Traumatic Experiences Subcommunity- Daily Check-in: 12th March, 17
Hello lovely people <3 How's everyone doing <3 Hope Sunday has been treating you well enough <3 Has it become a bit easier to deal with the pain? If not, then I promise you it will be easier soon :) Trust yourself because you haven't done that till now.. Happy Sunday <3 Have a playful one :D
I hate daylight savings time cuz now it's dark in the morning again 😫
BUT, I'm going to the South Side Irish Parade today, and then to my aunt's house to eat, drink, and be merry, and then to Rainbow Cone like we do every year 😁
@BeeLeigh I really hate daylight savings too! 👎 Sounds like you have an awesome day ahead tho, hope you have fun and enjoy it!! 😊
@happycloud7o9
Thank you! I did enjoy it! :)
@PuppyLove13
It's interesting what you say there about pain lessening, or at least becoming easier to cope with.
I still have the emails I sent to a crisis centre when trying to come to terms with my own situation. Full of pain, a real howl of despair, and constantly saying how? How will this ever feel better? How will I ever cope?
And yet it does feel better now, and I do feel able to cope. I don't know what the magic ingredient is.....time undoubtedly, support from others to be able to explore all those questions, determination to not allow your life to be ruined by it, a recognition that blame and shame and guilt don't belong to you.
I don't know really....I wish I had a magic formula I could just hand out to those people hurting. I don't........but I do know that things do get better in time. And that it's worth just hanging in there until that time comes. Never lose hope.
@DeborahUK That's really lovely, Deb. I think you're an inspiration for those who are still finding that understanding. Even though I don't really belong to this category, I couldn't help but comment. Your words always touch my heart, anytime I see your responses.
Would you say that the recognition of blame/shame/guilt does not belong to you, is the hardest to find peace in?
Hello @TrueArrow :)
Oh gosh yes! How to let go of that blame, shame and guilt!
I have three pieces of 'wisdom' which I hang on to:
1. Where someone has done something criminal against you, carrying the burden of shame, blame and guilt for them, is like serving a life sentence for their crime. So don't imprison yourself any longer. You deserve to be free.
2. I'm a sucker for the Serenity Prayer - in summary grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. To me this is about responsibility. If you're hurting at the hands of others, whose responsibility is that? Surely not yours? So why feel responsible?
3. Any trauma or upset in life can damage our confidence or self esteem, and we become accustomed to that little voice inside....I should have done something different, I caused it, I'm useless....etc, etc. But we don't have to believe that message. Just as we were assured by parents that Santa and fairies existed, things we dismiss as adults, so we can dismiss those other 'facts' we came to believe through life. We can change the message.
@TrueArrow Your always welcome to contribute here if you would like, as we welcome those affected by trauma, those supporting those with trauma issues and anyone else who is interested in learning more and helping to create awareness of the issues many people who have had traumatic experiences face :)
@DeborahUK You have said that so beautifully :) Yes time, patience and safeguarding ourselves from further wounds is what helps us cope and get better.. I really hope everyone does the same <3
@DeborahUK Hugs Awesome Deborah. You just inspire us all. Stay Awesome always.
I'm having a difficult time assimilating new trauma into my life. I know recent events bother me - the imprints of them still on my mind and the bruises still visible on my body.
Yet it's happened too many times and it seems to be losing it's impact on me. I don't know how to process this.
@themainjane
I think I keep posting in the wrong place. I thought this was finally just the Community and not a subcommunity. Now I see it says subcommunity- for what? Csa? I don't belong there.
its difficult to tell on phone at times and I wish all these check-ins would specify in header what check-in they are exactly.
@themainjane This is the Traumatic Experience subcommunity :) The daily check-ins help us know each other more and write down about our day.. So each day, you and all of us can see one another grow while we support each other :)
@themainjane
Nobody cares and nobody says anything. I guess I'm wrong for mentioning it.
@themainjane
I suppose I should just get over it and be glad it's over. Be a little more grateful but if I'm being honest that's a very difficult way to feel and it makes me angry.
