ptsd

Hi br1e222,

Im not an expert but I was diagnosised with ptsd 2 years ago, and on top of flashbacks this are some of the things I and other people living in a post traumatic state experience. Maybe some of this will resonate with you.

• nightmares, often bad enough to wake me up
• insomnia
• occasional sleep paralysis
• dissociation. Lights become very bright and I start having trouble/not being able to hold a train of thought. Sometimes I have trouble talking or understanding what other people are saying. I feel kind of floaty and sometimes my arms and legs will start to feel very heavy.
• hightened startle reflex, being very jumpy
• hypervigilance, I am always aware of all the exits on any room I’m in, and am always thinking about how I would escape if needed or what’s around if I needed a weapon, this is automatic and not something I conciously try to do. Also being very aware of other peoples emotions all the time, espically negative moods. “Safety planning” is very automatic for me.
• Guarding behaviour. Being uncomfortable turning my back to doors or hanging my feet down over chairs. I usually orient myself to the corner of rooms so I can always see enterances and exits, and always keep doors closed. I can’t sleep in a room with an open door. None of this behaviour was conscious till I got therapy.
• Triggers that put me in either a more dissociated or hypervigelent state, which varies a ton based on cause of trauma, and are something I wasn’t aware of at all until I had therapy. Men yelling, men standing close behind me, Men driving while even a little upset or in a mild bad mood, etc. Are all things that tend to trigger me for example.

I hope that helps, wishing you well on your path to healing. :)

Heyyy . I have ptsd too. I had the same thoughts as you but i did get flashbacks and i still do . The thing is , my dad , who was the abuser , did not abuse me (physicaly). So i thought it wasn't a trauma or something to make a "big deal" out of . When i got my first flashbacks i realised that it affected me much more than i thought so . Im still trying to cope with the memory . Even tho i didnt get physically abused, the fear and the panic i felt that day is captured inro my brain . From the image of the loving, safe, loyal dad i had in my head , i saw an animal , completely different person . Anyways, im sending you lots of love ❤ i hope i helped!

I think you answered your own question you have trauma in you past how ever big or small it can still effect you in ways you might not even notice I think it would be a good start to except the trauma in your past.

@br1e222 Everyone experiences PTSD differently espically based on what trauma was experienced. I was diagnosed with PTSD back in 2019, I was sexually abused. For me my symptoms are:

- Nightmares

- Flashbacks 

- Insomnia

- Physically pain - I get stomach pains

- I get very anxious in serious relationships

Like all conditions, there are a variety, of symptoms, but not everyone has the same ones. It is very difficult to pin down some of them, and it’s not a firm condition, that goes for everyone, I always look for information, and link it to. The way I feel and take it from there