At 16, my thoughts are consuming me and it's ruining me and my whole life.
I've already ranted about this, but I feel ashamed and hate remembering that I failed the 9th grade maths exam four times. Now, I'm almost failing in every subject in 10th. I feel *** and probably am. Every day is a sad day, and I can't recall when I last felt happy. Life seems pointless for someone like me who keeps failing. I see no good in myself.
@lavenderVillage7191
Failing at something in school just shows areas you made need to work on or help in understanding.. i feel test some people simply stress and do poorly. have you sought out a tutor or some other person to show you.
Many things in life i found difficult when someone else showed me from a different angle it made sense and there is NO value in punishing yourself for past issues.....failing is in the past ...moving forward find new ways ... life is a big video games sometimes we cannot seem to get past a level but most seek out advice / help or try different approaches to move forward NOT let it make us think we will never get past it.
@lavenderVillage7191 Hey, I hear you. Seeing a score on a damn piece of paper for a math test somehow feels like a grade for who you are as a human. But. *** that. Centuries ago, math was irrelevant. You would watch your parents as you grew up, maybe help them with work, master some skill and contribute to society. That's it. How crazy is it that we now have to learn the skills for every single complex profession out there, though maybe we are the absolute master of just one?
Long story short: *** school. Do something what you care about. Just do it. Prioritize it. I was depressed for years, suffocated by school, and so so overwhelmed. Then I started journaling—just getting all that *** out of my head. Then one day, I wrote a "goals for this week", and it had one thing: "do things that make me happy." I cried, out of relief, because I finally decided thatI was going to prioritize me. Not school. Not grades. Not my family and all their issues. Me.
So you. Write. Walk. Do things that lighten the dread. Do things that make the little "you" inside your brain, happy. That's all that matters.
