Sexual abuse online?

I’ve (22 trans man) recently realized some stuff and I came here to get it out there and maybe get some second opinions and/or words of wisdom.

When I was around 15 or 16, years prior to coming out, I found myself in an online chat room (being born in the 2000s I’m not old enough to remember a time when chat rooms were the big thing so this was new to me) unfortunately, it was an 18+ chat room with no way of keeping minors out and I ended up being hit on in a very sexual manner by a man old enough to be my father. I felt uncomfortable by it and told him that, but he kept insisting it would be hot for me to keep talking to him and flirt back. Eventually I gave in despite having said no and we basically sexted in the dm’s of the site. I know I didn’t send any pictures, but I think he did, my memory is kinda vague on that detail. I don’t know why I even went to the site in the first place or why I gave into the guy’s insisting, but it started a habit of going back to the site and similar ones for more.

Fast forward to now, I still find myself using those sites sometimes and even anonymous cam sites, but I feel so gross about myself afterward. I don’t like it, but I keep going back. I’ve tried staying away, but that only works for so long. And even when I’m turned on and enjoying myself, as soon as I come down from the high I feel disgusted in myself and the content of the site, wishing I had just stayed away.

I don’t know if this counts as sexual trauma or if I have something else going on. I don’t even know if it counts as sexual abuse, assault, or grooming, or if it’s nothing at all and I’m overthinking it, but I thought posting something about it here might be beneficial. I think I’ve been kind of gaslighting myself into minimizing my experience, so an outside opinion might help clear things up.