. Mayb one day but i cant do either of them. I really cant.

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User Profile: honestLand773
honestLand773 June 7th, 2018

@Softwhispers

But telling them will hurt them more.

Im kinda being forced to tell my family at minute by people. If im honest i dont want to at all. I see the pros to it but the cons are far worse.

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User Profile: wontwakewontsleep
wontwakewontsleep June 7th, 2018

We are brave when we tell our story, regardless if it is the first time we've told anyone, or if it's the 100th time we've spoken about it. Each time requires such courage. Gratefully, I have mostly received compassion and support and concern when sharing my story with people I know. Only a few people have not reacted well, but the people who do react well - they make up for the one's one don't, make everything seem worth it,and every supportive person just totally surprises me anew. We cannot find those people or get their support for this if we don't take that risk. It's worth it. And family or friends who do not understand and react poorly, well, that's painful but at least we know we can't rely on them when it comes to inportant stuff like this. Better to know and find someone we can rely on, than wait in silence without support anyway.

I have told all of my serious relationships about my abusive past. But I'm very straightforward and honest like that. I tell people before we start getting serious that I have trust issues, boundaries, jumpiness, and why... Typically they have been very understanding, and in fact sharing my story has brought me much closer with many people, including my own father who is like my best friend now. Sometimes when you reveal the dark stuff from your past, you help the other person find the courage to admit they have experienced trauma too. Again, I have definitely encountered some cold, misunderstanding reactions, within my family and outside of it, and that hurts, but it's okay because I found many others who support me instead.

2 replies
User Profile: rozie
rozie June 7th, 2018

@wontwakewontsleep

You are so right when you say we are brave every time we tell our story. And as your experience has shown you, others are able to understand and support you. And for some it may give them the courage to share too. But there will be the ones who for whatever reason are not able to hear.. and that may hurt but its their response and that's how it is for them. Its a risk we take, but to remain silent means that nobody hears. II think its about readiness too, and sharing with a safe person who you can trust. Thank you for sharing this with us. x

User Profile: OPinyon
OPinyon June 10th, 2018

@wontwakewontsleep

Very powerful. And encouraging.Thank you.

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User Profile: rozie
rozie June 7th, 2018

@Softwhispers

Great post Kass, thank you! This has such significance for us. We need our close ones so much, and the understanding that they are also affected can be so helpful. So that rather than getting off side with each other and PTSD sitting in the middle, we can try to stay onside, and be together in leearning to live with this in the best way possible. Not easy and there will be hiccups. And the need for some space, so that each can look after themselves.. self care. x

User Profile: calmLake1999
calmLake1999 June 8th, 2018

I had to pull back from those friendships I thought I'd started to make as I'm not allowed to tell people what happened and I'm unsure who to trust in my offscreen life.. it feels safer to protect them and myself from potentially being judged but also them from the harsh truth of what occured by someone we all knew.. I feel isolated but also feel like none but maybe one even care that I pulled back.. I've been relying on support from people here and the professionals in my offscreen life but reality is I feel so very alone despite having support.. I didn't realise that I had started to invest a little hope into those friendships and now I don't have them and its really lonely.. 😞

4 replies
User Profile: calmLake1999
calmLake1999 June 8th, 2018

@calmLake1999 I said too much again, I always say too much

2 replies
User Profile: KLM3278
KLM3278 June 8th, 2018

@calmLake1999

No you didn't. It's okay to share your struggles. ❤️

User Profile: OPinyon
OPinyon June 9th, 2018

@calmLake1999 I relate to what you are saying Calm. It seems like you have a great deal of support here at 7 Cups. I hope you make it.

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User Profile: KLM3278
KLM3278 June 8th, 2018

@calmLake1999

Hi Calm. I'm so very sorry for all you're going through. And I can tell you feel very alone. I hope you can continue to reach out to people. It is hard to know who to trust. But people are really here to offer support. Please know I'm thinking of you today, and will be praying for you about everything you're dealing with. I hope today you can find some warmth and moments of self soothing. You deserve it. ❤️

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User Profile: Lolowise475
Lolowise475 June 8th, 2018

The other day I was trigger because a certain event reminded me of fleeing for my life this year to escape a natural disaster. Also my parent whom I care for hasn't felt at all well for the entire week. They had 5 surgeries this year. 3 heart related surgeries. Also having a situation someone I used to live near physically orchestrated an assault that left me and a friend shaken, but without concrete proof. Also harassed verbally andvmistreated by an academic. So multiple reasons why I suffer from PTSD. Trying to deal with it.

2 replies
User Profile: KLM3278
KLM3278 June 8th, 2018

@Lolowise475

This is a lot to deal with. Please know you're not alone. We're here to support you as you walk through all this. Healing is a journey. I hope today you can find some time to do something for yourself. Something you enjoy!! ❤️❤️

1 reply
User Profile: Lolowise475
Lolowise475 June 9th, 2018

Thank you I got help from celestialvoid who walked me through various antianxiety techniques in an intense moment. I have appreciate how precious every moment of life it an how special people seem to come to my support at the most opportune times and I am sincerely grateful@KLM3278

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User Profile: Lolowise475
Lolowise475 June 8th, 2018

Oh yes forgot to mention my bff has stage 4 cancer and is also doing their best to hang in there.

3 replies
User Profile: KLM3278
KLM3278 June 8th, 2018

@Lolowise475

This is hard beyond words, I know it to well. Praying for strength and miracles. ❤️

2 replies
User Profile: Lolowise475
Lolowise475 June 9th, 2018

Thank you. Appreciate your kind words and prayers.@KLM3278

1 reply
User Profile: KLM3278
KLM3278 June 10th, 2018

@Lolowise475

Of course! ❤️❤️❤️

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