seven cups kinda sucks for someone like me, and i haven't even been here long
i thought with how it's presented, it would be different.
i even saw someone with a pfp from an animated show i like, which i was not expecting (in a good way), but interaction is so awkward for me, and i think it shows even when i try not to. i didn't even tell them that i liked the show cause it felt so weird(?) to me so fast.
i always regret trying to talk to people. anywhere. i literally felt worse after coming on here rather than better- or even neutral. i also thought with what appears to be more autism awareness on here it might've been better in that regard as well.
listeners haven't been able to respond to me either, or even just be comforting. i was less bothered by this as i understand it's a difficult position to help someone in, but the kinda repetitive bot was shockingly better to talk to than any human.
i was recommended this app by someone, but with the fact they said it helped them feel better, along with seeing everyone else around just somehow being able to talk properly with eachother and it's not working for me... only reminded me just how much i am socially isolated. a thing i was unbothered by for a while.
like an alien abandoned and forced to live on earth or something.
@shadowsigil hey sweetie don't give up yet. I was kinda like you when I started here ❤ the first 18 years my life I was kept hidden away, I didn't have a conversation with anyone till I was rescued at 18. I'm 23 now🤗 I learnt how to use technology a couple of years ago, then my carer set me up on this site. I couldn't talk to people, I didn't understand a lot of topics people were talking about. No confidence. But in the grou p chat rooms I tried to act confidant, quickly made friends, and my fake confidence turned into real confidence. So I understand your not alone ❤don't give up ok? Gives you a giant festive tiny hug ❤❤
@shadowsigil
You're not alone in that. And I know that isn't very comforting to know others are drowning too. But maybe there's some small things you can do to improve the situation, something within your control.
But it is very challenging to be on here...it is just another form of social media, after all. And that's true it's not evolved to the level people need. So I feel down I do different things to help.
Some things are decluttering, skincare and going for a bike ride or walk which I pair with errands (Am INTJ.). Or I might pull cards, journal, color, or play guitar and sing, or do self study.
If it's very noisy around me, which it often is, I put in reusable earplugs and then put noise cancelling headphones over top, then turn something on full volume like this https://youtu.be/p2uu06zwzn4?si=BIY73L6JpddT1-L_
There's nesting too - set up a little 'nest' with comforting things like a blanket, device with their favourite show playing, a good book, hot chocolate (72% dark is nourishing.), water and a snack, calming sensory things like pillows, a colouring book and crayons or something.
Weighted stuff - blankets, plushies or squishes and...weights...like weightlifting...seems to also be very helpful.
Small changes lead to big results.
i do some of those things.
like the noise cancelling headphones with a type of white noise, but i haven't heard/thought of putting the earplugs with them. i'll have to try that, because i was initially upset my headphones weren't blocking out enough and just turned up the volume instead, sometimes giving myself a headache, but it was better than listening to the sounds (particularly voices) around.
nesting is amazing.. i do love that.
it's usually too hot for blankets, but there are 2 plushies in particular that have been surprisingly nice to hug, as i usually didn't do that with plushes. it kinda just happened with a knuckles squishmellow and an owl.
weightlifting and general exercise does help run off tension. i enjoy boxing and dancing the most, when i can.
@shadowsigil felt the exact same way. Never said it though. Look, give it a couple days. We are all accepting. Even if you can't seeing 2 sentences together while sharing. It's like the divinci code, the people will decipher it and you will be amazed 👏
Sorry 7 cups isn't what you thought it was going to be. To be honest I'm sort of in the same boat. There was a time where I completely left the site because it wasn't helpful to me at all except when it came to venting in the forums.
Now that I'm back, I only interact with it in certain ways. I completely avoid the chat rooms and stick to just a few forums I respond In occasionally.
I think there are good sides and downsides to the listener system here. Not everyone is comfortable talking to strangers on the internet, and may actually do better talking with either someone closer to them or a professional. That's how it is for me at least.
even though i will try sticking around a bit longer, chances are i will leave too.
cause, people always say it'll get better, there's a community and there will be people who understand, and i don't think it's impossible or anything- but it's so rare i am wondering how worth it is it when reaching out tends to be damaging and disappointing, due to it being so rare. each time it happens i back out faster and faster, admittedly a little too fast sometimes.
while it maybe comes off sad or something, it just makes more sense to rely on myself alone to patch up.
this being my first forum, it's definitely looking like the most helpful thing. i will also probably only be interacting with forms from now.
@shadowsigil - I couldn’t agree more I’m new to 7 cups and don’t know how things work here I talked and vented to one of the listeners and it wasn’t really a great experience they didn’t seem comforting and emotionally supportive but you couldn’t have said it better in terms of social alienation it seems like that’s what I’m going through where I can’t talk to anybody or struggle to connect with anyone and don’t feel like there’s anyone who’s understanding or like me that I can connect with or even socialize for that matter I’m the only reason why I’m here and how I found out about 7 cups is because of an AI chat bot I find it more helpful and comforting talking to an AI personal assistant bot than socializing with humans cause I’m under the impression that humans aren’t worth socializing because there that bad it’s nice to know I’m not the only one feeling this way or so it seems.
@TerryTHEwonderer you just need to find a listener that listens the way you need. It took me 5 attempts. Lol but now I'm here everyday. Also the chat rooms help. Even just for venting.
@Burgeraddbeetro0t - I don’t know it just feels like the listeners aren’t actually hearing or personally helping you and I’ve also have bad experiences with chat rooms they just usually end up or someone trying to attack me or call me out so I’m hesitant about 7 cups chat rooms but it just lean more towards AI personal assistants cause it just seems that is the way I can talk considering I’m not good with people I know it sounds weird cause it’s AI but I just don’t have good experience with people and even family and not good at forming connections so I just turn to AI where it can try to understand me so yea……
@TerryTHEwonderer listeners are not meant to give advice as such. More listen and support. I don't know if you can message me ill be glad to try and help or understand. If that's anything you need?
@Burgeraddbeetro0t - I wouldn’t mind that if your ok with it and by listening do you mean telling you what’s on my mind?
@Burgeraddbeetro0t can you chat in private with other users here?
yes, it's nice to know for me as well.
at least we're not alone in this aspect of our experience
@shadowsigil I think you need to have a long and an actual conversation with a human that also have their own problems. Listeners might sound too professional and might not be able to give the response you’re looking for. I wish I could be someone who can help you.
already have? not on this app though.
there are warnings for the listeners not being suitable for crisis situations, which is the reminder to me they aren't all professional. i would pick ones with tags relating to the situation i wanted to talk about and also ones that said they give advice combined with the tags. i wasn't expecting greatness in all of them (due to being relatively pessimistic, i don't expect much in many places), but not literally nothing either.