How much is too much?
As a listener and/or a member here, it can sometimes be difficult to figure out how much personal information you are comfortable sharing (and still being mindful of the rules here). It can be helpful for the person you are chatting with to have a little bit of information about you to help them understand your situation and perspective on things, but at the same time, safety and anonymity is a key part of the foundation of 7Cups.
We all agree to abide by the Community Guidelines when registering an account as a member and /or listener such as no contact on any other platform, no sharing of social media, phone numbers, email, etc. And those rules are super important for everyone's safety and security here.
So you might be wondering, what are ways that you can still share a bit about yourself without it being too much or going against the Community Guidelines.
Here are some examples of how to share in a way that is safe yet helpful for giving context in a chat:
1) your age = you can give a range instead of an exact number, for example you can say, I'm in my early 20s or something like that
2) where are you from? = again, you can give a general description, for example, "I'm in the US on the West Coast"
3) religion = this one really depends on what you feel comfortable sharing, but you can say something such as "I'm Christian" without going into too much detail, but if the chat feels too invasive, you can tell the person that you would rather not get into religion with them
4) what do you do? = a general statement such as I'm a college student or I work in the....field" is enough to give a sense what you do
Giving some basic general information can really help a member and listener understand each other, but there is no reason to share anything that you are uncomfortable sharing.
Always let the other person know if the chat is becoming uncomfortable. If a listener or member encourages you to meet on another site or talk on the phone or video or email, remind them of the Community Guidelines that we all agree to when we join. If they continue to push for taking the chat elsewhere, you can block them and/or take screenshots of the chat and report them by email: Community@7cups.com.
Giving support or getting support should always feel safe here 😊
@halcyonCloud2036
Oooh nice thread, Cloud! It can be confusing for many when it comes to how much would be okay to share, so nice to see you giving everyone a general idea about things and suggesting what might be the right way to go about things, in case things go south. Great job on these informative posts, I for one, really enjoy them and commend your efforts for the same. ❤
My general rule of thumb with personal information, is that, any which you're comfortable to share is fine, so long the information you share is rather general stuff about you and not traceable to you, off cups in anyway.
Also, it is always a good reminder for self, that, we never have to share anything we are not comfortable with ( even if it seems more on the general side otherwise ). Do you, always. ❤
@halcyonCloud2036
This is a great perspective! Thank you for sharing, especially for new members and listeners, it is helpful to know that it is our level of comfort that is the key!
Thanks so much for this reminder :)
This is part of my dislike for many icebreakers. They add to the personal information we share and they aren't related to the issues members come here for, which often already gives a lot of personal information about us.
You are absolutely right! thanks for toyr thoughts
@halcyonCloud2036
Hi,
Thank you so much for sharing such an important message.
I will be mindful of these points from my next chat onwards :)
Sending love and peace
@halcyonCloud2036
Thank you this was very helpful!
I think personal information gives a lot of context to who you are. Especially your age and where you are from. They are not identifying qualities for anyone to search who you are. A general rule of thumb is to give a country. And your age won't reveal who you are, so why not share it. Anything else is off limits in my opinion. But I love when members are comfortable enough to share such things with me. It gives a lot of context without breaking anonymity.
@halcyonCloud2036
I gave up being a listener. People wanted to talk about sex and things like that, and I've only got an associate's degree in psychology. I'm not a psychologist. I try to be supportive, but people got too graphic.
@halcyonCloud2036 this was helpful, thank you