The 7 Cups Values Series (Week 3/7): High Warmth & High Expectations
Hello everyone, and welcome to part 3 of our 7-part 7 Cups Values Series!
This week, we are focusing on the culture we build here every single day and how we apply that same culture to our own personal growth.
This week’s value is (my personal favorite): High Expectations & High Warmth. At 7 Cups, this means delivering quality work supported through learning, safety, and candor.
In psychology and leadership research, the combination of high warmth and high expectations is considered the "gold standard" for growth. Studies show that if we only experience warmth, we feel comfortable, but we don't grow. If we only face high expectations, we can become stressed and burned out.
However, when you combine the two, you create an environment of psychological safety. You feel deeply cared for and safe making mistakes (High Warmth), but you are also challenged to step up, learn, and be the best version of yourself (High Expectations). We strive to provide this balance for each other here at 7 Cups through genuine care and honest, supportive candor.
Now, let’s look at how we apply this value to ourselves. In your mental health or personal growth journey, it can be tricky to balance self-compassion with holding yourself accountable.
In the replies below, share how you balance these two sides of the coin:
High Warmth:
What is one way you show yourself grace, self-compassion, or forgiveness when you are struggling?
High Expectations:
What is one personal goal, boundary, or standard you hold yourself to, even when it is difficult?
@Heather225
I hold myself to honesty no matter what, and I stand up against all forms of bullying and belittling, no matter how hard 🥰
@Amanda84
🫂
I follow my path thru my intuition
What is one way you show yourself grace, self-compassion, or forgiveness when you are struggling?
For me, I just accept the fact that I can only ever be me. And being me means knowing that I have a lot of problems. My brain is constantly thinking and it never rests. Even when I'm hurting, I have to get outside of myself and do for others and keep myself busy mentally. That's all I know to do to not spiral. I'm a private person, not much of a talker... so showing grace to myself is seen when I'm able to actually stop and rest. It's seen when I'm able to be vulnerable and open up. It's seen when I can admit "hey, I need help..." It's seen when I can be ok with being the crazy, imperfect, flawed Desiree that I am. I don't have to pretend or mask. I just have to be honest with myself and kind to myself. I have to forgive myself. I have to keep loving myself. That's me showing my own self grace... and, man, do I need it. ❤️
@YourCaringConfidant
I'm so proud of you for being you! 💪🏻💞
@Heather225
High warmth: I dont really have a high warmth because no one is there for me and its exhausting to be alone but I m always trying to be there for myself even if its hard to be the whole time. I hope that counts
High expectations: I have many goals and my main one is to lock in this summer to become the best version of myself despite what I m going through.
@cheerfulKiwi1776
@trueconfidant123
Thank you 🫂
@Heather225
I try to be gentle with myself no matter the circumstances. I stand against evil even if I'm the only one protesting against the wrong.
I true my best to be a kinder person everyday. Sometimes when kindness might elude me I walk away.
@Heather225
Hi H! 😊 ❤️
Many thanks for this next part of the series. 😊 ❤️ I'm not surprised, in the least that this one would be your favorite!
I love the concept of high warmth and high expectations and it's a good thing to keep in mind, always. I see it, as you see it.
As it applies here on the platform, I see it as being highly knowledgeable, providing resources, helpfulness towards others, teachable moments, explaining S.O.P.'s, best practices, helping to guide the way for others while being kind and considerate, showing empathy and compassion while doing so.
I see it as being approachable, being a safe haven. Making it feel okay to ask questions and to learn and grow together.
All high expectations with no warmth can fall flat. Might be knowledgeable, but might make you feel really bad for not knowing as much as they do and could lend to others repelling from you instead of gravitating towards you. If the coldness is there, you may stop believing in that person as a leader. If it's harsh and punitive, it's off putting.
All warmth, hey, use what you got!!!! I see it as the least we can do around here. None of us have to be walking encyclopedias of 7 cups. We can learn as we grow, but at the very least, we should do it kindly.
It's the rare breed that can do both....high warmth and high expectations and when you see someone doing it, oh, you'll know it as it's a beautiful thing to witness and an incredibly elegant approach. Even sometimes it can be noticing that another person is rising above that moment. That someone is being calm when others aren't feeling quite that way and staying the course to be helpful.
These are people that are capable of seeing when someone is hurting, frustrated, frightened. They don't take it personally, they know it's not directed at them (or shouldn't be), but maybe what it is that they are looking at represents "scar tissue". Calm, supportive, safe help ensues.
It's an honor for me to tag the most shining examples of High Expectations and High Warmth. I'm truly grateful for you, I appreciate you! And, I see you! ❤️
@Heather225 @mytwistedsoul @OptimisticEmpath @AnnaSilverburg @GlenM
*high fives* 😊 and *hugs* ❤️
@SparkyGizmo (big hugs) ❤️❤️
@mytwistedsoul
❤️❤️❤️
@Heather225
High Warmth:
What is one way you show yourself grace, self-compassion, or forgiveness when you are struggling?
I've yet to learn how to do this. Still learning how to do it when I feel strong.
High Expectations:
What is one personal goal, boundary, or standard you hold yourself to, even when it is difficult?
Too many High Expectations. I can't let go.
@heather225
High Warmth I remind myself that struggling doesn't mean failing. I take a break without guilt, and tell myself: 'You're doing the best you can right now.' 💛
High Expectations I hold myself to showing up even when I don't feel like it. I try to reply with kindness, even on hard days. That's my boundary with myself. 🌿
