Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Tuesday 13th February 2018

@rozie

I'm finding that I want to avoid going outside. I have errands to do but I want to cocoon in my house. It's cold and raining here so maybe tomorrow.

@rozie

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@rozie

Hi rozie ☺️

@rozie

"Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts.. There is something infinitely healing in the repeated refrains of nature - the assurance that dawn comes after night, and spring after winter." Rachel Carson "Silent Spring."

I love that quote. It speaks to me strongly today.

in just a little while i have to get ready for counseling. i havent been in quite some time because my vehicle has been in the shop for about two months. it's been ready, i just havent had a ride to get to it. so i broke down and asked my mom to take me. altho i dont go many places i dont like the idea of being totally stranded at home. and i had been thinking recently that i might go to alanon (which is 45 min away).

i am not feeling real comfortable about the ride to pick up my vehicle with my mom...what will we talk about? but it will be okay.

the real problem is the counseling and what do i tell her? do i tell her the truth? the whole truth? will she think differently of me? if i do this am i setting in motion the end of my marriage? does it even matter anymore?

i'm so tired i dont think i can fight this battle and if she tells me i should divorce him i think inside i will cry but outwardly i will just stare blankly. do i share with her the recording i made? is it weird that i made a recording? after so many years of this i just decided -- why not? i have a phone -all i have to do is hit record. he wont know bc he's not paying attention.

i guess i just wanted to hear for myself how it gets. i didnt realize exactly how it was until i listened to it. i'm embarassed to show it to her tho bc if i do i dont think she'll say i should stay with him. but if i dont show it to her she wont know how i feel.

@rozie

Very true nature is fantastic. You feel much better :)

Here is quite cold and rainy. I would go out but today is carnaval so too many people outside getting drunk and such, I feel unconfortable.

Last time I spent outdoors was last sunday. But tomorrow I'm going to start being everyday since my second semester starts.

My day is going ok so far, quite boring to be honest. I wish I could go to the park. Oh well I guess is time to watch something on netflix :)

GUYS!!!!! It

Hiya

Been a good day with heaps of time in my hands to do some readings

Lovely post :) That said, Can't wait for spring :)

I need some advice!

so, I found out that I am able to get the clothes I was wearing at the time of my rape and the photo of the injuries. My friends think it may be a good idea to see it, to tell myself, I healed. Do you think its a good idea?

xx

Hi. My day could be better but I'm trying. There is a pond that I visit and walk around. It is so peaceful. I can't wait until it's warm enough to go back. It is one of the few places that quiets the thoughts. Being in and observing nature is just soothing to me.