Advice- confronting the abuser
I've heard that confronting your abuser can be helpful, I'm at a point where I'm willing to try almost anything.. but I am curious if anyone has had their own experience with this? Did it help or do more harm?
@goldenNest9885
Confronting anyone about past items often does not IMO get you the closure you may be seeking
especially in an abuse situation as many will deny and argue that you are making things up or "remembering incorrectly" which is a slap in the face...... it left me angry and unheard when they dismissed everything as misunderstandings or kept repeating " i do not recall this or that"
If you do decide to do this go in aware and this might happen and you will not be as angry ....... i was in just wanting to know why the person did something. never will know as they are gone now but from then on it has made me very angry when ever someone tries to sugarcoat and misdirect truth.
@goldenNest9885. Trigger warning.
The abuser wanted to talk with me some years later after they spoke to a psychologist. I would not call it confrontation what I did. I was actually very gentle in my approach. It did not go well at all. If a person has a history of violence, I think it’s better not to do this in person like I did. (For safety concerns ).
@goldenNest9885 I don't think it ever goes well tbh. They get defensive. They lie and deny - they claim not to remember. They'll claim you're remembering wrong. They'll make excuses and justify why they did something. Just from my experience - I ended up feeling worse and doubting everything about myself and the memories I have even more than I did before the confrontation
@goldenNest9885
Hello,
When you confront an abuser the reLITY OF THE SITUATION BRINGS THE ABUSER to a dangerous level of hostility that they may channel through you - just be careful and thank your lucky stars you got away