Some is my fault but I know it's not all my fault. Your silence confuses me and threatens to rob me of the truth.
Why do I have to work so hard to hold on to the truth? It is something that I want to let go of, be free from. But denying it is no more truth than overly proclaiming it. I don't know what is right. I will have to figure it out.
@themainjane
Your silence speaks volumes. I was mistaken to expect support here.
I won't be mistaken again.
@themainjane jane, I have only just come online and as a previous post did try and explain, we are all from different time zones, and many listeners have jobs outside of 7 cups, family, children and so on and so we respond when we are able to. I had hoped having posted about this and explaining how we all do what we can for all the members here would help. This community is very supportive and is here for you as members but please try and bear in mind that time zones can make it very difficult for you to get an immediate response sometimes. I am sad you feel you cannot get support here, as I have seen many people reaching out to talk with you, members especially and hope you could try and appreciate we are here for you in the ways we can be for all the members.
@themainjane Jane we are all here to support you. Yes things have been difficult for you. But we all are there with you. You can count on us.
@themainjane Hey sweetie! Just want to let you know that we try our best to reply to every single person.. Either the forum mentors or the forum supporters and we never let a message go unread or unacknowledged.. So hope you understand that and be a bit more patient with us if we don't reply immediately, I assure you we're trying our best :) That being said, I hope you reply to dancingRainbow45's messages as we're very interested in knowing what's going on with you.. Hope you had a pleasant day, *Hugs* <3
@themainjane The desire to just get over something as difficult as trauma is quite a common feeling for many people often perpetuated by those who perhaps having suffered trauma and who just want survivors to leave the past in the past. If only things were that simple. Trauma leaves its impact and this needs to be dealt with in order to be able to let it go and move forward. You mentioned anger, what particularly are you angry about or at who? Survivors voices need to be heard as many have remained silent for far too long
@themainjane What do you feel you would need in order to process it. Past and recent trauma can be very difficult to deal with and Im wondering what support you have in place to help you begin to process this?
@dancingRainbow45
I have counseling and 7 cups. As a last resort I have my parents. They are old school and hurt my feelings but they do love me. I'm fortunate to have counselors.
I just started a medication a week ago. Once I'm responding well to it when going to add another that also happens to help with cessation of smoking. If I started it now I'd just power through and smoke on top of it anyway because that's what I've done in the past.
I received my diagnoses yesterday. It included major depressive disorder severe without psychosis, complex ptsd and agoraphobia without panic (which isn't a perfect fit but similar).
@themainjane
I am less depressed than I've been in the past. I have had psychosis before brought on by severe depression. So I feel relatively better but more anxious than in the far past.
I have a difficult time seeing these diagnoses as true. There were two other diagnoses but I don't feel comfortable sharing them.
@themainjane
I know you didn't ask for the specifics but I thought it might help in some way. (Both myself and anyone wishing to understand some of the complexities surrounding this set of issues).
@themainjane Im glad you dont feel as bad as you did and I know you say other feelings you have can feel pretty tough but I hope this begins to improve over time for you too. Sometimes as much as we may wish things to be okay overnight or quickly, it can take a while for us to feel we are in a better place over all but its well worth fighting for and well worth the wait
@dancingRainbow45
Thank you
@themainjane Im glad that you have found 7 cups and glad that you have a counsellor with whom you can turn to. It sounds like a lot of things have been going on for you recently especially with regards the diagnosis. How do you feel now you have been given these? Do you feel that this will help steer you in the right direction in terms of getting support in place for yourself? Medication can be difficult to adjust to for some people but with time you may see a difference and feel you benefit from this
@dancingRainbow45
I don't feel very good about having been given these. I'm not at all sure they are correct. Seems like overkill.
I'm very tired!!!
@KLM3278 Tired physically KLM or emotionally, or perhaps even both?
@dancingRainbow45 All of that, yes. Just tired!
@KLM3278 What can you do for yourself that can bring you a little rest and comfort whereby you can recoup your energies. Sounds like you need a day to chill out, watch a movie and lie snuggled up in a duvet.
