Sexual Assault and Stigma
The month of April is Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month in the United States. This month is dedicated to raising awareness to the reality that is sexual assault and brings increased attention to these crimes and the ways communities can work together to prevent them (RAINN).
What is sexual assault?
Sexual assault is any type of sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the explicit consent of the recipient (Justice.gov).
Statistics (RAINN)
- Every 98 seconds another American is sexually assaulted
- Every 8 minutes that victim is a child
- On average, there are 321,500 victims (age 12 or older) of rape and sexual assault each year in the United States
- 1 out of every 10 victims of sexual assault are male
- 94% of women who are raped experience post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms during the two weeks following the rape
- 30% of women report PTSD symptoms 9 months after the rape
- Approximately 70% of rape or sexual assault victims experience moderate to severe distress, a larger percentage than for any other violent crime
The Stigma
The stigma of sexual assault can make survivors feel as if the assault is happening all over again (Healthy Place). The stigma of sexual assault is so ingrained within American culture that people often dont even realize that what they say can actually humiliate sexual assault victims.
Survivors will often be faced with reactions of discomfort, fear, or avoidance of the subject by changing the topic of the conversation when they tell people that they had been sexually assaulted. Reactions like this can lead to strong feelings of shame and embarrassment. Some questions have the ability to imply that the victim shares some blame for the assault and suggest that they are at fault (Healthy Place). This stigma can be a barrier that so many are unwilling to cross to report the assault.
Unlike some other traumatic events, public stigma surrounding sexual abuse or assault are often daunting to talk about because of the personally invasive nature of the crime. (University of Alabama). Then survivors are faced with the thoughts of ‘now Im destroyed, Im damaged, nobody will love me, I hate myself, and all these negative things because if thats the worst thing that can happen, whats the point? The University of Alabama has made efforts to raise awareness of this reality and focus on topics such as attitude change and consent definitions. Those committing these offenses arent going to be deterred if there are no consequences for their actions.
The key to helping victims of sexual assault is to be compassionate and to realize there is no specific timeline to healing. Many victims struggle with the senselessness of rape, that nothing they did caused the assault other than being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Recovering from rape is different for every person, and has a lot to do with recovering the power taken during the assault (University of Alabama). Focusing on being supportive, confidential, and available is necessary when talking with a survivor, especially when survivors feel like they have nowhere else to go without the possibility of judgment.
Discussion Questions
1) How would you define stigma?
2) How can you help bring awareness to the reality sexual assault survivors face in terms of stigmatization?
3) What are some ways that can reduce stigmatization of sexual assault?
4) What are some ways you can be compassionate towards a sexual assault survivor?
Resources:
https://www.rainn.org/news/rainn-prepares-sexual-assault-awareness-and-prevention-month-2017
https://www.justice.gov/ovw/sexual-assault
https://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence
https://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/rape/getting-raped-the-stigma-of-being-a-rape-victim/
https://www.cw.ua.edu/article/2016/02/breaking-the-stigma-of-sexual-assualt
@EssenceofHope @Dillon @Jenna @MissZ @InvaderStitch @PassionatePeyton @BurningEmber @MimiBliss @RedBlossom @Amelia
Wow, lovely post! I think this topic needs to be talked about more! 
1) How would you define stigma?
I think stigma is that negative voice that deprives you of your voice. You live in this constant fear of what people would say and how they would react. It is the disgust people show to issues that you don't have control over.
2) How can you help bring awareness to the reality sexual assault survivors face in terms of stigmatization?
I can try and raise my voice to talk about it through platforms like 7cups but my choices are limited given that I live in a society where we pretend *Sex* doesn't exist.
3) What are some ways that can reduce stigmatization of sexual assault?
Be compassionate when someone shares their story and don't make them regret it. When someone is talking about this topic in a stigmatizing manner, confront them and try and see their point and clarify what it really is as most people just lack knowledge or don't understand the topic well enough. Some people are ignorant but most can be educated. Always be compassionate in your dealings with people who are not understanding the topic. Compassion goes a long way.
4) What are some ways you can be compassionate towards a sexual assault survivor?
make them feel heard and remember the fact that what happened was not their fault and give them their space and time to open up. Respect their privacy understand that they are having a hard time. In summary *be there for them*
@EssenceOfHope
Thank you! Those are some great points and this topic is something that so many find difficult to talk about. I agree that it does need to be discussed a bit more.
@EssenceOfHope
Thank you! I feel like can't complain bcs of mine sexuallity...
