Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Tuesday 4th July
Good morning all
Happy Independence Day America!
This morning while watching two of my dogs playing couldn't help thinking they are so present and playful!
Standing very still, one with a play bow, watching each other, waiting. Then Cassi moves rapidly, round the water tank, Maggie in hot pursuit. Then they both appear, Cassi pauses, watches Maggie, who stares back (nothing would interrupt them), waiting and watching each other. Then off they go, chasing each other backwards and forwards,excited and joyful. Having so much fun! Total focus on the moment.
Dogs can teach us so much. We know to stay present can make a difference for us but often other things intrude. We forget to be playful, or how to be playful... so much has interrupted this.Yet play and laughter are so beneficial ... as good as medicine they say.
Two questions to reflect on: How are you being present? what helps you to anchor to the present? How are you being playful? what invites you to be playful?
Love from rozie and her puppy dogs.
@rozie Great post rozie :) I can appreciate the playfulness of dogs (and of cats!) and my dog has been very present since she has been wanting to play ball since 04.30am this morning LOL Dogs are very therapeutic and can indeed help us to have some fun and remain aware and present in the moment. They can help us to smile again, to enjoy the funny moments in our day when so much else in our day perhaps doesnt feel so good for us :) They can help us to take some time out of having to cope with many things day to day and just appreciate that time for what it is 
@dancingRainbow45
Thank you.Oh that's a little earlly for a game of ball! Agree with what you say about dogs... they give us so much, much more than we give them. Nothing like a waggy tail and shinning eyes to bring some joy and lighten the day.
@rozie Absolutely and yes way too early for a ball game, but being a collie, its very typical behaviour and at 4.30am its light here, which my dog seems to think means it play time LOL
I don't know how to be present right now. It seems like everything is happening from a distance. Like that's the only way I can manage things. Sometimes I feel ready to burst with all of this emotion but before I let it out, I push it back down where I can keep avoiding it. Because if I avoid it, if I avoid everything, then maybe I'll start feeling safe and ok again. Maybe I'll start to feel like me again.
@moonchild95
Just a suggestion, but pushing that emotion back down doesn't sound like it's working so well. So perhaps pushing it back down isn't the best way to deal with it? If you're avoiding it, but not feeling part of the present day, is avoidance the best course of action? These things have a habit of coming back up again and again until you finally deal with them. And once dealt with, once those emotions are faced head on, that's when (in my experience) you start feeling like you again. You have to do what feels right for you, but if one course isn't working, maybe it's time to change course?
@DeborahUK @moonchild95
I can identify here. I have to take it in tiny chunks - the being present. For instance, just now at breakfast while writing my own post here, I paused for a moment and closed my eyes and just listened to what I heard. I heard birds chirping outside, more than one variety, and it actually brought me a feeling of warmth and pleasure just to listen... even though I live surrounded by concrete in the city, for a moment it brought me back to vague pleasant memories from the past, pleasant associations. Or perhaps in the moment it was simply just nice.
@singercrystalspirit
Yes to take it in tiny chunks- being present. As you did, pausing and hearing the birds..sounds like good memories and a nice moment!
@rozie
Great post! I just have to speak up in support of cats. My cat had spent the weekend in the cattery, and just watching him rediscover his territory when he got home yesterday, checking out all the smells, adding smells of his own, he was so 100% focused, and I was 100% focussed on him!
As for being present and playful, well I survived a high speed collision on the motorway yesterday, without a scratch on me, and nothing more than a scuff mark to my car. So I'm feeling pretty grateful to be present at all, and that makes me feel pretty playful! So yes, it's a good day to be alive 😅
@DeborahUK
Glad that you are speakingup in support of cats! And yours sounds really focused and happy to be back in his own territory.. his home. They are great homers aren;t they.
What a shock for you to be in an accident like this ... and so thankful that you came through unscathed... lots more for you to do and we need you here!
@DeborahUK Eep! So glad you made it out okay!!
@melliotm @rozie @TreesandWine
Whilst I wouldn't recommend it as a life affirming exercise, it certainly made me appreciate what I have, and realise I don't wish to lose any of it. But I'd recommend less risky methods to count your blessings! 😳
@DeborahUK
I agree with you here. I was in a serious motorcycle accident and while I didn't come out of it unharmed, the experience makes me appreciate more that I'm here at all. Not to mention playful!
@DeborahUK
Oh my gosh!!! I am so glad you're OK!!!!!
@singercrystalspirit
@BeeLeigh
Thank you, but I didn't post that to get lots of kind responses, though I do appreciate them. But it was just a real moment of realisation. YOLO is such a hackneyed phrase these days, but it's true we only have one life to live, and I have a new determination to live it!
We're all also certainly glad you're alive and well, @DeborahUK!
@DeborahUK glad you are ok. And yes cats can be cuddly too.
@DeborahUK
Wow! I'd be grateful too!
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@rozie Two questions to reflect on: How are you being present? what helps you to anchor to the present? How are you being playful? what invites you to be playful?
Mindfulness/mindfulness meditation seems to be the best anchor at the moment. I still float off into deep, murky waters of the past and future if I'm not careful. But developing awareness of thoughts and feelings and how they come and go, what my triggers are, letting myself feel the feels instead of suppression, avoidance or fighting is helping to keep me steady.
It's an ongoing process that requires considerable patience and self compassion (both of which I'm working on).
As for the second question, my daughter is pretty much the sole catalyst for play in my life at the moment, for which I'm grateful beyond words. That said, my cats do make me giggle sometimes. Hooray for all my little ones. :)
@melliotm Hooray for all your little ones!! .. your daughter inviites you to be playful with her and you both benefit....lovely.
