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Traumatic Experiences Subcommunity- Daily Check-in: 12th March, 17

User Profile: PuppyLove13
PuppyLove13 March 12th, 2017

Hello lovely people <3 How's everyone doing <3 Hope Sunday has been treating you well enough <3 Has it become a bit easier to deal with the pain? If not, then I promise you it will be easier soon :) Trust yourself because you haven't done that till now.. Happy Sunday <3 Have a playful one :D

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User Profile: BeeLeigh
BeeLeigh March 12th, 2017

I hate daylight savings time cuz now it's dark in the morning again 😫

BUT, I'm going to the South Side Irish Parade today, and then to my aunt's house to eat, drink, and be merry, and then to Rainbow Cone like we do every year 😁

2 replies
User Profile: happycloud7o9
happycloud7o9 March 12th, 2017

@BeeLeigh I really hate daylight savings too! 👎 Sounds like you have an awesome day ahead tho, hope you have fun and enjoy it!! 😊

1 reply
User Profile: BeeLeigh
BeeLeigh March 13th, 2017

@happycloud7o9

Thank you! I did enjoy it! :)

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User Profile: DeborahUK
DeborahUK March 12th, 2017

@PuppyLove13

It's interesting what you say there about pain lessening, or at least becoming easier to cope with.

I still have the emails I sent to a crisis centre when trying to come to terms with my own situation. Full of pain, a real howl of despair, and constantly saying how? How will this ever feel better? How will I ever cope?

And yet it does feel better now, and I do feel able to cope. I don't know what the magic ingredient is.....time undoubtedly, support from others to be able to explore all those questions, determination to not allow your life to be ruined by it, a recognition that blame and shame and guilt don't belong to you.

I don't know really....I wish I had a magic formula I could just hand out to those people hurting. I don't........but I do know that things do get better in time. And that it's worth just hanging in there until that time comes. Never lose hope.

5 replies
March 12th, 2017

@DeborahUK That's really lovely, Deb. I think you're an inspiration for those who are still finding that understanding. Even though I don't really belong to this category, I couldn't help but comment. Your words always touch my heart, anytime I see your responses.

Would you say that the recognition of blame/shame/guilt does not belong to you, is the hardest to find peace in?

2 replies
User Profile: DeborahUK
DeborahUK March 12th, 2017

Hello @TrueArrow :)

Oh gosh yes! How to let go of that blame, shame and guilt!

I have three pieces of 'wisdom' which I hang on to:

1. Where someone has done something criminal against you, carrying the burden of shame, blame and guilt for them, is like serving a life sentence for their crime. So don't imprison yourself any longer. You deserve to be free.

2. I'm a sucker for the Serenity Prayer - in summary grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. To me this is about responsibility. If you're hurting at the hands of others, whose responsibility is that? Surely not yours? So why feel responsible?

3. Any trauma or upset in life can damage our confidence or self esteem, and we become accustomed to that little voice inside....I should have done something different, I caused it, I'm useless....etc, etc. But we don't have to believe that message. Just as we were assured by parents that Santa and fairies existed, things we dismiss as adults, so we can dismiss those other 'facts' we came to believe through life. We can change the message.

User Profile: Rain45
Rain45 March 12th, 2017

@TrueArrow Your always welcome to contribute here if you would like, as we welcome those affected by trauma, those supporting those with trauma issues and anyone else who is interested in learning more and helping to create awareness of the issues many people who have had traumatic experiences face :)

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User Profile: PuppyLove13
PuppyLove13 OP March 12th, 2017

@DeborahUK You have said that so beautifully :) Yes time, patience and safeguarding ourselves from further wounds is what helps us cope and get better.. I really hope everyone does the same <3

User Profile: sujaypai
sujaypai March 13th, 2017

@DeborahUK Hugs Awesome Deborah. You just inspire us all. Stay Awesome always.

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User Profile: themainjane
themainjane March 12th, 2017

I'm having a difficult time assimilating new trauma into my life. I know recent events bother me - the imprints of them still on my mind and the bruises still visible on my body.

Yet it's happened too many times and it seems to be losing it's impact on me. I don't know how to process this.

17 replies
User Profile: themainjane
themainjane March 12th, 2017

@themainjane

I think I keep posting in the wrong place. I thought this was finally just the Community and not a subcommunity. Now I see it says subcommunity- for what? Csa? I don't belong there.

its difficult to tell on phone at times and I wish all these check-ins would specify in header what check-in they are exactly.

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User Profile: themainjane
themainjane March 12th, 2017

@themainjane

Nobody cares and nobody says anything. I guess I'm wrong for mentioning it.

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User Profile: Rain45
Rain45 March 13th, 2017

@themainjane What do you feel you would need in order to process it. Past and recent trauma can be very difficult to deal with and Im wondering what support you have in place to help you begin to process this?

7 replies
User Profile: themainjane
themainjane March 14th, 2017

@dancingRainbow45

I have counseling and 7 cups. As a last resort I have my parents. They are old school and hurt my feelings but they do love me. I'm fortunate to have counselors.

I just started a medication a week ago. Once I'm responding well to it when going to add another that also happens to help with cessation of smoking. If I started it now I'd just power through and smoke on top of it anyway because that's what I've done in the past.

I received my diagnoses yesterday. It included major depressive disorder severe without psychosis, complex ptsd and agoraphobia without panic (which isn't a perfect fit but similar).

6 replies
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User Profile: KLM3278
KLM3278 March 13th, 2017

I'm very tired!!!

4 replies
User Profile: Rain45
Rain45 March 13th, 2017

@KLM3278 Tired physically KLM or emotionally, or perhaps even both?

3 replies
User Profile: KLM3278
KLM3278 March 13th, 2017

@dancingRainbow45 All of that, yes. Just tired!

2 replies
User Profile: Rain45
Rain45 March 13th, 2017

@KLM3278 What can you do for yourself that can bring you a little rest and comfort whereby you can recoup your energies. Sounds like you need a day to chill out, watch a movie and lie snuggled up in a duvet.

1 reply
User Profile: KLM3278
KLM3278 March 13th, 2017

@dancingRainbow45 That does sound nice.

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