Mirror mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?

My story with photos is a particular one. I used to absolutely hate taking them. Why? Simple—I was absurdly overweight, I didn’t take care of my appearance, and by not seeing myself in pictures, by not allowing others to take photos of me or taking any myself, I didn’t have to deal with that reality. Honestly, whenever I looked in the mirror, I believed I was a horrible monster—that person wasn’t me.

Over time, after becoming nearly paralyzed at age 21 due to obesity and a sedentary lifestyle, and also after starting to go out more into the world, things began to slowly change. I met people who made me aware of the passive-aggressive jokes I made about myself to cope with that uncomfortable reality I was living in.

I started eating better, working on small details—like getting regular, well-done haircuts, improving my hygiene, dressing better—until eventually I started exercising. I went from weighing 140 kg to 63 kg, and today I’m at 73.5 kg because I’ve been building a lot of muscle.

Not only that, but my self-perception completely changed—especially because I started treating taking pictures as a practice: finding good lighting, angles, and comparing them with what I saw in the mirror. Many times, they didn’t match. But little by little, my perception began to shift.

I can’t deny that being physically healthy makes you feel more confident, and others notice that. It changes how you perceive yourself. Still, I keep deleting photos where I don’t look good, even though I know that’s not really the case—other people have told me I look just as good in those pictures. Sure, certain angles are more flattering, but it’s also important to remember that lenses distort reality quite a lot—and bad mirrors too.

That’s why I remind myself of these things and hold onto those positive thoughts. I don’t know if that helps, but I also believe we should trust more in the good things others notice in us. That’s what I did—even though I know everyone’s reality is different. I know I’m attractive (not everything’s sunshine and rainbows), and because of that, I receive more attention, and it’s easier for my ego to get those reminders without much extra effort.

But honestly, just like with many other things in life, it’s a matter of slowly recognizing the good things you have and bringing them out. I constantly see the beauty others carry, but because of fear or insecurity, maybe they don’t want to shine or develop it.

That’s how I slowly went from being a monster in my own eyes to someone who, for the most part, likes how he looks. I hope this helps. If you have questions, feel free to ask

@Amanda84 I guess the hardest thing for me was an inner voice was created for me by bullies, trauma, insults, unkindness, that played like a loop and I never had a chance to just be me, I accepted what was said to me, and before I knew it, years passed and I couldn't look in the mirror, to do my hair or my makeup, and I couldn't take pictures to celebrate any occasions, the pain was too triggering and I couldn't face it, my inner voice was taken away from me 🥺💜