Frustrated, need advice
Hi,
As I am sitting on my bed this morning enjoying my cup of coffee, I notice that I'm tensed up and my mood is dark. Why, you might ask... I wish I knew.
The first thing I think of after noticing this is be a safe space (I don't have the support I need. Yes, I am loved and cared for, but I don't have emotional support)
Now, here is where I need advice :...how can I become my own safe space if my body and mind go against my wishes?
Let me explain, I would usually make a decision now to allow myself to feel without judgment or ask why for a few minutes, then I will enjoy my day.
However by midday I'm as depressed as can be, and I become a horrible person.
How can I become my own safe space if my body and mind go against my wishes?
@quickwittedWest5643
I see my mind and body working together.
In the first example, when my body interrupts my mind with something, it isn’t going against my mind, it is informing it: I’m being alerted to something. I used to be a very anxious person, and in my spiritual practice, I was taught that the things my body “alerted” me to, were mostly false alarms.
Once I accepted that reality, then I started to uncover what was really going on. In the 2nd example, “by midday I'm as depressed as can be” … my practice takes extra steps to uncover what might be going on with me that day, at that very moment.
@Faithfulscout
I have been rereading your reply throughout the day and I'm not understanding you.
If there is a threat cool, deal with it. But now there is no threat, and I have allowed myself to feel, and now I'm making a conscious choice to have a good day. Yet my body and mind goes against what I want.
You said "takes extra steps to uncover"...no i can't always say what or why by midday, but most of the time it's small and petty things that pushes me down giving me no reason to feel the way I do.
What I take from this, the first part about the anxiety— your body/mind get accustomed to the “threat” sensation and you need to be able to build new neuropathways. A retrain your brain thing. Maybe 🤔
As far as your afternoon, are you hungry? Or tired? Often anxiety uses up all your energy. I’m wondering if the depression/irritability is coming from something of that sort. I could be totally wrong but, just throwing it out there.
@quickwittedWest5643
Hi … would it be okay if we sectioned off our discussion in a Pen Pal thread, which others may observe but not participate in?
(I’ve started one for us here: Go to “Community” - “Peer Groups” - “Pen Pals” - … and look for our post.)
If this isn't okay, then I’ll try my best here 🙂
I’m going to learn some things from you in the answers.
You sound EXACTLY like me. And it is an awful feeling. My therapist tells me to not look for the why but to utilize coping techniques in effort to calm and ground myself.
But I too am I person that wants to find the reasoning, avoid it, and then I think that actually makes it more uncomfortable (just realizing that as I type) I guess you’ve already taught me something. So thank you for that.
I hope you are able to reduce your anxiety and panic 🤗 ♥️
@peachThinker662
Thanks so much for commenting!
Yes, anxiety is such an awful feeling! I used to think my mother was always mad at me, but it wasn't until my 20s that I realized she was a very anxious person.
Hey, thanks again for sharing your thoughts … I would love to hear how your relationship with anxiety changes!
With ayurveda there is a big emphasis on doing small routines on a daily basis to help your body and mind so your spirit can be more happy. For example if someone is restless before bed or anxious , they recommend a piece of toast with butter and a warm glass of milk. They recommend daily stretching or yoga or exercise. Daily small regular meals with high quality foods. All these small maintenance routines every day can help you to try to maintain your balance no matter what happens in life. One book that helped me a lot is Ayurveda the Science of Self Healing by Dr Vasant Lad. I'm not giving medical advise and check with your doctor about any possible herbs interacting with any possible medication you could be taking. But this helps me so much every day!
@quickwittedWest5643
You are definitely not alone. I feel like this often too. The answer is everchanging. For one, my mind IS my worst enemy. It brings up all the negativity even when there has been no tigger or threat. I suppress the thoughts by using youtube videos or tv or movies in order to just get through the day. I reach for my phone because it is the easiest and cloest thing to me. Sometimes a walk helps and sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes calling my mom helps and sometimes it doesn't. All in all I try different things in order to not become a mindless zombie doomscrolling or carry around a bad aura so big that others notice. I have a list of things that calm me and re-center me because one is not enough. One thing is not the appropriate solution in every situation when the negative thoughts kick in. I hope you find what you need.
@quietLake352
I too distract myself and it does help. What I long for (my end goal) is to heal from or learn how to live a full life with my ADHD, CPSTD & BPD.
I don't want to live on auto mode anymore.
I truly hope you find your way too
@quickwittedwest5643
I had the same feeling today dear..I had wanted few of my desires to get done with..im not talking about sexuall desires but dreams of achieving small dreams but it didn't work out so I was upset at first,then cried..then I went to church and prayed,felt a little better.. usually our moods change when our desires are not met and we are frustrated..Just believe that God has a plan for everyone in this world..Trust that he will work out our plans according to his will..we just need to keep going and trust in God..Hope ur feeling better now♡