Questions and concerns regarding the Dissociative Disorder community on 7 Cups
Purpose of this post
I have found in the past few months that many members and listeners who struggle every day with a dissociative disorder, or are an ally of the dissociative disorder community, are continuously dissatisfied with the lack of support options for them. It is proving more and more difficult to find a listener who has general knowledge of what a dissociative disorder is, and separates us from being able to get the support that we deserve. This is also an issue for other communities as well. I believe that providing education on Dissociative disorders in the training and certifications section on the listener's account would be a helpful start. We also feel very isolated when it comes to group support. We find that our issues feel as if they are pushed aside and disregarded and would love to see a plan in place to create a dissociative disorder specific group support room on the teen side (and the adult side if it is not existent already). I understand some of this may be in progress, but it would be helpful to know about that.
Now for some education on dissociative disorders.
There are a variety of dissociative disorders that many of the people on 7 Cups experience. I, personally, experience Dissociative Identity Disorder, also known as DID, and previously known as "Multiple Personality Disorder". This disorder is caused by childhood trauma around the ages of 7 and 8. The child brain is still forming personality, and due to trauma, it "splits" off into what are known as "alters". These alters have a variety of roles to help protect and help the "System" (sometimes known as a "collective") function. The ages of the alters can vary from even just a baby, to 99 years old, to ageless. The gender of the alters also varies and can be the same as the body, or different, or a mix of both. These alters also are as human (some non-human but I won't get into that now) as we are. They experience emotions and such things like every other human being on earth and deserve support. I know all of you are trying your best, but we can still do better to make support available to systems. I also encourage you all to do your reasearch on dissociative disorders to help you better understand. Thank you for reading this and have a wonderful day. 
Feel free to add to this thread if you are a DID/OSDD/ or someone who experiences a dissociative disorder, or even just an ally to add more information about Dissociative disorders. Also feel free to ask questions.
Remember to always be supportive and kind in your comments. Remember to check the Posting guidelines before posting.
Tagging @Fullhousesystem @WarriorHeartsSystem @Jaxnwonderland @EmptyAquarium @Fireskye13 @KimmKimm (feel free to also @ anyone you believe could contribute to the conversation)
(This post is meant to being educational, if I have offended anyone please know that I am sorry and that I am just doing my best to help the Dissociative commmunity)
@kimmkimm
Thank you for the tag !
@leafycup
Thank you very much for taking the time and effort to write such a clear, relevant, and pedagogic essay about Dissociative Disorders.
In 7 Cups there is no information whatsoever for Listeners on this subject.
Forum Supporters and other listeners that serve this SubCommunity get a specific "Trauma Sub Community Training Manual" that is so scant on Dissociative Disorders to be almost useless in this respect.
All I learned about this subject was taught to me first and foremost by @AstronomySkies who trained me by PM on how to deal with people with Dissociative Disorders in general and DID in particular. I am very grateful to her for her patience, dedication and superb teaching abilities.
Once you understand it and feel comfortable with it, it all boils down to applying the same principles of caring, empathy, active listening and support, proper of any good Listener, adapted to this particular situation. You need to understand the whole picture, and then apply these skills.
I completed my learning by reading specialized books available on PDFDrive and other online resources.
But, as you say, 7 Cups itself doesn't provide any training on this subject, and something has to be done about it.
I will contact the people I know in the content creation and forum supporter training areas of 7 Cups to see if this serious deficiency can be fixed as soon as possible.
Thank you again for your great work !
Kind regards,
Marcelo.
@WelcomeToChat
*high fives*
I think it would be wonderful if this were to actually happen. There is such a stigma around DID and many people seem to be rather closed minded towards people with it, even here. Perhaps especially here. I'm not sure if anyone here remembers that a few months ago the DID community was singled out when it comes to the chat rooms. Granted they have changed the wording on the thread since, but for those of us who saw the original thread the message was perfectly clear and I believe that quite a few people left as a result. It really makes you wonder about the purpose of emotional support if it can be denied to some and not others.
I have reached out many times only to be asked rude, harmful questions or ghosted or ignored. Someone I know was informed by the listener, that they're (the listener) is not a professional. You don't need to be one in my opinion, you just need to be willing to listen. I, myself would love to be able to talk to a listener who can understand some of the things that are dealt with on a daily basis. After a while it seems pointless to keep reaching out, I'm starting to wonder if I've been blacklisted.
