I am confused..
Hi, I don't know what to feel.
First and foremost, I don't have friends... All of my previous friend group all ended due to backstabbing and betrayal.
The thing is, I have some classmates whom I am still friends with but sadly drifted away, they have reached out and asked if I wanted to go to our reunion this month, I declined in respect for my boyfriend and his feelings, my classmates had no issues with it, only wishing that I could've come but respected it anyway...
Now the issue is I wished to remain in contact with my classmates, especially the female ones since I was much more closer with them than the boys, and also due to me respecting my boyfriends boundaries. When i mentioned it to my bf, he wanted me to leave, he felt uneasy and he doesn't like it if I have any contact with males, he doesn't have any issue if the group chat only has girls. I would've left immediately but the thing is through that group chat, that is my only chance or way of communicating with the girls. I feel hurt and sad since it also feels like he doesn't trust me that much, I also kind of feel isolated....
Now when I told him that I wanted to have friends and have a social life (since I feel alone and that, I only have my family and him to talk to...) he felt like he wasn't enough for me....
He is enough, I just wish that I can rekindle the bonds I had with some of the girls since they truly mattered to me as well.
@AislinnHimie5714 oh wow! You might not want to hear this but your boyfriend is controlling you and is sneakily making you feel bad 😕 you deserve friends, you deserve communication with other people, and you should have gone to that reunion. You deserve to be in a trusting loving relationship who doesnt tell you what to do😥 hugs you tightly 💖 I hope you can see what he's asking of you and set some much needed boundries💖 good luck 💗
@AislinnHimie5714 he probably has his own male friends to talk to right? so why shouldn't you be allowed to have female friends as well, or else he's being a hypocrite and expecting you to do something for him that he wouldn't do for you. i mean the point there isn't that you both shouldn't have friends, it's that he probably tells you to not do stuff that he's still allowed to do, or he controls you when you don't control him, and why is he allowed to do that? you shouldn't be forced to depend on just him and your family, everyone needs friends and a community to rely on. it would be a really big burden if one person was super dependent on you and you were their whole world. that's a lot of expectations. a really important factor in a healthy relationship is trust which you mentioned, and if he doesn't trust you then there is something wrong, i hope he can start to trust you more as that is the first step in a relationship!! trust is what allows people to open up and communicate to each other.
He does have his own male friends, I just wanted to have friends of my own. He just doesn't understand my hesitancy in leaving the group chat, he thinks my hesitancy stems in me desiring to connect with those male when in fact it is the opposite, I just wish he'd stop thinking that I'll leave him and trust me enough to allow me to reconnect and bond with some of my friends..
@AislinnHimie5714 the only person who should be picking your friends is you 🥰
dearest girl, I understand you feelings of isolation and they're happening for you are, indeed, isolated. you're not gonna like it, love, but feel, as an older woman, I need to tell you: you bf is toxic. no one on Earth can tell you who you can or cannot hang out with. If his insecurities are making him behave this way, he needs to deal with that, not you. You need to be able to live a full life with friends - of both genders if you wish. He's NOT THE ONE to choose it for you, darling. Please understand this as soon as possible. There are too many dangers of a toxic relationship an it all stars with isolation. Do not let him do it to you, dearest girl. Go ahead and reach out to your friends. Go be happy. You deserve it. Sending you a big, big hug all the way from Scotland.