@conscientiousPineapple1782
No one deserves to be violated sexually. Your sexuality is your business and does not give anyone the right to rape you. I'm sorry if others have made you feel that you don't have the right to speak up about being raped/violated. I promise that you have just as much that right as anyone else.
@wg3k thank you
Great post! Thank you so much for educating the community on such a misunderstood and stigmatized topic!
1) How would you define stigma?
Stigma is shaming. It's a negative representation of something often due to lack of understanding of the subject matter.
2) How can you help bring awareness to the reality sexual assault survivors face in terms of stigmatization?
There's an organization on campus that I think would be really great to get involved in.
3) What are some ways that can reduce stigmatization of sexual assault?
I think more education about the topic would help to reduce the stigmatization.
4) What are some ways you can be compassionate towards a sexual assault survivor?
I think listening to their story without judgement and being mindful about what you say so that you're careful not to say something that might be more triggering.
@InvaderStitch Thanks! It really isn't talked about the way it needs to be. And I agree with your answers, getting involved in a club would be helpful to raise awareness!
And don't ever laugh when someone is sharing there story
@Sunflower2091
Absolutely! I'm sorry if you have personally experienced that. It is a terrible thing to do. Sexual assault is no laughing matter.
@Sunflower2091
Sorry if that's ever happened to you. If you saw or heard anyone on 7cups do that please be sure to report them to the moderators.
Going to self-defence class either with someone that had a bad experience or just with friends can both help make you feel more empowered (less victimized) and help reduce stigma. Often the women's defence classes will educate on more than just the defence moves. It can be very fun and bonding experience for anyone going. It can be a good place to make friends especially when classes are held at colleges. It's not at all about "man hating" and some of them are LGBTQ+ friendly accepting of all genders. I recommend Wen-Do for women specifically as that's what I've been to. It's a weekend course that covers a lot of bases without requiring muscle. There's also usually a sliding scale payment for those that need it.
@CoinFountain
A self-defense class is great to help someone feel more empowered. One's that focus on assault situations can be helpful, but we have to remember, women aren't the only ones that become victim to sexual assault, 10% of victims are male. The classes are a great place to meet people that may have been in a similar situation, and the ones at universities are great (and usually free to students). Most of them will be LGBTQ+ friendly and accept everyone, no matter the path they walk in. I practiced Taekwondo myself for years and it was great, but sometimes just knowing what you "should" do isn't going to mean you will actually do it, unfortunately. Our brains go into fight or flight in these situations, and we make the decision that seems to make the most sense for our own safety in the situation.
Yes, that's true. Many assults happen by people that are known and sometimes close to the people being attacked such as dating situation. It's harder to use the self defence when you don't really want to hurt that person. Being practiced at the softer techniques that won't cause permanent damage can be helpful in that area but still it can be confusing when in the situation that catches you off guard.
@CoinFountain
Absolutely. Most people know their attacker and that makes it harder to defend themselves. True, softer techniques can cause less damage, but it may take more than that to get out of the situation they are in. It is very easy to be confused in what to do when a person knows who is attacking them and is caught off guard. We can never know exactly how we will react in a situation until it happens.
1) How would you define stigma?
Like something negative and luck of empaty. Not having understanding and make preguides... Somth like that.
2) How can you help bring awareness to the reality sexual assault survivors face in terms of stigmatization?
It's never victams foult!
3) What are some ways that can reduce stigmatization of sexual assault?
Knowledge, understanding and most of all empaty... victams have difficult time and with judging may meke thing just worse!
4) What are some ways you can be compassionate towards a sexual assault survivor?
I let person to deal with it how thinks it's best... try be there and understand... Don't make conclusion or think that person changed beaouse of it, meaning it's still same person... I just try to be empatic actually and try to help best I could...
@conscientiousPineapple1782
Great answers! Right, it is never the victim's fault. So many survivors are told that it is their fault and feel guilty. Having knowledge, understanding, and empathy towards survivors can help reduce stigmatization. Judgment from others can make things worse. You allow them to do what they believe is best for them, try to understand, and you still see them as who they are. That's great!
Thanks for this thread. Sexual assault is a very serious topic surrounded by much stigma. From my viewpoint, the key for prevention is education - to educate people (not only children!) on respect, to make sure they learn they have no right over others' bodies and that nobody has any right over their bodies.
I send all my support and best wishes to survivors. ♥
@OrangeWarrior
You're welcome. Education of everyone is huge in fighting the stigma. Teaching people to have respect for others and that we are the decision makers of our own bodies is important.
These are very important questions to ask ourselves and each other. Thank you for posting. I apologize if my bolding is obnoxious.
1) How would you define stigma?
