Why do every therapist just lie and invalidate?

@Zoils sorry to hear that sounds really horrible and not what a therapist should do :( have you tried talking to your current therapist about how you find them invalidating and such?

@Zoils I'm sorry you've had such bad experiences with your theapists. I've had two psychologists that basically have up on me. They both said I'm not ready and never came back. Now currently in the waiting list again😞 so yeah I understand. But I believe each therapist being human will have different reactions. And ways they believe is helpful. Communicating is what you need to do. It's scary but tell her you feel like shes invalidating you and see what happens. Gives zoil a giant tiny hug ❤❤

@Zoils

I do not think All therapists can fit into this.

Not sure how many you have used and the situation ......however if it was more then a few the question would arise if ALL did this what is the common denominator ... you.

Many times a therapist will ask us to look at things differently and consider things we might not have... that is not invalidation.. ..but a challenge to our perspective ........and for many that is not what we Want to hear.... Many people walk away from a session ticked off for that reason.

I understand how you feel. I have switched therapist and landed a good one here and there. The last one hurt my feelings by not doing and doing things. I have session 2 tomorrow with the new person. Hoping this goes right this time.

@Zoils

I'm sorry to hear that you have been having a bad experience with therapists; it's true that there are many therapists out there that aren't professional or well-trained, and it can be incredibly frustrating to find a good therapist. Some therapists are naturally better at the job than others, and some just don't understand what they are doing. Ways to find better therapists could be to thoroughly look for reviews, what training they had, and other things.

Other than that, when you have dealt with trauma, especially trauma that is very serious, some therapists just do not know how to deal with it or talk about it, and it's not necessarily because they do not want to help but because they do not know what to say. For instance, I was a victim of repeated rape and essentially was called a sex slave, and there is not a single person I have met in my lifetime who understands the feeling of what it's like to be treated and called a slave and told you have no human rights or soul. I've had psychiatrists stare at me and briefly see the horror flash through their eyes as I blankly explain the horrors that I went through. Some people in my everyday life that I've met have also attempted to "relate" to me and say that regular disagreements with their parents are somehow similar in the level of pain that happened to me, so they can "relate" to me.

No matter what any therapist says, know that your trauma is your trauma; not every therapist will be like this. After a number of tries, I managed to find a therapist who deeply cared about me and was willing to talk with me about happened without flinching and really wanting to listen. Some therapists are trained better than others, and some are more naturally good than others. Generally, therapeutic training pushes you to be more open and have empathy and understanding for people, so you detach your own judgments of the person themself and acknowledge who the individual is and the pains they have went through. I'm sorry that you have met the worser therapists, but it is possible to find a good therapist, as difficult of a process as it may be. Not all therapists are bad, and the therapists who made you feel like this are clearly not good therapists and didn't know what they were doing.