@leafycup
I agree that dissociative disorders and trauma chats in general seem almost sectioned out. It's hard to find listeners here who can give you space to talk. I think that genuine empathy is the most important thing when it comes to listening. If you're listening to someone who is going through something particular, you'll show them empathy. In the same way, you can show empathy when listening to someone who has DID
It can be good to have some understanding of DID but I feel that showing empathy is the fundamental of listening. I think alot of members don't come here looking for professional advice on DID or quick bandaids but they come here to feel validated and to feel that they are being understood. Giving advice can be very harmful especially if the advice isn't needed and the member only wants to talk about what's on their mind
I've come across a few listeners who conveyed that DID is amusing to them. The trauma that happened with us is not amusing to us. Someone ignored whatever I was sharing and instead asked off topic questions for their amusement and tried to make another part surface instead of me
I think that when you open up to a listener about something traumatic that happened to you, responses like "yeah I get it" or "yeah I'm sorry" or "don't overthink about it" can feel insensitive
I'm glad that there are some members and listeners here who are genuinely understanding
Ann
@pencilmarks
Dear Ann:
First, I want to tell you that you are one of the most lovely members I ever met in 7 Cups.
You are very, very intelligent, you have an exquisite aesthetic sensibility, and a very gentle, delicate way of communicating with other people, which makes it a blessing to interact with you.
The mistreatment you received brought tears to my eyes.
Those conducts go way, way beyond being mediocre or ignorant. Those are sadistic behaviors, and those listeners should be reported. They are dangerous to any member they happen to chat with. Their listener accounts should be canceled.
If you don't feel like doing it yourself, please message me, and I will do the reporting for you, if this situation happens again to you.
According to 7 Cups statistics, there are hundreds of thousands of listeners. (see https://www.7cups.com/about/research-stats.php ) and, unfortunately, there must be lots of bad and stupid people among such a vast number.
Of course, I offer you to chat with me as a listener.
I assure you will receive from me all the respect, attention, and care you deserve.
Promise.
You are a jewel of a person, and you deserve to be treated as such.
All the very best to you,
Marcelo.
@WelcomeToChat Regarding the number of listeners, @QuietMagic recently published a fascinating analysis here. Most new listeners don't participate much, and soon leave, so the "hundreds of thousands of listeners" that 7 Cups likes to advertise seems phoney to me.
I think it's relevant to this discussion that only 3% of listeners are completing even the most popular training guides. So it seems to me that providing a training guide for dissociative disorders is unlikely to have much impact on the problem.
That makes me wonder whether it might help to approach the problem the other way around, by encouraging members who already have some experience or knowledge to become listeners. I wonder how the members who have posted in this thread feel about becoming listeners.
Charlie
@RarelyCharlie
Very good points !
As they say in the maffia movies "You know too much!"
I agree that maybe the way to go is promoting the development of more listeners from this same community.
There could be, in the corresponding forum, a list of suitable listeners. Also a "dissociative disorders" guide for members, in the guides section, that points to this sub-community (and the specific listener list) could be useful so new members with dissociative disorders come here as soon as they enter 7 Cups, and avoid exposing themselves to damaging listeners.
The abundance of listeners relative to members, coupled with low-quality problems, seems to me to point to more demanding training and screening criteria for new listeners, as 7 Cups doesn't need a lot of any kind of new listeners, but only more good ones. 7 Cups should become a lot more picky and choosy. A higher entry barrier would also help deter bad people that just want to have fun, from becoming listeners.
Thank you for all your detailed and relevant information ! Only with true hard data is possible to devise real solutions. Without your contribution, we could end up wasting efforts in building a house of cards...
@leafycup
I'm just going to quickly add on. Us as a system have only been on here for a few months, so we don't have much experience. But from the many listeners, we've talked to, a third of them ghosted us for no reason or explanation, another third just asked questions; which made it feel like they were the member and we were the listener. The last third either didn't know what it was and tried to help, or only helped one of us. Obviously, that isn't their fault, and we still appreciate them. But it hurts, having to either explain everything to someone for the millionth time, or not be able to ask advice since they don't understand. Thankfully we found a few listeners (You :P ) Who understand, and have made us feel valid. But I feel for those who haven't. 7.cups is a place for support and validity, yet so many people end up not getting that. I understand that not everything can be perfect, but that doesn't mean you can't try to solve the problems. If we can do anything to help this problem, we will. Since it is important. I know what it's like to not have support, to not have anyone understand, and no one deserves to feel that. That's the whole point of 7.cups. Every time we find another system, a listener who understands, we feel that much better. Heal that much more. And I wish that that could be the same for everyone. We are committed to ending the stigma of this disorder, and we are committed to help others who have it. Thank you for reading <3
-Emmy (Host) and Dawn (Social Alter)
@leafycup
Greetings everyone, it's a pleasure to see and or meet you.
Leafycup, that was amazing, your obviously a caring person thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I am disheartened to hear how you were let down by the other listeners. I am however pleased to hear that you have found one who lives up to there title.
Thank you for your support, it's a pleasant experience meeting another system.
Farewell may your days be pleasant and your friends true.
Imp.
I just want to add how frustated I am
Thank you everyone who is supportive here and raising awareness
<3<3
you know i hope more people actuallyunderstand soon
time is something that i hope when is all said and done in the end people will stop siding with the cruel beast of human kind.
@DistortionHeart
I hope so too and that no one will hurt anyone <3
@leafy0
Thank you so much for this post!!!<3