Is name calling a type of bullying?
I had a situation last year that was upsetting. I was attending a hiking group which was out of town. Most of the time we would all go hiking and that was all. Then one day I suggested we go get some lunch because after hiking we worked up an appetite. We met at a restaurant. One of the guys and one of the girls were being very attentive to each other and then the girl bought the guys meal. Later I asked the guy if there was something going on between them. He said no. The girl found out what I said and she got really upset. Then the leader of the group told me at another hike that the girl dropped out of the group. The leader wanted me to talk to the girl. The girl didn't want to talk to me and instead she texted me to tell me I was a " Wack Job." I went back to the group and the leader would not stop talking about it. I stopped going to the group and I dropped out because it was no fun and I didn't enjoy going. Since then the girl rejoined the group. The girl never apologized. What do you think?
@adaptableEast9058 Name calling can be a type of bullying if the person calling you names has power over you, and if it happens repeatedly.
STOMP Out Bullying describes it like this:
"This repeated and hurtful act includes: name calling, inflicting physical pain, exclusion, public humiliation, hurtful pranks and defacing one's property. Bullying involves an imbalance of power."
In the situation you described, the girl only texted you once, and she has no power over you. So it does not seem right to think of it as bullying.
To think the whole situation through in more detail, it might be helpful to chat to a listener about what happened. Any listener with a Chat Now button on our Browse Listeners page should be able to help.
Charlie
There is a girl who is my sponsor. She keeps calling me a dog with a bone because I tend to not let things go especially at work. Sometimes there are problems at work that don't seem to get solved the way that i want them solved so I ruminate about it and usually talk to my sponsor and she calls me a dog with a bone. I told her I don't like it when she says that. I asked her how this is helping me. She stopped calling me a dog with a bone for awhile but now she started back again.
@adaptableEast9058 It sounds like she wants to let you know that it is better to let things go even when they have not been solved the way you would want. There is a saying that "perfect is the enemy of good". Perhaps she might be willing to change and say that to you instead of the dog with bone thing. Maybe you can ask her if she knows that saying, and if she agrees with it.
Charlie
How do you let things go? Unfortunately I have anxiety problems and OCD. It does not help when she says to let it go because I can't just let it go, my brain gets stuck in a loop and I keep ruminating about the situation. I do alot to try to let things go such as talk about it, write about it, listen to meditations, pray, go to the gym, and try to distract myself from what I am thinking about.
@adaptableEast9058 Oh, anxiety and OCD can be very difficult, and they often need professional treatment. Do you have therapy or medication that helps?
I agree with you that it can be difficult to just let go. Sometimes you have to find a different way to think about the situation. For example, when there is a problem at work, sometimes it can be useful to think about the cost of different solutions and the time spent. Maybe your sponsor also knows some techniques that she uses to let go of problems.
Charlie
Yes I am in professional therapy and I take medication for the OCD. Thanks for your suggestions.