April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM)

I didn’t realize the numbers were so high…

I will say, those statistics do not reflect the nature of reality. There is a major issue with sexual assault and abuse amongst men, and even quite often by female perpetrators. Men are solely less likely to Say anything. Imagine the report statistics for women; cripplingly ow. Most sexual assaults go unreported, and the numbers are staggering. However, among men those numbers and stories get even bleaker, as men are not raised to value their pain, feelings and internal struggles and the admission of such things is a massive cause for fear, and resistance, for the way that these things will make us appear and how the rest of the world, including our closest friends and family, will respond. Not only are the Vast majority of male-victim sexual assaults Never reported but there is rarely even a whisper spoken of the events. Men most often will quietly live out their days, and hope to whatever they have left that they will take that truth with them to their graves.

There is an interpersonally trackable, deeper suspicion and chatter, that the real statistic for male rape reflects that of women 1:1.

We are simply out hear fighting a silent battle.

I hope this fight will end, and the terror and shame of the cultural bonds will run along with it.

Have a nice day, everyone. Please support one another, and be conscious to give a listening ear to those in your life that might be having harder times speaking up.

Thank you.

_S_

@ASilentObserver

I'm not a victim, I am a survivor

@ASilentObserver

Hey Obs, thanks so much for creating this thread. I don't know if my response may seem a bit robotic, but if that's so, it's because I am in "safety mode" for myself while I participate.

Have you or someone you know experienced sexual violence? If so what are some things that have helped you or that person cope with your experiences? What is your favorite coping skill?

I've been a sexual assault survivor ever since I was seven years old. My perpetrator was a family member who harassed me from that age to just last year (twenty-one). He hasn't been able to touch me ever since I fled from my biological family, thank goodness. I have an easier time coping via writing down my experiences through fictional stories I create, and talking about it (if and when I'm ready to do so) with trusted friends. I'd say my favorite coping skill is the aforementioned writing, or if I really don't want to focus/remember the sexual assault, then I also turn to reading some of my favorite stories from childhood.

Is there anything you feel people don’t usually know about that you would like for people to be more aware of regarding sexual assault?

Part of why the assault happened was because my family allowed it to happen. "It's to be expected because you're a girl." "It's to be expected because you're the pretty one." "It's okay if it's family." Those lines, and lines like those, are all terrible, toxic, brainwashing mantras that try to convince you that it's okay to be touched without your consent. Don't believe them. Don't let anyone say that to you. Don't let them get away with it. Not if you can help it. I was young and didn't know any better. But I shouldn't have had to. I should have been able to trust my family to genuinely care for me and not let me be treated that way. So should you.

If you could say one thing to help someone who has experienced sexual assault or abuse to give them hope or inspiration, what would it be?

i have never really shared something here and while i‘m a listener for 4 years on 7cups, i never was on the other side. but here i am.

tw: child grooming; child pornography; manipulation

i was groomed as a child. saying this is already difficult enough. it happened on several messengers and chatrooms but omegle was the most common one. i basically went on webcam to talk to men who could have been my dad or even granddad, got naked and done everything they asked me for. it started when i was around 10 or 11 and went on until i was 15/16. 5/6 years of being taken advantage sexually on a daily basis, it‘s difficult to admit. i basically grew up really lonely, my family working a lot and without any friends or a real emotional support system, so these men giving me the validation and attention i was seeking was the thing which kept me going . i basically did everything they asked for so i would hear a „you‘re doing good“ or „you‘re amazing“. i just wanted to be seen for once. earlier i didn‘t really know that what i did was wrong but when i turned 13 i knew. and i felt shameful. once i logged off omegle, went to bed, i cried because i was so ashamed of what i‘m doing. i felt like the worst person ever, getting naked for men at least triple my age.

when i stopped, mainly because i couldn‘t handle the guilt anymore, i never thought a second about what happened to me. i never went on omegle, i never thought about these men.

a reddit forum brought me back to this not long ago. a similar experience as mine and it felt like a train wreck. this is a trauma i never processed. i never dealt with it, talked about it. this is the first time ever talking about this. and it affected me a lot, i realised, considering i‘m turning 22 soon and i can‘t be in a romantic relationship because this whole thing changed my view on men, love, sex and also myself.

the worst thing is how i feel about it. the shame i had back then is nothing compared to what i‘m feeling now. i feel disgusting, i feel awful, i feel like an object, i feel used. all these men, over hundred, maybe thousands, who used me for their own pleasure and left me feeling like this. i can‘t even talk to anyone because i‘m so ashamed. was i really that naive? it‘s my fault too, i consented - i took of my clothes. technically, they didn‘t force me. they didn‘t blackmail me. they didn‘t threaten me. no, i just wanted them to like me, to be proud of me, to be seen. it‘s an awful feeling. and my logical thinking obviously tells me that these are men who exploited minors, even children, and took advantage of them. it‘s their fault. of course it is. but why do i feel like this? do i really deserve to feel this disgusting? just the thought there is child porn on the internet of me is making me wanna throw up.

anyways: i don‘t know if anyone has read this, if yes i‘m so thankful, and if not then it‘s also okay. i just want to say if there is someone here who has experienced the same thing: you‘re valid. you‘re emotions are valid and also your thoughts. don‘t be ashamed of what happened which was absolutely not in your control. you got this. i‘m proud of you.

and this goes to everyone: i‘m proud of all of you. maybe you‘re still on a journey but you‘re doing great. the past; the trauma and the abuse are not who you are. i love you guys!

@ASilentObserver

So, it didn’t happen to me, but I saw it happen a few times.

A close friend who was molested by a family member as a child, and still has trauma, her boyfriend started touching her inappropriately. She freaked out, and thankfully there were several of her friends nearby to help her. They broke up and we still have to protect her against him. He’s not good about consent.

The other time was more recently. I was at track practice, and this high school boy showed up, and started touching other guys inappropriately. Like, 6 guys. One guy stood up for his friend, and the guy started being really inappropriate. He tackled him, but most people were treating it as no big deal, because they were guys. He came back yesterday. I didn’t see what was happening, and now I feel bad for not saying something.

@ASilentObserver

I was sexually assaulted multiple times at school by the same teacher and often had other male teachers in the room watching sometimes they would join. I was only 8 and I didn't/don't cope well with it. The worse thing that made me spiral really bad was I ran into him at the shops and he asked me so many questions about myself. I was only just able to keep it together but then I had to make out I needed to go to the bathroom. I just locked myself in there and cried so hard. I was *** scared he would follow me in there tho. I draw or listen to music or today I just had to go on a huge run/walk to know where. I ended up in the bush walk area quite far from my house. I had no phone or anything so mum got real mad but it was worth it for a little while then crashed again.