When you want to work on the trama but have no idea where to start
may trigger:child sexual activities
So I’m in group therapy, it’s about all I could afford with the current income I’m on but I finally managed to be ok with bringing up my past and my experience with being in a child porn case….it was many many years ago and thankfully the case didn’t come up till I was 18 so my family still has no idea what part I had in the story or the full reason that detective came to our house that day…I still remember it and for the last 11 years I lived with the fact that photos of me were probably just sitting in a self in some evidence room….nothing even came of the case to my knowledge…he had been someone I had trusted in school…but it’s lead me down a road of untrust as well of a history of sex addiction thinking that was all I was good for and the only way someone would love me.
i have a loving boyfriend now who does what he can to work threw panic attacks I still have over this issue but my group guid thinks I should do 1v1 session with someone to work threw things since my lack of trust is starting to effect my day to day life, I want to make friends and lasting relationship but I’m always walking on eggshells around people as well as self destructive tendency where I beat my self up over some of the smallest mistakes…..
But what do you do when you are finally ready for help but help seems so far out of reach, I looked into 1v1 and it’s just out of my price range, it’s why I did the group to begin with.
I hope I’m in the right place for this, I’m never sure when it comes to groups or apps like this
@Upfromtheashes
I think you start where you want to start.... while therapy is a way to go... sometimes it is either out of our price range or as i found hard to find called a few places willing to pay and i do have better insurance with a new job but NO one is either available or professional enough to call back and just say they are not taking new clients...
I can understand how you may not want to talk about a thing like that.... and it would erode trust but remember you were a child that did not know not to trust someone especially if they seemed safe... people who prey on children KNOW that.... you are now older and understand that people often are not as they appear to be.... some learn this from simple betrayals you learned a much harder lesson...
i would say in general most people are cautious these days as they are aware of so many who use trust as a weapon against people. I sometimes think we assume others have it easier to meet friends and have better mental health but we really do not know what is happening in others lives by a glimpse.... if you do not want to walk on eggshells and pretend you are something else Don't.... I did for years but now i let me be me they can take it or leave it i am too tired and busy to play games hoping that keeps or makes friends...
So many seem distant for their own issues and finding and connecting with someone i feel is harder then it use to be...... the more we try to connect the more likely we find someone worthy to earn our trust and then you can let out little bits at a time.... as you feel comfortable..... once we get it out even on this site it makes the load we carry lighter....
