Childhood trauma and chronic illness
Hello, I am new to 7 cups. I was recommended this app through my chronic complex diseases program. Something I have been struggling with a lot is my childhood trauma. I never really realized what a toll my childhood experiences took on my health until now...I am 42. I was recently told by my rheumatologist that the things I experienced in childhood most likely were the cause of ME/CFS and Fibromyalgia. My parents relationship was very rocky. My father was a drug addict/alcoholic and very violent with my Mother. We were often kicked out of our home by my Dad in the middle of the night. We also seemed to move homes every 6 months for whatever reason. I was put in a lot of situations where I was sexually abused by older children in homes we would be staying. Then at the age of 11 my mother finally found the courage to leave my Dad which was a good thing but it happened in the same month that my grandfather died and me contracting Epstein Barr. I also witnessed a man fall from a 4 story house to his death...pretty much right in front of me as I walked home from school. None of these things that I speak of ever got dealt with or even spoken about. Then a year later a 21 year old man (who was my cousins good friend) gave me so much vodka to the point were I was almost unconscious sexually assaulted me...also...nothing was ever done. I didn’t know that by holding in trauma like that could create terrible health issues. I have suffered every single day with pain and exhaustion etc etc. I try to be a good person and lead a good life and not dwell on things but I’m finding now that all of this stuff is being pushed to the surface and I literally don’t know what to do with it. What fixes childhood trauma? I also feel like these experiences have created problems in my marriage. The sexual abuse causes problems with my sex life. I also struggle with attention from males. It’s like, if a male gives me attention I have a hard time not wanting to cheat or become attached. I’m not really sure what I’m expecting to gain from telling my story here. I wish there was a magic button that could take it all away. I have done four months of EMDR therapy in the past which helped a little bit but maybe I need more extensive therapy and for a longer amount of time?
@sunshine1978
Hi !
Welcome to the Trauma Support Community !
I'm very sorry for all you went through.
I suggest that you have a consultation with a mental health professional. Find a good psychologist near you through trusted sources, like your doctor or your friends.
In the meanwhile, I share with you a very good self-help guide, "The PTSD Workbook" HERE The exercises in this book are in fact healing for any person, it would do no harm but only good to do them.
Also "The Courage to Heal" HERE, - A guide for Women Survivors of Sexual Child Abuse - a very in-depth self-help book on this subject.
I hope you find them useful.
You took a great step forward by joining this community. There is no "magic button" here, but it might help you a lot .
This is a very safe place, a community made by caring people.
You can write in any way you like, don't wait until you "learn how to do it" Just post anything you want to share, as it comes to your mind. There are very knowledgeable and caring members participating in the Trauma community Forums, that might help you a lot.
Then, participate regularly in the daily Check-In section, which you will find pressing the oval button "Checkin Today..." HERE In these Check-ins is where you will meet people from the whole Community. And practice and learn new things along the way.
The more actively you participate in these forums, the more you will benefit from all the great knowledge and support this Community can offer you.
Please come back to me by posting here in case you have any questions.
I wish you all the best !
Marcelo.
@sunshine1978 I’ve been searching on here for people with ME/CFS…and i also have childhood trauma..dysfunctional family of drug addicts alcoholics. :(
@sunshine1978
@sunshine1978, if it helps, I really do understand all you have written so much and can relate to so much of it in my own way. I hope that just somehow by relating it can at least let you know that you are not alone in this, and that maybe you and I also are not alone with this.
I am a female, but with pretty much about the same "crap." I had all the "stuff" and I never ever did say a thing all during childhood, adolescent, and into adulthood with it all. I don't know why, but I think I learned well when a young kid how important it was, as it was so ingrained to keep my father's reputation about what he was doing to me. It was also going on with me away from home at them same time, which of course I "knew" to not ever say a word about that either. It continued on at home until I was between 15-16 and got the change to get out of there for good. but it didn't stop what happened away from home. It was still happening and I never had known what to do about any of it, I always did my best to stop it, but ..... I successfully stopped a man from raping me when I was a young adult, on the job, when I "had" to sleep in motel rooms with 4 other men on 2 double beds, including 1 pull away bed. I beat that one man, broke the head board off the bed over his head and broke it in two over his head until he moaned and rolled off--i was so shocked but he rolled off slowly and I got away.....I has suspeced he was going to try something and has asked a nother coworker to look out for me, but of course, who cares... things continued on worse for many years with me being raped beaten by multiple men head with gun coked at my head trigger pulled no clue why my head was not blown off but it wasn't robbed raped molested raped more, abuse at home with him raping people at home and me doing all I could to cover and not get the police called on him him choking men in the air at home in front of their wives and young children, beating me about unconscious, having a conscious, unable to move choking me, dragging me around by my hair choking me because he kept saying I was breating wrong,.....how was I even doing that????/ this is how his mind worka I hide, I can be on the phone, people are so scared they hang up frightened and I am left more frightened, he steals the vehicles I hunt them down he is dragging women around with drugs stealing them from them I get the vehilces back am met with uzzes, hide with bouncers from automatic wepons, hide from drug dealers, I could go on and on and on and all I ever have done was love him, do all I could for him, do what is best for him, try to help him and I am leaving out so much I know to not say here.......so I so understand. I have alers/parts/others//how do you think he treats them?????? we have had a roomate live here he has messed around with who they have dated and they ahve done all they can to stop it,.....he has screwed people staying over night in the living room,......oh so much more..........I just help the man......I still try and I get..............I can not still say.......no one understands how he is or why he acts how he does.............people on the phone my friends in life think he is a figmigment of my imagination i had to film him and tell him to speak so they would see him and hear him.......I do not see things or hear things he is so real.............I know what you are talking about so well................. I just grew up with bad awful trauma as a child and kid and also as an adult but who believes all this on here---no one most people are not even as old as all this and it is not comprehendable to them and I get this...............I have given up and it is not imortant but get what you are saying. I am here I have tagged this post, meaning I am notified if you or anone replies to this. If you tag me directly by putting the @ sign in front of my name with no spaces it will alert me you have replied to me. I will see it and it will give me a link to it. I hope to hear from you again. I so understand. I undstand how it is to hold and keep all this inside all your life. I have done this also. It does build so much and you do not know what to do or what to do with it. i know,
@sunshine1978
@sunshine1978, I am so sorry I forgot to also say I have a lot of physical dx also now from all this trama from it all over the years. I am doing my best with also my physical dx from all this also. Some of my physical dx, I want to do better than I am, as I would like to be doign with my trama problems. Yes, I agree, it is all so much tied in together and a result of the other. I have found out the hard way and continue to find out more and more. I believe I am older than you by a bit.