A stigma is a negative association that society imposes upon a certain characteristic or event, which unfairly gets applied to anyone or anything related to it. Unfortunately, it causes us to avoid talking about important topics like sexual abuse. The stigmas surrounding sexual abuse discourage victims from speaking up, prevent others from reaching out to help, deny the public (particularly young children) proper education, and interfere with our ability to engage in open and honest public discourse on this important topic that affects us all. For someone who has been sexually abused/assaulted, stigmas can serve to re-traumatize the person throughout the rest of their life.
2) How can you help bring awareness to the reality sexual assault survivors face in terms of stigmatization?
It is a sad fact of life that there are plenty of people and institutions that will not be supportive to a sexual assault survivor. Legal systems and law enforcement are often influenced by these stigmas and frequently fail the victim. Family members and friends of a survivor may be similarly influenced, and often end up making the survivors struggle even harder. It is common for a survivor to have absolutely no one in their life that can give them good support due to widespread ignorance and misconceptions about sexual assault. What I can do is to educate myself on the topic, and educate those around me.This way I can be a good support to those who reach out to me. I can also gently reach out to others who seem like they need a supportive person to talk to. My support can make a huge difference, especially if the person does not have any other support in their life.
3) What are some ways that can reduce stigmatization of sexual assault?
In my personal life, I often hear people make off-handed comments that demonstrate an ignorance about sexual assault (for instance: victim-blaming or the idea that men cant be raped). I take this opportunity to start a discussion with them about how destructive these types of statements are to society, and to many of the people they care about. Remember, there are many people who promote dysfunctional viewpoints without even realizing it. These people will be more open to hearing your point of view if you speak to them with respect and honesty.
4) What are some ways you can be compassionate towards a sexual assault survivor?
Ask the person how they would like you to help them, and be a trustworthy, reliable friend. It is important to be respectful of their feelings and needs, in the way that their abuser wasnt. This means that you allow them to speak up about their trauma at their own pace and when they do, listen without judgment. You can reassure them that it isnt at all their fault and all the responsibility lies with the abuser. Many survivors are conflicted in their feelings surrounding the abuse, and it is important to let them know that they are perfectly normal in their reaction. You can identify resources for them to contact, particularly local organizations that are set up specifically to help those who were sexually abused/assaulted. Whatever the person decides to do, it is important to respect those decisions and their privacy (although there are certain exceptions in the case of a child victim).
@wg3k
Oh man. These are really great answers and super to the point. Yes yes yes!! I agree and I'm proud of you for being willing to be so up front about this :) PS the bold is wonderful, brought attention to really important points.
May I respond to just the 4th question...4) What are some ways you can be compassionate towards a sexual assault survivor?
Try to understnd that many abuse suvivors have rather big issues with trust. Do not betray any trust that you offer them or they give (honor) you (with). Above all, abusing a trust will leave scars that are as deep, if not deeper than the original trauma(s). By trusting you, a survivor is telling you that you make them feel safe and its okay to be vulerable with you. Betraying this serves to reinforce for them that people are not trustworthy and it is not safe to be vulnerable and let people in. The world is not a safe place. For some (of us, yes 'us') betrayal reinforces their feelings of worhlessness and inferiority, leaving some feeling more like garbage than they did before they ever met you. Please think carefully about what you do and how you behave towards a survivor of sexual assault or abuse. If they let you in their lives, know that is is because they have chosen to trust you and, in an ideal world, this should make you feel honored. Respect that trust and honored position. As survivors are regular people, these suggestions apply to all regular people (as well).
@berry1900
For sure! Trust is huge for a survivor and is something very special to be given. And trust is one of those that once you lose it, it can be extremely hard to earn back.
Wow, I agree , awareness is needed to decrease the high incident rates, where I live , in the US ,the main focus from grade school -high school is bullying, which is important to teach, but sexual abuse is up there and doesn't get much attention here.
@jr50
I'm in the US too and they do focus so heavily on bullying, which is important because it can lead to sexual assault and abuse by peers. Sexual assault and abuse are topics that many don't want to discuss because of the stigma attached to it. Awareness of it is definitely needed to decrease the high incident rates.
my first kiss was taken by a guy from my school who was high that time, he grabbed me by the hair hard and slammed me against the wall, cornering me. the whole school then knew about that and i was bullied and laughed for it because i cried so hard "just because of a kiss". it was just a kiss yes, a kiss that i wanted to give my husband someday.
@blackblackblack441
I am so sorry that happened to you and that you were bullied for it. So many people don't understand the effect that assault can leave on a person.
