The 7 Cups Values Series (Week 3/7): High Warmth & High Expectations
Hello everyone, and welcome to part 3 of our 7-part 7 Cups Values Series!
This week, we are focusing on the culture we build here every single day and how we apply that same culture to our own personal growth.
This week’s value is (my personal favorite): High Expectations & High Warmth. At 7 Cups, this means delivering quality work supported through learning, safety, and candor.
In psychology and leadership research, the combination of high warmth and high expectations is considered the "gold standard" for growth. Studies show that if we only experience warmth, we feel comfortable, but we don't grow. If we only face high expectations, we can become stressed and burned out.
However, when you combine the two, you create an environment of psychological safety. You feel deeply cared for and safe making mistakes (High Warmth), but you are also challenged to step up, learn, and be the best version of yourself (High Expectations). We strive to provide this balance for each other here at 7 Cups through genuine care and honest, supportive candor.
Now, let’s look at how we apply this value to ourselves. In your mental health or personal growth journey, it can be tricky to balance self-compassion with holding yourself accountable.
In the replies below, share how you balance these two sides of the coin:
High Warmth:
What is one way you show yourself grace, self-compassion, or forgiveness when you are struggling?
High Expectations:
What is one personal goal, boundary, or standard you hold yourself to, even when it is difficult?
@Heather225
This is one of my personal favorites tooo! 💖 Gold standard and for a great reason!
Also? here is my honest reaction to when you said “ Now, let’s look at how we apply this value to ourselves.”
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Fr!
Alright circling back xD, H, I’m glad you mentioned the “ourselves” part here, because it’s easierrrr to hold someone else to high expectations and also super easy to show them high levels of warmth, then it’s also comparatively easy to hold yourself to high expectations while dealing with others and again, super easy to show others higher amount of warmth.
But “applying that same thing to self”…?! 🤯
Showing self high warmth while balancing it with high expectations is where I feel many of us are still in the learning curve!
High Warmth:
What is one way you show yourself grace, self-compassion, or forgiveness when you are struggling?
High Expectations:
What is one personal goal, boundary, or standard you hold yourself to, even when it is difficult?
Replying to the two together since it’s inter-connected for me.
I feel like now, mentally and emotionally i am in a place in life where i just know better about my tolerance and lack of, with certain kinds of situations and people, and also more aware of “what happens” when I don’t assert my boundaries well or do “slip-ups”, even if minor ones.
Soo for me, my high expectations lie in the fact that I remove myself quickly from any places, situations or people that negatively impact my energy.
And I show myself high warmth in ways where I constantly remind myself that I’m doing the right thing in choosing my peace over whatever the other option was.
Which sometimes doesn’t look “right” and is almost never “easy”, but it’s a choice nevertheless and there’s no amount of warmth higher in my eyes, than making the choice of choosing yourself over anything else, and then no amount of expectations higher than actually ensuring that you put in the work to be chosen by yourself, on a daily basis! 💪💖
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
What a beautiful moment to witness another teammates "growth mindset"! 😊 ❤️ This was highly impactful for me!
I love how you said "which sometimes doesn't look right" and maybe what it is, is that it doesn't look right to others. The same others that are potentially ignoring your boundaries and won't ever validate you for holding strong to them. What a bummer for them, huh? 😊 They can feel quite inconvenienced. I get it.
And also...."and it's almost never easy". No, it isn't, at all. As thoughtful people, we can feel so bad for having to set a boundary in the first place. The pick, pick, poke, poke and push, push, push gets old. Carrying the emotional load for another persons negative behavior gets quite heavy. We sit around and are concerned about their feelings instead of considering why it is that they have no interest in ours.
Great job on knowing ones self, choosing ones self and validating ones self in those difficult moments.
*high fives* 😊 and *hugs* ❤️
@SparkyGizmo
Aww yes indeed, of all people, I knew you’d know and you’d get it, like always hehe. Agreed with everything you said. 🫂💖
Sparkyyy Sparkkk, this particular value “High expectations, high warmth” always reminds me of you here, for as long as I’ve known you here (close to 6 years now! whatttt?! 😭🧿) you’ve been the prime example embodying this gold-standard value in each action and interaction you carry around with everyone here.
I also feel, it must’ve been you from whom I came to first know about this value in our community and the very first person to actually also lead with example defining what it really meant to be someone with high expectations and high warmth. At times where I didn’t even realise it myself, you were the one to assure me that I was carrying this value without even trying, and that meant sooo much to me, to be seen in my being, to be seen without even wanting to be noticed. And I see you doing that for sooo many of us, on a daily basis, consistently, you see the good in people and you tell them too. So a big big thanks to youuu for always knowingly and unknowingly even, reinforcing the good in everyone around you. 🥰💖
Biggg hugs and high fives backkk! 🤗💖
@heather225
Even on hard days, I hold myself to showing up with kindness — both to others and to myself. I try to reply with patience, even when I'm tired. That's the boundary I keep, because growth happens when we care and still show up
@Heather225
High Warmth:
What is one way you show yourself grace, self-compassion, or forgiveness when you are struggling?
There is always a chance to grow and improve - a growth path on forgiveness has been of the aspects of wonderful help. Intrapersonal questions do help to in relation to how you are connecting with yourself first. Thank you :D
High Expectations:
What is one personal goal, boundary, or standard you hold yourself to, even when it is difficult?
Trying very best with time management, softened tone.