@rozie She's the bestest ever. It can be exhausting. As I've discussed here before, sometimes I struggle with stamina and balancing self care (and parental guilt which manifests in varying guises and degrees, depending on how my mood is swinging -- which I'm working on, like everything else), but I can honestly say that all things considered it's mutually beneficial (and fun).
I am blessed to have an understanding coparent who is very accommodating with regards to my mental health struggles and trauma symptoms. Which sets a good example for my daughter too. The whole ok-to-not-be-ok thing. :)
@melliotm
Kids are certainly a catalyst for spontaneous play. So happy you have that. I love mindfulness practice. Did you try the Savassana? I'm hooked on it. I'm grateful to know that meditation isn't a end destination but a life practice with good and bad days and that's ok.
Two questions to reflect on: How are you being present? What helps you to anchor to the present? How are you being playful? What invites you to be playful?
How do I stay present and playful? Mostly music. It's my anchor on days when I'm drifting away, and it sets me free when I'm stuck inside (myself, not my apartment, cuz technically I'm never "stuck" in here). I have several playlists. I've been listening to just the one playlist for a bit now. It's a good mix of uplifting and playful music and that keeps me in a good mood when I've managed to find one, and puts me in one when I can't seem to find anything positive. :)
This is why you don't fall back asleep once you're up, @BeeLeigh! 🤦🏼♀️
I got up nice and early, had a nice chat, and then kinda dozed off. I have the WEIRDEST dreams! This one started off weird enough, then it went and got even stranger. There was a whole beginning part that involved a doctor's office, then it completely changed course. So now me, two of my brothers, and one of my cousins were in the car with one of my grammas. We were gonna go out to breakfast and she was stopping at the ATM. Now, keep in mind that the boys kept magically being in different seats and it still felt real 🙄. For some reason my Gramma parked the car instead of just going through the drive up ATM. Then these two guys with knives came over and got my Gramma and one of my brothers out of the car while us other three stayed in the back with the doors shut and locked (like that would somehow help when they've already got the front doors open???). Then all of a sudden my door opens and I get stabbed and jerk awake. Like...seriously??? Why??? Ugh, whatever, see, this is why I don't sleep! 🙄😒🤦🏼♀️
@BeeLeigh hope you managed to get some better rest after that Bee. It does sound like a busy dream.
@inventiveOrange1
Eh, I really should have just stayed awake to begin with, and then I wouldn't have even had that dream. It's about half past noon here now, so I really need to be up and ready to exist in today anyway lol
@rozie Happy Independence Day to you and my American friends. I am in Canada and we just finished our 150th birthday celebration on the 1st.
I am being present by studying and focusing on the week ahead.
I have not really been playful lol, but on the weekend there is an event taking place to learn more about historical events that are taking place in my city. I am always eager to learn so I am excited to attend.
@philosophicalShip944
Thank you for reminding me that its Canada's 150th celebration weekned.. hoping it was a good and relaxing weekend for all!
And good to hear you're excited to learn more about the historical... the joy of learning! Think we each have a source of creativity and once we tap into that,we are the better for it.
Ooooh, this rings true. I have totally forgotten how to be playful in the past!!!
How are you being present? what helps you to anchor to the present? How are you being playful? what invites you to be playful?
It helps anchor me to the present when I eat mindfully. When I eat healthy foods my body needs, slowly and enjoying the way that they taste, and feeling what my body feels like as I eat.
Sometimes when I am around little kids, I feel invited to be playful.
I am practicing being present right now by focusing on my five senses rather than my thoughts (and it feels really good).
I am playful when I engage in the moment. With other people. This is fun and makes me happy.
@singercrystalspirit that all sounds great singer
@rozie thanks for post. Sorry for being absent. It has been a difficult couple of days. Being present is pretty much all i can be. Been trying to numb and sleep with aid of alcohol and pain medication. Wasnt such a great idea. But still here and should be ok.
It is hard to be present with the pain but trying. Not sure if its ever going to be better. Im certainly not present in spirit at work but still going there.
Being playful is quite difficult. I guess trying to be ok for dungeons and dragons with hubbys family tonight counts. Tho i may fall asleep at the table. My halfling is in danger of dying without lucky throws.
@inventiveOrange1
Its okay.. sometines its a real struggle... and pain makes it very hard. Maybeiits just to pause for a moment and embrace the sounds/sights around that give you a break and then to enjoy the moment.
We're glad you're back with us! How long did you last in the game?
@rozie I didnt last long. Me being distracted wasnt good. Hubby now in mood with me but guess thats me being distracted alot lately. Ive not told him about the sh and its becoming harder to hide. Dont want to trigger or worry him too.
Being present or just around is really difficult. I dont know who im kidding trying.
@rozie
Being present at all times is my goal. If I feel disconected or disociated, I stop what I'm doing as soon as it's safe to do so and check in with my body by focusing on the feel of my feet on the ground or the feel of my legs on a chair. I've also focused for a minute on every sense- What can I hear right now?.., see?.... touch?..... smell? ....taste? Giving names to them. I hear birds, the wind, the sound of my breathing, my dog breathing, music, chickens, children.....
If I'm feeling disconnected because of my inner critic, I find ways to flip the script. The more present I am, more chances arise for me to be playful in a good way.
I'm playful 90% of the time when it's appropriate. I'm also playful when it isn't so appropriate. This is when my default to playfulness is a protection from uncomfortable feelings creating a desire to make jokes. Laughing is far easier than crying. I have had to learn to lean into the uncomfortable stuff. I'm grateful these times are far less frequent because it has caused miscommunications, hurt feelings, and barriers to intimacy when I'm not able to be present with those in my life or myself during the hard times.
Self compassion makes a huge difference.
Mary
@MKJart Sounding good Mary! and agree self-compassion makes a huge difference.
