My Struggles with anxiety
I’m a 27-year-old male, and 9 months ago, my life changed in a way I never expected. I had my first anxiety and panic attack. I genuinely thought I was dying and ended up in the ER.
At the time, I was juggling a failing business and the immense stress of trying to keep it afloat while working. The breaking point came when my girlfriend(now ex) called me while drunk and told me I was her "safe option." That one sentence triggered an avalanche of overthinking that left me unable to sleep for days. My mind just wouldn’t shut off—and eventually, my body gave out.
The next three months were the darkest of my life. I had intrusive thoughts about my future, my past, my happiness, and even my sexuality—things I had never worried about before. It felt like my brain was attacking me.
But I kept going. The following 4 months, I slowly started to heal. I felt like myself again. I even went two full months without a single episode. I was happy.
Unfortunately, 4 days ago, the anxiety crept back in. I’m posting this because I am terrified. I’m scared that I’m going to slide back into that endless loop of panic and darkness.
Has anyone else been here? How do you stop the fear of the fear itself? I thought I was out, and now I’m fighting not to drown again.
@peachWillow4335
Dear Beloved,
What you have described is something many people experience after recovering from a difficult period of anxiety and panic. When symptoms return after a period of feeling better, it can be frightening and can create a fear of falling back into the same cycle. However, a setback doesn't mean that you are back at the beginning.
You went through an extremely stressful period in your life, and despite how difficult it was, you gradually improved. The fact that you were able to experience months of recovery and even spend two months without any episodes shows that healing is possible and that you have already developed the ability to get through this.
The fear of anxiety itself can become part of the cycle. We become so focused on preventing anxiety that every sensation, thought, or feeling starts to feel threatening. When this happens, it can help to remind yourself that a temporary increase in symptoms does not mean you are losing all your progress.
Focus on the coping strategies that helped you previously. Maintaining healthy routines can help with anxiety issues. If the anxiety continues to worsen or becomes difficult to manage, consider reaching out to your therapist.
Please be compassionate with yourself. Recovery is rarely a straight line, and setbacks can be a normal part of the healing process. The progress you have made over the past several months is still yours, and a difficult few days cannot erase it.
@Eternalbliss00 thanks
@peachWillow4335 I have been there, and I know how it feels. Especially with relapse.
My advice to you is "Do not give up on yourself" as long as you are determined to heal from this, you will heal. No matter the relapses
This was so well articulated, don’t worry, you are not alone, heaps of people experience this, it will all be ok I promise. Fear of the fear is really common and just part of the recovery journey. You know you survived before so you will always survive, the journey just takes time. You’re doing amazing.
Hey! I've been in your position! I went to the ER once because of a panic attack before too. My family is very homophobic and transphobic and I'm secretly a trans girl so I know how it feels to be rejected and people I love hurt me in the worst way. I'm so sorry that this is happening. I have horrible anxiety! I can't even make myself to make a phone call about serious medical stuff. I've been trying to make phone calls and I just shake and brake down crying. Sorry this is so hard for you. I hope it gets better for you. I'm always here to talk and I'll try to get back to you when I can.
Personaly I've never had a Panik attack but here's what I recommend
1st start a hobby something that you like
2nd you mentioned a business try something that people can relate or need in there life
3rd go to the gym to keep your mind off things
4th stay organized it'll releave the stress and that is fact checked
Here are my tips
I hope you feeling better my friend.
I relate to this more than you know. I’m going through something hard right now too, and the fear of going back into a dark place is real. But healing isn’t a straight line, it loops and dips even after you’ve made real progress. The fact that you healed for those months means you have that capacity in you, and it’s still there even when anxiety creeps back. You’ll be okay. Be gentle with yourself right now. Trust me, you are making good progress.
