If Your 13-Year-Old Self Could Roast You for One Day, What Would They Call You Out On First?
Picture this: Your 13-year-old self wakes up in your current body for 24 hours, looks around at your life, your phone, your fridge, your outfit choices... and suddenly has full permission to speak with zero filter. They’ve been waiting years to drag you.
What’s the very first savage thing that middle-school version of you would hit you with? Be brutally specific—quote their exact burn for maximum chaos. Bonus points if it’s something you swore you’d never become. 😂🔥
I’ll start: My 13-year-old self would stare at my alarm clock, my untouched gym bag, and my coffee addiction, then go: “You said you’d be a rockstar millionaire by now, not refreshing your banking app at 2 a.m. hoping the direct deposit hits early. You literally traded dreams for spreadsheets and ‘adulting’ playlists. Pathetic. Also, those socks don’t match and you call it ‘vibes’?”
Your turn—what brutal truth is your inner teen ready to unleash? No mercy, let’s hear the roasts! 😈🫣
@SkyeBanfeild
Bahaha oh my this is golden...
hmm...
13 year old me would probably say Remina! You said you were going to be a published poet or author but you havent written anything in almost a year, what happened, girl! 😤 Then she would probably be like why are we married to the job, girly, but then she would see the car and the dog and the paychecks and be like, okaaay gurl yas queen. LOL. I am horrible at roasting. I think 13 year old me would actually be happy that I have come so far.
@SkyeBanfeild
I'm currently sat in the partner dining room at work before my night shift refilling the freezers. My parents constantly drummed into me to study and do my homework so I didn't end up filling shelves in a supermarket, bingo !!!!
@SkyeBanfeild Probably for being a basic teen girl. I always said I wasn't gonna act like a teen, I was going to wear sparkles and pink and not dumb teen stuff but here I am with ripped jeans and hoodies lol
@SkyeBanfeild
This is hilarious! I don't know exactly what 13-year-old me would say, but I know she would definitely be disappointed that I don't have the tattoos that were on my Pinterest board/Tumblr at that time! Lol
Mine would say giiiirl you can't defy gravity so sit yoself down and quit trying to fall..
I have pots so would definitely be roasting myself over that ..