Limerence?

I have this one guy, I have liked him since I was a freshman in college. We didn't have much interaction until he became my professor. Although he is ahead of me, he is still a month younger. And I admire his intelligence and his looks are somewhat cute and handsome to me. Maybe he looks appealing because of his intelligence. Our first interaction was with him chatting with me regarding an activity. Then it was just that. But then when the pandemic hit and he wasn't my prof anymore, we chatted and it felt like we had connections. We have everyday conversations through Messenger and we also follow each other on *** and ***. That was in 2021 and then I told him that I liked him but he said he could not reciprocate and just wanted to be friends but still gave me mixed signals. Fast forward to 2022, he replied to my story and asked me if I would watch the movie in the theater, and he indirectly wanted me to go with him. Then we chat about the possible things that would happen like HH & kissing. But he said that we should kiss somewhere private. Told me he would take me to his house but then on the day of the “movie date” he told me that his family members were there so we should just go to a hotel. So we went there after the movie and the scenes escalated quickly although we didn't hit the ‘homerun’. I don't want and he doesn't want either. After that, I have so many questions about myself but I still reply to him although it seems to have an air of nonchalance. (Maybe I was waiting for him to clear his feelings for me, but he didn't ) Then days after he texted me and indirectly wanna see me again (he says there’s no one in their house) but I refused by saying “choose a different one(girl) and he said sorry (but I viewed it as an insincere one because the typing was “suri suri haha”. Then he sent a meme and we just laughed about it. And that was our last interaction on the messenger. Then a few days later I emailed him about my feelings and he replied late saying “….. I should have known better” So after days I just blocked him on all platforms. But I still think of him every day and recently I just unblocked him and followed him again on *** and he followed me back lol. And I would post stories and all always seeing if he saw it already and thinking about what he is thinking about it in his POV. I posted something and he liked it. Just that one post tho and not my stories. I know and I am self-aware but I cannot do much about it. Like I wanna get a life but I still think of him no matter what I do. What are your thoughts? I'm open to criticism lol