Call it what it is rape.
1/2
Dear Diary,
I am going to try to keep it clean as I can. I am going to try to get this out of my head. I'm tired of it bugging me. Sorry if I make anyone uncomfortable. I'm sorry if you don't want to be my friend anymore. I understand. My friend told me that if I open up to my friends it will help me heal. I just hope they are right. I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense.
So I moved this summer. I met my neighbor. I stepped out of my comfort zone and made friends with him. We talked constantly. We exchanged numbers. We talked/texted after hours. One night I fell asleep. He blew up my phone with what he was going to do to me the next day. I got scared. I ignored him. I hid in my house. He came over and apologized. He wanted to take me out to eat and to smooth things over. I said yes. We went to eat and he apologized. I thought he was genuine. He was driving us home.
*Ran out of room.
Taglist:
@Fluffykittens86, @Eccho, @BlissedNblessed, @Invaderstitch, @Rumplesteeleskin, @Kindsoul10, @Juniter, @Azurentz, @MissZ, @Ceedee32, @keenear96, @1Joyfulheart1, @Dancingrainbow45, @Dancingstrawberry34, @celegnircuthalion, @Coolvibes, @Lunahecate, @Kvo8, @Jaydenishere, @Tazcares, @Softwarmcookie, @faithfultown7500, @Twitch98, @Nenz, @Fluffyunicorns84, @OxfordshireGatsby, @vivespatates, @Supportivemonkey46, @Soulsings, @Sunfern, @Erato, @Yendi
Sorry if I missed any other of my friends. I tried. If you see this please pm me.
You are so strong to tell us your story and get that out of your mind. I am so proud of you.
Voicing your story is so important !
Giving it a voice is also both validating your expirience and all the emotions, but also is is standing up and refusing to hide in secret.
Nothing you did, or said or wore or thought... anything ( read: ANYTHING) caused this in any way.
He is to blame in every way.
I 100% support you and stand by you on this healing journey.
Thank you for sharing that with us.
I am so glad you can open up and heal.
It won't always be easy - but it is always going to be worth it.
I am here for you my friend.
<3
@blissedNblessed Thankyou for not giving up on me :-)<3 I really really really appreciate it. <3<3<3<3<3
@happydandan
I am not giving up on you.
You are a worthy person
you are a good person
im very happy to have met you
and honored to call you my friend
@blissedNblessed :') Thankyou
He passed our street and went to the forest in the park. To a secluded area. I started to run. He grabbed me. I started to fight. He held me. I ran out of strength. He picked me up and carried me to a "cave" made of brush. You can see out but you can't see in. He puts me down. I fight until I lose strength. All the while he pierces me. (Use your imagination for the rest).
Ok so after I got home I called the police and made a doctors appointment. (Thankyou listeners guides). They did take him away. I'm broken and crushed.
All month I've been trying to stay busy with 7cups, chores and hiding in the house. I saw him outside some time last week. Then a couple of nights ago he snuck in and I was out. I was asleep. (Again). He wakes me up. And immediately covers my mouth with kisses. I turn away. He forces his tongue inside. I can't scream. He pierces me again. (Use your imagination).
I'm covered in bruises. I have given up. All I can do is my responsibilities. I have gone brain numb. I'm fine is all I can handle for now. Until I know how to handle it. I'm not going to do anything to jeopardize my responsibilities on 7cups. This is how I self care. I throw myself into this site. I'm safe from me. If you have any ideas of you are still my friend. Please pm me. Thankyou for reading. Thankyou for not giving up on me. Thankyou that if you do decide that I'm not your friend anymore I had a pleasure having you as one. I'm sorry if this is the end of our friendship.
@happydandan this is so terrifying! I don't have enough words to console you because I can imagine how much terrifying and hurtful it must have been for you.
It takes enormous courage to share this and you're just an amazing person to muster that courage. You're have nothing to feel ashamed because you're not at any fault here.
You're loved, respected as any other human being. You're deserving of every good thing in life. And i am with you!
I can relate how crushing it feels deep inside to go through such horrifying experience and burying it in heart. I am proud of you that you decided to open up your heart and talk about it. You have taken one giant leap for yourself and inspired a lot more people to talk about such incidents and building a support system.
@SunFern Thankyou.
@happydandan
@happydandan Hey, reading your story made my heart ache, not because it triggered me but because i feel your pain. I am a rape survivor too. I do hope you have lots of support. Always here if you want a chat, you're definitely not alone here or anywhere in the world and i am glad you use this wonderful site for self-care.
@susie17790 Yes. Thankyou. I'm sorry you had to go through that too:-( I'm here if you want to talk.
@happydandan
Oh goshhh, that would have been so terrifying. :O It was awful that you were taken advantage of, and you did the bravest procedures following what happened. Thank you for sharing this personal experience and I hope that now since it's out of your head, you'll feel even the tinnest better. :) Just know I'm open for a chat anytime if you feel bad <3 Stay strong.
@Azurentz Thankyou <3
@palmtreesnrainbows, @qp
@happydandan @eviesweet I knew I forgot a few. I'm sorry.
@silentobserver
dandan you are an incredible person and your deserve to be heard and your friends will not abandon you because of someone elses cruelty. Thank you for trussting the communityh and don't feel ashamed if your healing hAS TO CONTINUE FROM THIS POINT EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE TOLD PARTS OF YOUR STORY. You share the hurt you have felt in enduring this as many times as you need too.
@coolvibes Awwwww Thankyou cool. It means a lot to me.
@happydandan you found the courage to open up and talk about it. I don't think words can describe how proud and happy I am that you didn't bury this deep inside your heart.
You have a heart as loud as lions don't let your voice be tamed!
I leave this hug (*hug*) here for you anytime you need one and this heart ❤ symbolizing "I care about you".
@kindSoul10 Hugs. Thankyou.
Dandan, it is truly horrible to have experienced that. It takes a lot of courage and bravery for you to be able to free yourself from this terrible encounter. I'm so sorry that you have to go through that thing but remember that you didn't deserve what happened. You shouldn't be treated that way. You're such a wonderful person to be treated like that. I'm so glad that even though it was traumatizing for you, you still seeked for help and did the right ways for you to gain justice. Thank you so much for trusting our community with your story. It's not that easy to open this up. I'm so proud of you. *huggles*
@Erato hugs. Thankyou.
Awe I'm still your friend sweetheart! <3
I'm sure no one will even think of dropping you as a friend, just because you were raped. How is that even considered to be your fault? It's not!! We are here for you, we are on your side, and we all hate your attacker so much.
@softwarmCookie awww Thankyou :')
Update: With all of the support I have received I grew strong. I scared myself a few times. He will never bother me again.
I am going to get through the rest of the pain. I don't know how long it is going to last. But little by little I will be back to my normal self. (I hope).
Thankyou all for the love and support. I really do appreciate it :-)<3
@happydandan
You can do this - I know you can and you are.
I beleive in you and at any time, you can count on me for support - just like you can count on this communiity.
WE LOVE YOU DANDAN! <3
@blissedNblessed Thankyou.
@happydandan
your welcome <3
@Butterflycat Thank you for sharing your story with us. I can't even begin to explain how strong you are.
You're not gonna lose any friends, none of this is your fault. So glad you could open up.
Lots of love and hugs 💜
@Bean43 Thankyou.
